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300+ posts
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Monroe: After the success of last week's RDCW/RDLL event, Havoc gets right back to the business at hand!
Marcum: And that business tonight includes the conclusion of round one of the MOD Tournament that will eventually decide the number one contender for SummerScam!
Monroe: Add to that the intergender tag match of PenWing and Meeko versus Joe Mama and Sneaky Bunny!
Marcum: This could be a preview to SummerScam!
Monroe: And Lor takes on Terri Savitz in singles competition!
Marcum: I knew she couldn't be trusted! How long before she gets banned from the Cheesedome?
Monroe: Plus, the Dark Lords take on the Hogs of War!
Marcum: But that pales in comparison to the main event!
Monroe: That's right, because it's the return of the Aussie Scumbags for what might be more than a one-time reunion!
Marcum: One-time reunion? Have you forgotten their disasterous attempt at reuniting for the Fear and Loathing Memorial Tournament? The Allied Powers will have it easy tonight!
Monroe: However you look at it, it's a can't miss match! Don't go anywhere, folks! The Havoc starts now!
Tommy Savitz (28%, 7 Votes)
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Stupid Doog (72%, 18 Votes)
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Hogs of War (16%, 4 Votes)
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Dark Lords (84%, 21 Votes)
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El Superbeasto (52%, 13 Votes)
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Senior Perdicion (48%, 12 Votes)
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Lor (64%, 16 Votes)
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Terri Savitz (36%, 9 Votes)
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Nowhereman (73%, 19 Votes)
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Rex (27%, 7 Votes)
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PenWing / Meeko (42%, 11 Votes)
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Joe Mama / Sneaky Bunny (58%, 15 Votes)
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King Snarf (58%, 15 Votes)
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Bibbo (42%, 11 Votes)
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Allied Powers (58%, 15 Votes)
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Aussie Scumbags (42%, 11 Votes)
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,506 Likes: 64
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,506 Likes: 64 |
Rob’s Killer Instinct Rip-Off Theme Music plays, and the lights dim. Captain Howdy is the first to emerge from behind the Cheesedome curtain, followed closely by The Allied Powers’ loyal butler Jeeves, who is carrying both RDCW World Tag Team Titles, and rookie sensation harelykwin. They make their way to the ring, and MisterJLA trails far behind. His mid-section is taped up, and a bandage covers his nose. He appears to be in pain.
Finally all of the Powers are in the ring. Jeeves pulls a microphone out his coat, and hands it to JLA. The music stops, and a hush falls over the crowd.
JLA: I got my ass kicked last week.
Monroe: He’s being very honest! That’s a first!
JLA: That’s right, I admit it. I was put through two tables, I was nearly choked to death, I was dropped on a barricade, got hit my with own belt, took a Camero Cut, so on and so on. I got the living Hell beat out of me. Balls Nasty hit me with everything he had, and I’m still feeling it.
Monroe: This approach by JLA is very refreshing!
JLA: And you know what…it wasn’t enough to keep me down! Here I stand, the two-time, two-time, two-time DCMB Champion!
Monroe: Well, back to normal!
Marcum: Good!
JLA: I was thinking of having a nice party here in the ring. A party just like the one we had when we won the Tag Team Gold. But to be frank, I’m in no condition to party. I had the balloons ordered, Jeeves had the limo washed and ready to roll, the laser lights were working, but I’m too damn tired to party. But I’m not too tired to show everyone the one and only World Championship.
When people look to me, they have to look up, since I sit atop the wrestling world. And if you want to see my new belt, once again…all you have to do is look up!
MisterJLA points toward the Cheesedome rafters. Over the center of the ring, a belt tied to a cord is slowly lowered into the ring. It stops right above JLA’s reach. He unfastens the belt, and holds it in front of the camera:
A real championship, for a real champion. The short-lived and forgettable reign of Balls nasty is over. His one title defense, much like the rest of his life, was a disaster.
When I think of title defenses and championship victories, I think of: me!
In my very first DCMB title defense here, I crushed The Hulk. The very next week, URG am got his ass am kicked am via The Final am Justice. Pig Iron was my next bitch. Chris Oakley put up a Hell of a fight, but I showed the RDCW the difference between someone good like Oakley, and a legend like me. And then finally, last week in a Last Man Standing match that will be talked about for years to come, I returned the DCMB Title to where is belongs.
And now that I think about, I could do it all again VERY easily. If the RDCW lined up those chumps again, I would knock them down, one by…
JLA looks shocked as his eyes lock onto the Cheesedome curtain. He cannot speak.
