#52989
2003-11-04 1:39 AM
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 203
200+ posts
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Sad Joke that just came to mind:
A wife tells her husband about a dream she had that night. There was a cave full of tables, like a farmer market almost, all these people selling their wares.
What were they selling? the husband asks.
Well, they were selling dicks, all shapes and sizes. Big ones, small ones, every kind you could imagine.
Oh? Where would mine have fit in?
Oh, well, they couldn't even give YOURS away it was so small!
The husband didn't find this overly amusing, and so plotted his revenge. The next morning he woke and told his wife about a dream he had.
I was in a cave and there were people there selling things.
What kinds of things?
Vaginas, if you really must know. Tight ones, loose ones, deep ones, shallow ones, all sizes and fits.
Really? Well then, where do you think mine would've fit in?
Oh, yours was the cave!
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#52990
2003-11-04 1:41 AM
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,240
Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Loose morals = loose naughty bits
I'm a healthy 2 inches+ and I'm rarin ta go. Of course, I didn't say how +....Mystery is always good.
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#52991
2003-11-04 1:42 AM
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,240
Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Posts: 16,240 |
I heard that overweight men grow in length when they lose weight..it's true. I once lost 45 lbs.
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#52992
2003-11-04 1:53 AM
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 203
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Just out of curiousity... A guy's dick seems to him to be the center of his universe. That is until a fine pair of breasts walks by, then we seem to have some new type of system, binary perhaps, but with the penis spiraling into the gravity well of the breasts (hopefully anyway, right? ![[wink]](images/icons/wink.gif) ). Breasts for a man define a woman, how do woman see themselves? Which makes me think of yet another pathetic joke. *sigh* A woman was very disappointed about her self image, her breasts were simply too small. She had a fine body, but in the right clothes and with short hair, she could probably pass for a boy. Distraught, she saw an ad for self hypnotism and how it could change your image. Taking the ad in hand she raced to the address and made an appointment with Dr. Schlong. She told him about her problem with her small breasts, and he explained to her how self hypnotism had cured people's warts and all that find stuff. So he taught her a small rhyme, and told her to repeat it every morning until she achieved the desired effect. Several weeks later, as she got on the bus, she noticed a slight bounce that hadn't been there before and smiled. She took her seat at the back of the bus and followed the doctor's orders, "Scooby dooby booby, I want bigger boobies!" The man sitting in front of her wheeled around in surprise, "You go to Doctor Schlong, too!? Hickory dickory dock, I want a bigger cock." Great story, huh? ... ![[sad]](images/icons/frown.gif) I'll just go hide in the corner now
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#52993
2003-11-04 3:41 PM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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#52994
2003-11-05 1:32 AM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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quote:
4 Women Discuss Penis Size
By Vanessa Burton Since there is always much debate on the size of penises, I gathered 4 women from different walks of life to discuss the issue of size in order to set the record straight once and for all. Unfortunately, some guys may not like what they hear, but all men must keep in mind that every individual differs.
So although most women agree that size matters, that doesn't exactly mean that they expect you to give Dirk Diggler a run for his money. Simply put, each woman has her preferences, but the majority don't place a huge importance on a man's genitalia -- there are much more important things that must meet the compatibility standard besides that.
Me and the gals Hooking up with some ladies to talk about whether or not size matters was very interesting, to say the very least.
Note: In order to protect their privacy, the women's names have been changed.
The players:
quote:
Fadia -- Financial Advisor - 28 years old - married
Giovanna -- High School Teacher - 30 years old - single
Heather -- Student - 21 years old - dating
Veronica -- Engineer - 42 years old -- divorced
So ladies, thank you for joining me. Let me get right to the questions. Does the size of a man's penis matter? And please feel free to give reasons why.
Fadia: Yes it does, but that doesn't mean that I'm in search of a 12-inch kielbasa either. So long as it's an adequate size.
Heather: And what's adequate?
Fadia: I don't know, about 5 or 6 inches, I guess. But the look of it is more important, I mean, it needs to match the rest of his skin tone and the less veiny it is, the better. (Giggles all around.)
Giovanna: Well, I think size is very important. A man has to have a big package to please me. It has to be long, let's say 8 inches or more, and the girth should be thick as well.
Veronica: That sounds painful, to be honest. Before I was married, I dated a man who was well-endowed, too well-endowed, and well, we could never really enjoy sex because I always felt like if he put it all the way in, it would come up the back of my throat, and that's not enjoyable.
Heather: Well, I was with this great guy who had a 3.5-inch penis, and although I adored him and thought he was a very attentive lover, he couldn't get passed the size of his manhood and we ultimately broke up. I thought things were great, but I guess his insecurity won over in the end. He even told me that he would only be comfortable with a virgin because at least he'd know that she wasn't comparing him to another. So maybe size matters more to guys than it does to us.
Giovanna: I think size matters to many women, they're just afraid to admit it because guys might get the impression that they're loose.
Veronica: Yeah, literally. (I can feel the tension.)
