MisterJLA promo:
Chesty Lerou is seen standing outside MisterJLA’s locker room, waiting to get some final comments before his match with Balls Nasty. JLA steps out of his locker room, and Chesty catches him by surprise…
Chesty: MisterJLA, one final interview before your match with Balls Nasty?
JLA: I’ve said all that I care to say. Now if you’ll excuse me…
Chesty bats her eyes…
Chesty:Awww…please…?
JLA: Oh, all right. Because it’s you.
Chesty: Terrific! You must have heard Joe Mama’s comments earlier. What do you have to say in response?
JLA: I’m promised myself I wouldn’t get distracted with that. I need to focus on Nasty…
Chesty bats her eyes again…
Chesty: I really could use an exclusive statement about Joe Mama. And since this event features Rob's Damn Lucha Libre, can I get the comment in Spanish…I love it when guys speak Spanish!
JLA scratches his head…
JLA: ¡Joe de Mama, vestiré como un payaso, visitaré su hogar en la noche, y le forzaré comer habas mientras que le canto!
Chesty:…?
JLA: And to think that I failed Spanish in High School! Suck on that, Mrs. Thompson! Who’s laughing now!
And if you like that Chesty, there’s more, much more where that came from…
JLA looks at Chesty’s…chest, winks, then leaves for the ring. As the camera pans away, an image can be briefly seen in an un-lit corner of the hallway, which appears to be Darth…
DCMB World Heavyweight Championship: Last Man Standing
Balls Nasty (Champion) vs. MisterJLA (Former Champion)
MisterJLA walks down the Cheesedome aisle, staying true to his word: he walks alone, without his trademark music. Just as he approaches the ring, Balls Nasty runs up behind him, hitting him across the back of the head with the DCMB Belt!
Monroe: The champ sneak attacked him! Lothar has called for the bell, and we’re underway!
Seizing the opportunity, Nasty kicks JLA while he’s down, several times. He then picks up his enemy by the hair, and places him in a side headlock.
Monroe: I never thought we’d see a simple headlock in a match that’s guaranteed to be a war!
Marcum: I don’t think that’s what he has in mind!
Nasty takes JLA, and runs toward the outside ring post…
Marcum: He wants to use JLA’s head as a battering ram! If his head hits the post at that speed, the match may end that quickly!
JLA however, pushes Nasty off of him at the last moment, and sends Nasty into the ring post instead.
Monroe: That had to hurt! Oh no…JLA’s heading for us!
MisterJLA walks slowly toward the announcer’s table. He stops in front of Madman Marcum, and simply says “Chair”.
Marcum quickly gets to his feet, folds his chair, and hands it to MisterJLA.
Marcum: Here you go, sir!
Without saying a word, JLA walks over to where Balls Nasty is struggling to get to his feet.
Monroe: “Here you go, sir!” What a wimp!
Marcum: You would have done the same thing!
As Nasty gets to his feet, he is greeted with a vicious chair shot…
Marcum: Damn!
Nasty falls to the arena floor, and JLA stands over him…
Monroe: I think he wants to go for it again!
Monroe is correct. As Nasty gets to his feet, he is hit over the head with a steel chair for the second time.
JLA then places the folded chair under his opponent’s head, and walks over to the announcer’s table for a second time. This time he approaches Monroe, and again simply says one word: “Chair”
Mike “The Mouth” Monroe quickly gets to his feet, folds his chair, and hands it to MisterJLA.
Monroe: Here you go, sir!
Marcum: Ha. I told you so.
JLA walks over to where Nasty is lying, and holds the chair high above his head. Moments later, he brings it crashing down on Nasty’s face.
Marcum: Nasty’s face just got sandwiched in-between two chairs! He’s now busted open!
As Balls Nasty rolls around in pain, JLA points to Lothar and says “Count”. Lothar counts to four, but Nasty gets to his feet. JLA then tries to hit Nasty in the head again with the chair, but Nasty catches it on the way down, kicks JLA in the stomach, and hits him with the The Camero Cut, the very move used to win the DCMB Title.
