Chesty: Balls Nasty, Mr.JLA has his DCMB title on the line at your match tonight.
Nasty: So?
Chesty: Well, does having a shot at that title add to the tension for this match?
Nasty: Tension? What tension? This is just another match, plain and simple. JLA may hold his title high and proclaim its as a badge of honor, but I have just one question for you, JLA. If the DCMB is that damn hot, if its as important as you say it is, why, JLA, why are you here?
You don't have to answer, JLA, because me and everyone out there in the Cheesedome tonight already know the answer. You're here for the same reason that everyone else who left the DCMB promotion is here. It's a shell of a promotion with nothing but little, anal retentive geeks worrying if the seams in their tights are straight. A gluttony of no talents too busy living out a fantasy, an illusion of superiority for their own self gratification. Did you get tired of running through the Batboarders, JLA? Who were the top challengers for you "title"? The Legionaries? I think we all know what kind of fight they can put up.
You came here to escape, JLA. You came here to get away from posers and the terminally stupid. More importantly, JLA, you fled here to keep from being eaten alive by the corporate cancer feeding on the DCMB. The giant corporation has turned that promotion into a factory, stamping out pre-fab wrestlers with their monthly catch-phrases and t-shirts to match. The very thing that makes fans and wrestlers like me sick. And you have come to Rob's Damn Championship Wrestling to avoid being swollowed whole.
The problem is, JLA, that you wear around your waste is the very thing that threatens to consume you. That farce of a belt is not a championship. It's nothing but a giant billboard. "Place your ad here." You're nothing but a whore for those planning your own downfall.
Don't worry, JLA. Tonight, I'm going to make everything right. I'm going to cripple the power of the DCMB and drive it out of the RDCW. I'll do this not because it's in the best interest of the Family Business. Not out of some sense of loyalty to the RDCW. And sure as hell not because I'm a nice guy. You see, JLA, only one thing in this whole world that really makes me happy. That's hurting people. I never feel better than I do cracking some chump open. And the more reasons I have to hurt someone, the happier I am doing it.
Get ready, JLA, because I feel like tonight is going to be the happiest night of my life.