So, Giovanna, why do you have that "the bigger the better" mentality?
Giovanna: Well, I've been with guys that were about 4 to 6 inches and to be quite frank, I didn't get any pleasure out of it. But when I finally hooked up with my last boyfriend, let's just say he was so well-hung that horses looked at him with envy.
Heather: Well, I practice my Kegel exercises regularly, and a long, thick penis isn't what I need to enjoy myself with a man. I can't believe we're even discussing this, how shallow are we? I'm not saying that you don't practice your exercises, Giovanna; it's just that a huge penis is not essential for a woman to feel pleasure.
Giovanna: How can you say that? I'm saying it is, maybe it isn't for you ladies, but I need a bigger penis if I'm going to enjoy myself and I'm not ashamed to say it. (That's because we're not using her real name.)
How big are we talking?
Giovanna: I'd say about 9, maybe 10 inches. (All the other women take deep gasping breaths.) What? That's what I like.
Heather: You're a bigger woman than me. (That one's just too easy.) Just like some women would never stay with a man with a penis that was too small, I couldn't picture myself staying with a man that was too big, and that is way too big.
Veronica: Now my husband by no means comes remotely close to double digits in inches, but I am thoroughly satisfied with his member and even when I satisfy him with my mouth, I'm comfortable because it's not so big that I'm afraid that I might scrape it with my back molars.
Good point, so what about that? Does penis size matter when it comes to fellatio?
Fadia: Yeah, this is where I'm sure we'd all like it to be much smaller so that it seems like we can inhale it with no problem. (All women nod in agreement -- except, of course, for Giovanna.)
Giovanna: Again, I have to disagree. I like it big, I like having a lot to play with. Anyway, I have the talent that is commonly referred to as Project Deep Throat. And as you can see, there's plenty of room in my mouth.
Heather: Wow, you're lucky, I always gag the moment the penis comes anywhere near the back of my throat.
Uh, let's get back to the subject at hand, shall we? So ladies, how big is too big?
Fadia: Anything over 6 inches is too big for me.
Heather: I'd say that's about right.
Giovanna: The sky's the limit.
Veronica: Careful what you wish for sweetie. Anyway, I'd say about 7 inches is way too big.
And of course, how small is too small?
Fadia: Less than 4 would probably bother me, and what's funny, I think my problem would lie in the visual aspect of it rather than the physical one.
Giovanna: Anything less than 7.5 inches is going to cause a huge rift in the relationship.
Veronica: Wow, you're brutal. I'd say anything less than 4 as well. 4 inches would be acceptable, but less than that might not be enough. I can't say that I know for sure.
Heather: I know this sounds cheesy, but I could care less about the size of a man's penis.
So if a guy had a 2-inch penis, that wouldn't bother you at all?
Heather: Okay, maybe then, but still there are ways around it. There's so much more to a relationship than just sex.
Giovanna: Yes, but sexual compatibility is very important as well.
Good point. Now be honest with this next question. Would you dump a guy over penis size?
Heather: No. Well, if he was so big that he tore me to pieces or if he was so small that I could never reach orgasm through sexual intercourse, then I guess eventually, things would just disintegrate in the relationship.
Giovanna: I would dump a guy in a heartbeat. I ask about his penis size even before we start engaging in any sex at all.
Veronica: It depends, it's never happened up to this point, so I'll say no.
Fadia: If it was less than 4, like I said before, then maybe that would make me reconsider the relationship. And by the way, Ronnie, you just contradicted yourself since the last question.
Veronica: Yeah well, these questions aren't black and white ones. They require lots of thought and I really don't think that I could let go of an entire relationship over the size of a man's penis.
Giovanna: That's why you should ask off the bat. He wants to know how many men I've been with, fine. I want to know how well-endowed he is.
And lastly, if you decide that you couldn't be with a guy because his penis was either too big or too small, would you be honest or give him that "it's not you, it's me" speech?
Giovanna: Hey, if I ask how big it is and he says something like "5 inches," I pay the bill and say bye-bye. (Hey, at least she foots the bill.)
Heather: No, I would lie through my teeth and make up some lame excuse. If a guy told me he was leaving me because I was inadequate in the sack, I think I'd be in therapy for years.
Veronica: I would never tell a man I was leaving him because his penis was too small, but I would definitely tell him I was leaving because it was too big. For some reason, the latter doesn't sound like it would shatter his ego.
Fadia: I would never tell a guy I was leaving him because of the size of his penis. That's just ludicrous. I would make up something about "I don't see a future with us." But, no, I would never tell a guy that, it's bad enough you're leaving him.
It's all about size So there you have it guys, for some size matters more than anything, for others, it's not so important. The difference lies in what she perceives as the norm.
Out of the 4 ladies, only one was adamant on having a mammoth penis. So does that mean that 25% of women think that size matters? Hardly. It just means that some women might place a high importance on your size, but most care more about your sex techniques.