Nasty then carries JLA over to the announcer’s table, and places him on top. Fearing the worst, Marcum and Monroe run for cover. After catching his breath, Nasty sends JLA through the table with “The Tavernsmasher” his version of the Death Valley Driver. Nasty then points to Lothar and says “Count”
Lothar counts to four, until JLA is standing on both feet. A frustrated Balls Nasty then takes a cable from one of the cameras, and begins to choke JLA with it. JLA fights his way free, but Nasty stays on the attack by Irish whipping him into the barricade, and then following up by picking up the challenger and dropping his neck across the barricade.
Next, Nasty sets up for a DDT, but as he tries to drill JLA’s head into the outside floor, JLA grabs the barricade, and Nasty sends himself crashing to the floor. JLA follows with an Irish whip to the ring post, and Nasty hits it full-speed. Seeing that his enemy is propped up against the post, JLA grabs a chair, and smashes his enemy across the face with it, sending blood flying. The Champion starts to crawl away, while digging in his tights for something…
JLA: Now’s not the time for that you perv!
He then drops the chair, and picks up Nasty by his hair…only to be greeted with a punch that sends blood spraying out of his nose! Nasty lets loose with a laugh, and holds up his hand…he is wearing a pair of brass knuckles! He then urges JLA to get up, and he measures him up for another punch. JLA does get up after a some time, and Nasty winds up for another punch with the knucks…but JLA ducks it, and connects with The Final Justice!
As he hits his finishing move, a loud “KLANK” sound is heard throughout the Cheesedome! Nasty then slumps to the arena floor!
Monroe: It appears that our audio is working for the moment, ladies and gentlemen! No chairs, and without a table, we’re going to try to finish this play-by-play! What kind of a weird sound was that, Madman?
Marcum: It sounded like metal hitting metal! That was strange! We know that Nasty wore a steel cup last match, so does that mean that JLA is wearing steel boots? If so, he just drove Nasty’s cup into his…you know…
With Nasty reeling in agony, JLA taps his boots that are lined with some sort of metal, laughs, and asks for a count from Lothar. Lothar counts to seven this time, before Nasty is up on both feet. Remembering that Nasty is wearing the brass knuckles, JLA shoves him to the ground, and then stomps on his hand!
Monroe: He could have just broken his hand! This guy is vengeful!
Nasty screams in pain, and quickly takes the brass knuckles off, and throws them into the crowd. JLA capitalizes on this distraction, and delivers another “Final Justice”…”KLANK”!
Lothar immediately begins his count, and while it looks like Nasty is finished, he barely gets to his feet at the count of nine. JLA goes for the kill, but walks right into a kick to the stomach: and for the second time, Nasty completes The Camero Cut: the Samoan Drop converted into a deadly stunner!
Realizing that it will take more to earn a ten count, Nasty rolls JLA into the ring, and then follows after him.
Monroe: The match has been going on for some time, but this is the first action that we’ll see in the ring.
Nasty then hits a belly-to belly suplex, followed by a powerful superplex off the top rope!
Marcum: That superplex appears to have hurt Nasty as much as JLA! I bet he regrets doing that!
Nasty gets to his feet, holding his back. He then rolls out of the ring, and looks under the ring apron. He soon finds what he was looking for: a table. He slides it under the bottom rope, but as he tries to re-enter the ring, JLA hits a third Final Justice! <Klank>
The bloodied JLA screams “That’s it!” and orders Lothar to count.
1..2…3…4…5…6…7
At the seven count, Nasty grabs the ring ropes, and attempts to pull himself up…
8…9…
Nasty, using the ropes for support, just beats the ten count. An enraged JLA picks up the table and tries to hit Nasty with it, but Nasty kicks the table into the challenger, stunning him.
Nasty then grabs JLA by the neck, causing him to drop the folded table, and then hits a second Tavernsmasher, barely missing the folded table.
Covered with his own blood and exhausted, Nasty slides the table out of the way. He then points to the top rope…
Marcum: I think he’s calling for it!
Nasty slowly makes his way to the top turnbuckle. He pauses, looks to the crowd, then looks at his fallen enemy. Next, he launches himself off the top rope, and drives his knee into JLA’s head.
Monroe: The Kentucky Falls! That has to be the end of the match!
But Nasty isn’t done. He grabs the table and unfolds it near the same corner he just dove from. He then places MisterJLA on top, and again climbs the turnbuckles…
Monroe: What could he possibly go for now?
