Women’s Boobie Belt Match: Sneaky Bunny versus Harleykwin

MisterJLA’s protégée and newest RDCW Diva, Harleykwin, did her best to unseat the Bastardo Family’s own Diva. But Sneaky Bunny used moves from her own playbook, as well as those from her teammates, to keep her opponent off-balance and at a disadvantage. A Wildsault set Harleykwin up for the Taxidermy. A three-count later and Sneaky Bunny had retained her title.


Hell In A Cell: James Fantastic versus Charlie

This was another brutal match. These longtime foes spent more time brawling and using the cage as a weapon against each other than on any semblance of the technical wrestling they are famous for. By the end of the match, both wrestlers were covered in blood and barely able to stay on their feet. But Charlie was able to hit his Pitbull DDT to secure the victory.


TLC III: Joe Mama/King Snarf versus SD-6 versus The Allied Powers

Monroe: It’s time! It’s time! It’s Main Event Time!

Rob’s Killer Instinct Rip-Off Theme Music plays, and the crowd respond with cheers! MisterJLA and Captain Howdy emerge from behind the Cheesedome curtain, and Ring Announcer James White makes the intro from the ring, which has a table in one corner, a ladder in another, and a chair in each of the remaining corners.

James White: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Main Event, TLC-III for the Donkey Lovin’ Tag Titles!

First, from London, England: Captain Howdy! And his tag team partner, from somewhere in the United States, MisterJLA! Together, they are the Allied Powers!

The Powers quickly take the ring, and JLA takes the mic from James White.

JLA: This is bull! Why are we introduced first? We are undefeated! We should be introduced last, since we are the best team to ---

MisterJLA is interrupted by “Let’s Get It Started” as Captain Sammitch and PenWing enter the ring area and walk down the ramp. James White takes the mic back from a frustrated JLA and introduces the pair. As PenWing and Sammitch enter the ring, a disgusted MisterJLA leaves the ring, followed after a moment by an apathetic Captain Howdy. Moments later, “Ecstasy Of Gold” plays and the Tag Team Donkey Lovin’ Champions make their way down the ramp and enter the ring. King Snarf points to PenWing and starts lambasting him and Captain Sammitch while Joe Mama stares down MisterJLA before pointing to him, grimacing, and dragging a thumb across his throat. MisterJLA steps behind Captain Howdy, and then starts yelling at Joe Mama. Finally the teams go back to their corners and the bell rings.

The match is underway, and JLA charges at Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion Joe Mama! Howdy attacks Captain Sammitch, and former RDCW Champion King Snarf lunges at the man who took his title, current Champ PenWing! JLA throws a punch which Joe Mama blocks, and then reels off punches of his own. JLA staggers back, and tries to connect with Final Justice, his illegal finisher, which is a kick to the balls, and the only move in JLA’s arsenal. Joe Mama catches his enemy’s foot, spins JLA around a few times, and delivers an East Coast Hammer! JLA appears to be knocked out, and Joe covers him, and continues to tap the canvas 1…2…3! Joe completed a mock three count of JLA!

Marcum: Here in the opening stages of the match, Joe has counted JLA out!

Monroe: But that doesn’t mean anything! This match is all about climbing to the top of the ladder, and grabbing the Tag gold! First person to do that wins the Tag Championship for their team!

With the other four participants brawling, Joe grabs the ladder, and stands it up right under the Tag Belts, which are hanging from a cable attached to the Cheesedome ceiling!



Joe quickly climbs the ladder, as JLA struggles to get to his feet! Just as Joe Mama climbs to the top of the ladder, JLA kicks it over, and Joe is sent flying to the canvas!

Monroe: It looks like JLA just gave the ladder a Final Justice!

JLA quickly grabs a chair, and waits for Joe to get to his feet. Once he does, JLA delivers a vicious chair shot!



JLA stands over Joe, waiting to hit him with another brutal shot to the head!

Monroe: He may not know how to wrestle, but he sure can swing a steel chair!

Meanwhile, while Captains Sammitch and Howdy battle outside the ring, King Snarf sends PenWing to the mat with a chokeslam, and sees that his partner is in trouble. He sneaks up behind JLA, and gives him a German suplex that buys Joe time to recover!



But PenWing quickly recovers and attacks both King Snarf AND MisterJLA! PenWing dropkicks MisterJLA out of the ring, then turns his attention back to King Snarf, assaulting him with a brutal series of punches and kicks. But King Snarf manages an eye gouge, followed by a low blow. Then he grabs PenWing and tosses him out of the ring just as Captain Howdy dispatches Captain Sammitch and enters the ring himself.

Joe Mama has slid JLA on top of a table, and JLA looks to be out! Joe then slowly climbs to the top of the ladder, and is in arm’s length of the tag championships! But he pauses…!

Monroe: Why doesn’t he just grab the belts and end the match?

Marcum: I think we’re about to find out!

Instead of ending the match by grabbing the suspended Tag Championships, Joe jumps off the top of the ladder, and hits his nemesis with a Flying Tea Bag Slam, which puts JLA through the table!

Marcum: Damn!

Both Joe and JLA are slow to get to their feet, with MisterJLA clearly feeling the worse of the two! Captain Howdy and King Snarf are the only two men in the ring, as the others are fighting all over the Cheesedome! The Captain takes a wild swing at Snarf with a chair, but misses! King Snarf takes advantage of this, by kicking Howdy in the stomach, and then using The Bastard Bomb to stun Howdy!

King Snarf looks around, and sees that this is his chance to win the match! He sets the ladder up, and due to his weakened condition, slowly climbs to the top! Referee Lothar watches King Snarf from a distance, and Howdy stumbles to his feet. Howdy sees that he is too far away to stop King Snarf from grabbing the Tag Belts, so he picks up a chair, and hits Lothar over the head with it, knocking him out!

Lothar is knocked out, and doesn’t see Snarf grab the belts, and fall off the ladder with them!

Marcum: That’s it! Joe Mama and King Snarf retain the championships!

Monroe: But Lothar didn’t see it, and the bell never sounded!

King Snarf stands up with a Tag Title in each hand and starts to jump up and down in jubilation! He’s celebrating so much that he doesn’t notice Captain Howdy walking up next to him!

Howdy hits King Snarf with…a Final Justice!

Marcum: Look at that! A vicious kick to the balls, JLA style! JLA must have taught the Captain how to execute his feared finisher!

With Snarf doubled over in pain, Howdy uses a Howdyslam: his devastating chokeslam!

Monroe: He gave him a Howdyslam…right onto a steel chair!

Howdy sees that a bloodied Lothar is regaining his senses…so Howdy quickly picks up the Tag Belts that King Snarf grabbed. Howdy then lies down on the canvas.

Lothar walks over to Captain Howdy, and sees him holding the belts. Lothar calls for the bell!

After talking to Lothar for a few moments, James White makes the announcement:

White: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of TLC III…and NEW Donkey Lovin Tag Team Champions: MisterJLA and Captain Howdy: The Allied Powers!

JLA separates himself from Joe Mama, and rushes into the ring! Both he and Howdy stand in the middle of the ring, with each member holding a tag belt high over their head. The Allied Powers’ theme music begins to play, and Joe Mama, King Snarf, Captain Sammitch, and Penwing look on in disbelief as this week's Havoc ends...