Wow! What an amazing Havoc this week! The in-ring action almost takes a backseat to the brawl that erupted in the back the XPW invaded the CheeseDome!

Let's get to the recap!

Hardcore Porn King Series Match 2
TK-069 over Wednesday

The former Big Cheese Champion took the win over his tag partner when he avoided a Seven Days moonsault and connected on Wednesday with a Flyin Negra splash! After the bout, the partners shook hands in a show of good sportsmanship.

Personally, I woulda decked one of 'em when he wasn't lookin.

Hotties Match
Butterrican over Cowgirl Jack

My favorite match of the night. These two fan favorites came into this match pretty even, with Butter's firey explosiveness combining nicely with the Cowgirl's determination. Both former Women's Booby Champions and both two-time Lipstick Lesbian Tag Champions, the odds were pretty even.

The end of this amazingly entertaining bout came when Butter slipped out of Cowgirl's bulldog attempt and whipped her off of the ropes connecting with a high bodyblock. One Latina Fury later, Butter stood victorious. After the match, Butter and her tag partner Stareena celebrated in the ring in the way that only The Divas could, much to the delight of the RDCW fans (and me!)


Undefeated DCMB World Champion MisterJLA is seen in his locker room, with his World Title thrown over his left shoulder. He is watching a tape of DCMB # 1 Contender Chris Oakley’s interview, in which Oakley claims that he will take the championship. JLA looks slightly concerned. He then takes the tape out of the player, and smashes it.

JLA: Howdy? Cap? Where is that scalawag?

Howdy: What is it? I’ve got a junkyard invitational to plan!

JLA: Did you see this interview? Oakley means business. He looks very determined…no, I’d say obsessed with taking my belt. Do you have a plan for me?

Howdy: Sure, here’s a plan: go to the ring, and kick his bloody arse!

JLA: Yeah Howdy, that really sounds like a terrific idea. Don’t you have anything else? I’m going to need some sort of edge…

Just then, Hardcore Porn Champion Wednesday walks past JLA’s locker room.

Wednesday: “Cowabunga, duuuuuudes!”

JLA: Cowabunga? Cowabunga…that’s it! Howdy, I have an idea that should work!

JLA scribbles something down on a piece of paper, and hands it to the Captain.

JLA: Go now! I need you to get this for me! Hurry!

Howdy runs off, and JLA hears "Rooster." JLA looks at his monitor, and sees Chris Oakley and his manager Ian St. John Bond take the ring.

Soon after, JLA hears Rob’s Damn Killer Instinct Theme Music Rip-Off play over the Cheesedome speakers. He calmly walks out his locker room, walks down the aisle, nearly gets assaulted by several fans, and enters the ring. Ring Announcer James White makes the intros, and just as Ian St. John Bond leaves the ring, Captain Howdy rushes to MisterJLA’s corner with…a large paper bag? In any event, the bell sounds, and the match is underway!

DCMB World Heavyweight Championship
MisterJLA (Champion) vs Chris Oakley (#1 Contender)

Both contestants pace the ring for a while, with neither willing to make a mistake so early in the match. Finally, the two lock up, with Oakley getting the advantage. He Irish Whips JLA…into a power bomb! Oakley caught the Champion off guard, and connected with The Cape Cod Crunch to start the match off!

Oakley goes for a quick pin, but JLA kicks out after two.

Oakley follows up with a backbreaker, and then Irish Whips JLA into a turnbuckle. JLA stumbles out of the corner, and Oakley greets him with a back drop.

Oakley climbs up to the second rope, waits for JLA to get to his feet, and lands The Logan Express, a brutal flying tackle off the second rope!

Oakley goes for another cover, but again gets only a two count.

Oakley now appears frustrated. He hit the Champ with two of his signature moves very early in the match, but couldn’t put him away.

Ian St. John Bond jumps on the ring apron, and shouts for Chris to slow the match down. Howdy pulls Ian St. John Bond off the apron, and knocks him out with a sharp punch to the temple!

Chris however, heard his manager, and follows his advice. He applies a sharpshooter to JLA, who pulls himself to the bottom rope after being trapped for what seemed like ages.

Before the Champ can recover, Oakley hits him with a German suplex, and then locks JLA in a Boston Crab. JLA again gets crawls to the ropes, and gets a break.

As the match goes on, Oakley marvels the crowd with an impressive array of moves and submission holds, but somehow, his adversary won’t stay pinned.

Oakley then loses his cool. He traps JLA in a corner, and repeatedly punches him. Special Guest Referee Stupid Doog pleads with Oakley to break since JLA is in the corner, but Oakley is enraged. Finally, Stupid Doog physically forces Oakley back, giving JLA some space.

Captain Howdy seizes the opportunity and hands JLA the mysterious paper bag that he ran off the get earlier. JLA covers up the bag, and pulls something out of it.

After being warned by Stupid Doog, Oakley walks over to the corner where JLA has his back turned to him.

JLA turns around and is holding…a gallon of milk? JLA takes the top of it off, and starts to drink from it. Oakley looks bewildered.

“Hey Chris…GOT MILK?” shouts JLA, and Oakley loses control. He runs over to JLA, and knocks the gallon of milk out of his hands. Milk spills everywhere, and Howdy starts to laugh uncontrollably.

“I’ll show you!” screams Chris, and he picks JLA up in a gorilla press.


Chris walks around with JLA held high over his head…but Oakley slips on a puddle of milk!

Oakley is sent to the mat…and JLA crashes down on top of him!

JLA is covering Oakley, who appears to be knocked out!

Stupid Dogg shakes his head, and makes the count.

1…2…3

JLA, who didn’t land one move the entire match, just retained his World Title.

MarcuM: What a brilliant move by the DCMB Champ!

The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."