Nasty gets to the top, and wastes no time in jumping off the top, and hitting JLA with a frog splash, breaking the table.
Marcum: The Flying Tea Bag Slam! Joe Mama must have taught him that! He drove JLA through the table, but Nasty is clutching his stomach! He hurt himself!
Both wrestlers are unconscious on top of the broken table. A confused Lothar begins to count…
1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10!
Monroe: What?!? We can’t have a draw!
Lothar motions toward announcer James White, and says something to him. White makes the announcement:
White: Ladies and gentlemen, Lothar has counted to ten for both men. However, since this is a Championship bout, whoever gets to both feet first is the winner, and Champion!
The crowd cheers wildly, and Lothar stands in the middle of the ring, waiting for one man to climb to his feet.
MisterJLA slowly crawls to one side of the ring, with Balls Nasty crawling toward the opposite side.
Monroe: These guys have had it! They know they will have to use the ropes are leverage to pull themselves up!
Marcum: I hate to admit it, but you’re right! They could never get to their feet on their own power!
With both wrestlers on an opposite side of the ring, the tension mounts. JLA grabs a hold of the second rope, and tries to pull himself up. Nasty does the same. However, JLA slips off the rope and falls to the canvas, while Nasty maintains his hold.
Monroe: JLA just fell to the canvas! He’ll have to start all over again! Meanwhile, Nasty is almost there!
JLA begins to crawl back to the middle of the ring, where Lothar is standing. JLA sees that Nasty is almost to his feet. JLA then grabs a hold of Lothar’s referee shirt, spinning him around.
Monroe: Look at him! He’s trying to pull himself up by Lothar’s shirt! He’s trying to use him as support!
Marcum: Brilliant!
Monroe: “Brilliant” my foot! The referee is there to make the call, not to be used as leverage!
JLA continues to try to pull himself to his feet using Lothar as an anchor, and Lothar continues to try to break free from JLA’s grasp. As this is going on…
Monroe: He did it! Nasty finally pulled himself off his ass, and is standing on both feet! Nasty retains the title!
Marcum: Not so fast! Lothar’s back is turned as he is still tying to breakaway from the challenger! He hasn’t noticed that Nasty is on his feet!
Monroe: This match should be over!
Marcum: But it isn’t!
After a few more moments of JLA and Lothar struggling, Nasty falls to the canvas.
Monroe: He blacked out again!
Lothar finally pries JLA’s hands off his referee’s shirt, and JLA is sent to the mat again. Lothar turns around and see Nasty on the canvas.
Monroe: He missed it!
JLA crawls over to where Nasty is, and rolls him out of the ring. Moments later, he latches onto the second rope, and pulls himself to both feet. Lothar calls for the bell…
White: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this special Last Man Standing match…and NEW DCMB World Heavyweight Champion: MisterJLA!
Lothar hands JLA the DCMB Title, and when he sees the ad placed over the centerpiece, he looks down at it with disgust.
JLA then motions to James White, who hands JLA the mic.
JLA: Nasty: get in here! I’ve got something to say to you!
Balls Nasty gets to his feet, and enters the ring.
JLA: You gave me one Hell of a match. I still think you’re a piece of trash…but I have to get credit where credit is due. Here.
JLA extends his hand.
After looking around at the crowd who are chanting “No!”, Nasty shakes JLA’s hand, and heads for the locker room.
JLA: Not so fast.
Monroe: Oh no! He never should have trusted JLA, and turned his back to him!
Nasty slowly and carefully turns around. MisterJLA surprises him, by handing him the DCMB Belt.
JLA: Here. A little token to remember our match by.
Nasty nods his head in appreciation.
JLA: Oh yeah, I’ve got one more thing to remember our match by…
<KLANK>
Monroe: I don’t believe him! Another Final Justice! What a creep!
The crowd boos JLA loudly.
JLA: Did you think I’d want that belt after what you did to it? And did you really think I’d want to be your pal? Dumbass!
I already placed the order: next week, a new DCMB Belt will be here! And I’m going to show these people what a real championship, and a real champion, is supposed to look like!
Hit the music!
Rob’s Killer Instinct Rip-Off Theme Music plays, and JLA staggers back down the aisle...