Ultimately, size does play a role in a woman's wants, but in the majority of cases, so long as your member exceeds the 4-inch mark, you have nothing to worry about. As well, if your little buddy exceeds the 8-inch mark, women may run in the other direction as well.
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#52995
2003-11-05 7:12 PM
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 203
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How come it's alright for women to consider a guy's 'size', but a guy is shallow or sexist if a girlfriend falls short because her chest is too small, or she's too 'loose'. I hate these double standards!
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#52996
2003-11-05 7:31 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 5,142
5000+ posts
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5000+ posts
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Why is it that a man is a legend for sleeping with a lot of women, but a woman is a slut for sleeping with a lot of men?
Double standards are all over the place, dude.
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#52997
2003-11-06 12:45 AM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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I still think women want men with big pee-pees.
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#52998
2003-11-06 9:01 AM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,859
Gothic Do-gooder 2500+ posts
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Gothic Do-gooder 2500+ posts
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That whole article is a sham.
I've been with both ends of the spectrum. Now consider this...if a woman only wants big dick, it usually means she loose and cannot feel anything less. Which means that the more she engages with big dicks the bigger she will have to go as they will beging to stretch her further.
Now if she had done her kegals like a good girl, this wouldn't have happened to her. I've been with a good number of people and I always do my kegals and not once have I been told I was a little too loose.
All that aside, I still say technique is better. I had a man with a 2.5 erection that was amazing in bed and a man with a 7 erection who was quite lousey ( a good portion of "average" men I have been with have fallen into this category). If you don't know what you are doing with it, the how can you achieve satisfaction? Simply shoving it in and moving it around is not enough. You need to know where you are hitting and how you are doing it. Otherwise you are wasting peoples time.
I'm sticking with my technique over size.
Besides, why would I lie to yo all, I haven't seen any of your dicks.
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#52999
2003-11-06 11:06 AM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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You've never seen my dick?
I'll have to fax you my resumé!
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#53000
2003-11-06 10:24 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,859
Gothic Do-gooder 2500+ posts
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Gothic Do-gooder 2500+ posts
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Posts: 2,859 |
:::Waiting, sweetheart, waiting...:::
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#53001
2003-11-06 10:34 PM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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Shit, it's jammed! ![[AAAHHHH!!!]](graemlins/aahhh.gif)
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#53002
2003-11-06 11:26 PM
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,998
1500+ posts
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1500+ posts
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The PICTURE!!! THE PICTURE GOES IN THE FAX MACHINE!!!
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#53003
2003-11-06 11:27 PM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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Dammit!
Well, it may be flat, but it's wider than a pancake!
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#53004
2003-11-09 11:32 PM
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 203
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#53005
2003-11-10 6:05 PM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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Maybe I can shake it back to normal like in the cartoons!
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#53006
2003-11-10 9:33 PM
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,998
1500+ posts
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Or maybe it needs to be "blown" up... ![[who, me?]](graemlins/whome01.gif)
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#53007
2003-11-10 9:39 PM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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#53008
2003-11-11 7:28 PM
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 203
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Woo! 58 replies! The longest thread started by me ever! Ok... Whatever ![[biiiig grin]](images/icons/grin.gif)
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#53009
2003-11-12 11:45 PM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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#53010
2003-11-22 10:20 PM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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Why is it all the gay dudes have the big dongers? I read a two-year old study recently that said homosexual men's penis size average is 3-6% greater than the reconized averages in length and girth.
It ain't fair I say!
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#53011
2003-12-02 2:41 AM
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 203
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WTH is 3-6% going to amount to!? Anyway, if you're so jealous, TK, maybe you need to become gay...?
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#53012
2003-12-02 3:06 AM
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 360
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When asked if I have a huge cock, I can never give an honest answer...because I honestly don't know. It's not like I'm out comparing with anybody....
I may be somehow deformed, though...
Is a something akin to a baby's arm holding an apple the norm?
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#53013
2003-12-04 2:14 PM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
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Kinda. It's more like a python with a football in it's mouth.
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#53014
2003-12-04 10:09 PM
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854
Schlub 15000+ posts
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Schlub 15000+ posts
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nope, size doesn't matter. But i wouldn't really know. Pain just come natural with it. and plus, its been like 120 some days. heh...i'm probably gonna be stuck with a pack of AA's and a bottle of slide and ride. ![[sad]](images/icons/frown.gif)
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#53015
2003-12-05 9:30 AM
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 360
300+ posts
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quote: Originally posted by TK-069: Kinda. It's more like a python with a football in it's mouth.
Freak.
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#53016
2003-12-06 2:37 PM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,080
He tastes of America 15000+ posts
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Wow, you replied to yourself... 4 months later?
Define reality for me, and I will show it to you.
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He fixes the cable?
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 40,854
Schlub 15000+ posts
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Schlub 15000+ posts
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And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack. 2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points
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Joined: Oct 2002
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He fixes the cable?
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,028
2000+ posts
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The Leg Breakerer: Kung Fu Masta!!!
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