Monroe: Coming up next, we have for you..wait, what’s all of that commotion?
Marcum: It’s…MisterJLA!
MisterJLA is walking down the aisle, and the crowd starts to notice…
Monroe: But how come we don’t hear his theme music? And where’s the rest of the Powers?
MisterJLA, wearing his ring attire which consists of black boots, and black full length wrestling pants with the words “RACK me” written in blue across his ass, takes the ring, armed with a microphone…
JLA: Tonight…LAST…MAN…STANDING!
The crowd roars…!
JLA: Tonight…MisterJLA vs Balls Nasty II!
The crowd roars again!…
JLA: For the DCMB World Heavyweight Championship!
The crowd responds with…dead silence…
JLA: Is this thing on? I said: For the DCMB World Heavyweight Championship!
More silence from the crowd…
JLA: (Muttering to himself) : What the Hell?
JLA: Oh, come on! Who here loves the DC Message Boards? Give me an OH FUCK YEAH!
Nobody makes a sound…until one person from the crowd stands up and shouts “I love the DC Message Boards!” Seconds later, this fan is beaten up, and pelted with cups of soda. He would later be identified simply as “Lildeath”
JLA: (To himself) Rough crowd…
JLA: Well, two out of three ain’t bad! Tonight it’s going to be MisterJLA defeating Balls Nasty in a Last Man Standing match!
JLA has once again won the crowd over, as they cheer!
JLA: And as you can all see, tonight…I stand alone. No Rob’s Theme Music. No Captain Howdy. No Jeeves. No harleykwin. No Drzsmith. No World Tag Titles. Tonight, I get my revenge on Balls Nasty, all by myself.
Now I am well aware that Balls Nasty is connected. He has a great manager, and a man that I respect, in Slick. He’s aligned with the Legbreakererseseseseseses, a team that has designs on Howdy’s and my tag gold. He’s even on the same team as Joe Mama, the little coward who blindsided me last week, after my record-setting tournament match.
But you see, I’m not here to talk about all those other people. I know I’ll have to deal with them all down the road, but that’s not what tonight is about. Tonight is all about Nasty and I fighting each other until the finish. One on one. So I’m asking you, Nasty, to keep those clowns in the back. Tell them to sit back, and watch you get brutalized on their monitors in the locker room. I want you and I to settle this, man to man.
Marcum: He wants to keep the stables out of this! How noble!
Monroe: Or maybe he realizes how badly the Allied Powers are outnumbered!
This is a match so brutal, it cannot end until one of us is knocked off their feet for ten seconds. In a normal match, all it takes is a three count. But with tonight’s match, I have to knock that grimy scumbag out for a ten count…and I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is the match I asked for, and I got it.
Tonight, anything goes! Steel chairs, tables: anything can be used! No DQ’s! But of all the objects and weapons that can be used, the one thing that Balls Nasty should be most fearful of is…my Final Justice! I don't have to wait for the perfect moment to use it this time! I can use my Final Justice at will!
Last time you used it against me, but this time, I have a plan!
And that plan will make sure that I am the two-time, two-time, two-time DCMB Champion!
Monroe: Why did he say “two-time” three times? Wasn’t he just supposed to say it twice?
Marcum: Shut it!
JLA:Tonight, it’s personal. Balls Nasty, you were the only person to ever…defeat me. But that wasn’t enough.
You had to go and make a mockery of my belt. You used the center of my belt as ad space for Joe's Chicken and Donut Shack?!?
What a shameful thing to do! You could have at least sold the space to Wendy’s or Arby’s!
JLA pauses for a moment, and scratches his head...
JLA: No, that would have been wrong, too. You shamed my belt, and never even defended it! When I get my championship back, I will make sure I never lose it again. This is your first…and LAST title defense! Because I will be…the Last Man Standing!