Monroe: Is that who I think it is?
Marcum: I’m afraid so! It’s…it’s…The Hulk!
The Hulk: HULK WANT NOTHER MATCH TO SMASH PUNY JLA! JLA TALK SMACK BOUT HULK NOW HULK WANT TO SMACK JLA! HULK NOT LIKE DCMB BELT! HULK WORK FOR MARVEL! HULK JUST WANT TO KICK JLA ASS!
JLA:…
Monroe: JLA looks like he’s going to wet himself! And in case you’re wondering at home, the Cheesedome is shaking from The Hulk’s words, and he doesn’t even have a mic!
Marcum: Shut it! Look at the entrance now!
As the camera pans to the entrance way, it is revealed that caveman URG is standing next to The Hulk, armed with a mic! The Hulk just scratches his head…
URG: JLA am big ass. URG want to take nice looking DCMB Belt. URG used to be Porn and Lightweight Champ. DCMB Belt am look good on URG’s belly! JLA am get ready for Caveman Crunch!
JLA: Listen guys, as you can see, I’m in no condition to wrestle, but if you’d like to wait, say, 60-80 years, maybe then I’ll give you a rematch. You two had your chance, so feel free to kiss-my-
A familiar voice is heard over the speakers…
“The Hulk and URG? Please. I know the people want to see JLA tap out like a little girl, and I’m the one who can do that. You called me by name, and here I am.”
Monroe: I think that’s: yes, it is! It’s Pig Iron!
Pig Iron walks out from behind the Cheesedome curtain, mic in hand.
Pig Iron: You jumped Ghost Hog and I awhile back JLA, and I haven’t forgotten it. You may have gotten lucky and defeated me once, but I want my rematch. You said you can beat me again, so let’s see it. I want that Championship, and I’ll make you tap in the Hoglock to get it, you little bsams wannabe spammer!
JLA: My first three bitches all lined up to say hello. How nice. But like I said, I’m really not in the mood right now. But if the three of you would to like to go f…
"Rooster" erupts from the Cheesedome PA speakers and Chris Oakley walks to the middle of the aisle, flanked by Mario Barini ,Ian Bond, and Hombre Lagarto. Mic in hand,the former XPW world heavyweight champion looks up at MisterJLA and starts to talk.
Oakley: So, JLA, I hear you've been running your mouth off about me...(mixed pops and boos from the crowd) Well, I figure it's time somebody shut that mouth but good! So right now, I'm challenging you to take me on in a match next week! (Huge pops from the crowd) And just to make things REALLY interesting, why don't we put your DCMB title on the line?!!
JLA: How many microphones are tuned into the PA? Oakley, Pig Iron, Urg! Anyone else want to pick up a mic and challenge me?
Just then, “Bad Company” booms over the PA. Balls Nasty quickly emerges. And of course, he has his own mic.
JLA: I had to ask.
Nasty: I know the rest of you want to kick JLA around, but you are all going to have to wait. I was the first, and ONLY person to beat him and take that meaningless title, and I want to do it again. When I’m done punishing him for the shit he pulled in our Last Man Standing match, all of you can have what’s left of him. If there’s anything left, that is. JLA: I want more than a victory, and more than that piece of leather to sell for ads: I want your career!
JLA: Well, guys, since all of you want a piece of me so badly, why don’t you fight amongst yourselves to decide who gets the honor of facing me first. The rest of The Powers and I will just sit back and watch. Go ahead. Beat the piss out of each other, and I’ll face whoever’s left.
Oakley: I’ve got a better idea…and it’s called: “The Elimination Chamber!”
The crowd goes wild!
JLA: Uh…listen, Oakley. That’s a nice idea and all, but I’ve seen one of those before, and if you think I’m getting in an Elimination Chamber with you thugs…
The crowd begins to chant: “Chamber! Chamber!” JLA looks around nervously…
JLA: ALRIGHT! I’ll do it!
Captain Howdy and harleykwin plead with JLA to reconsider, but he shrugs them off.
JLA: Because next week is WarGasms, my first RDCW Pay-Per-View, I agree to your terms. And let me say this: I’m sure all of you will want to be in perfect health for the match. I’m confident that no one is looking for an edge over the others. Right Nasty? You wouldn’t want to see Oakley injure himself tonight, because that would make your time in the Chamber that much easier. On second thought, maybe you would like to see that. And Pig Iron. I know you want to make me tap out in the HogLock. But what if URG pins you first? But if you injured him before the match, that couldn't happen...
The five wrestlers eye each other with suspicion. As they slowly make their way toward the locker room, Chris Oakley accidentally bumps into The Hulk. The Hulk then pushes Oakley into URG, and soon, all Hell breaks loose. The five wrestlers battle each other into the backstage area, where security tries to separate them.
MisterJLA sees this, smiles, and whispers to Captain Howdy.
JLA: You see that, Howdy? Divide and conquer. The five of them will be so exhausted from trying to kill each other, I’ll eliminate them all in record time.
Howdy shakes his head in agreement.
JLA: Cameraman! Put that damn camera on me! No one wants to see those clods fighting in the back! Here I have something very interesting! A letter from one of my many, many fans!
Jeeves pulls an envelope out of his jacket.
JLA: This letter is from a Mrs. Mandral. Dear Son, your father and I are so proud of you, and think you’re the best wrestler in the world!
JLA catches himself, and looks embarrassed.
Monroe: He’s reading a letter from his mom?
Marcum: I think he just read it wrong!
JLA: OOPS! I misread that. Let me try again:
“Dear MisterJLA. My husband and I have been watching Rob’s Damn Championship Wrestling since it’s inception, and we cannot remember a more dominant, and awe-inspiring tag team than The Allied Powers. When reflecting on great teams, we naturally compared The Powers to all of the former Donkey Lovin’ Tag Champions, and we think you could defeat them all! You and Captain Howdy are the greatest Champions ever. We’d love to see you wrestle all of the legendary tag teams, to prove your greatness all over again!
Hugs and kisses.”
Uh…Sally Smith.
JLA: Sally, that was a terrific letter, and a similar to much of the fan mail The Powers receive. Our mailman nearly broke his back trying to deliver our fan mail over the months that we’ve been knocking tag teams off.
And Sally, that’s a terrific idea! I’d love for Howdy and I to face some of the “all-time greats” in the Tag division, but unfortunately, many of those teams have disbanded. Some of the teams claim to be old and injured, but truth be told, all of them are no longer competing because they know: we would kick their punk asses!
The crowd boos!
Monroe: He’s just making this up!
JLA: To prove my point, let me issue a challenge: if there are any former Championship teams in the building, come on down, and get another crack at the titles!
After a second or two…
JLA: There you have it: none of the former championship teams want to face…
Just then, The Australian National Anthem plays.
Monroe: Could it be? Yes! Amazing! There they are! The Aussie Scumbags are back together!
Marcum: But they hate each other!
First Amongst Daves: MisterJLA: if there’s one thing I hate more than Fucktard Danny, it’s a braggart!
JLA: Hey! I never even looked at another guy!
First Amongst Daves: I said braggart! Idiot! I heard, we ALL heard your rantings in the back, and you managed to severely agitate Danny and I! Tonight we are willing to put our differences aside, and reunite The Aussie Scumbags!
The crowd goes ballistic!
JLA: Tonight? Who said anything about Howdy and I wrestling tonight? Look at the shape I’m in!
First Amongst Daves: You should try Yoga, that’s what I do, and I’ve never been slimmer!
JLA: I’m mean I’m hurt! I just competed in a Last Man Standing match last week, and I’m beat!
First Amongst Daves: You issued an open challenge. Legally speaking, your comments constitute a valid agreement, between the parties of the first part, and…
JLA: Enough with the lawyer talk! Fine, tonight it will be The Allied Powers vs The Aussie Scumbags for the World Tag Team Championship! But fellas: I hope neither of you forget what happened at The Fear and Loathing Memorial Tournament! Now go get ready!
Danny and Dave look at each other with hate in their eyes.
Monroe: JLA had to bring that up! That’s when the Scumbags parted ways!
Marcum: What a strategist!
Monroe: So there you have it! Tonight: The Champion Allied Powers vs former Tag Champs The Aussie Scumbags! And at our next Pay Per View, WarGasms: MisterJLA defends the DCMB Championship in the Elimination Chamber against the wrestlers he defended against, or in the case of Balls Nasty, defeated to win the title for a second time!
Marcum: JLA’s first five victims! WarGasms should be the greatest Pay Per View in the history of the universe!
Monroe: Until the Pay Per View after that, I’m sure!
<ad!>
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,000
5000+ posts
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5000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,000 |
*The Crotch is standing backstage with Meeko and PenWing. PenWing has the Big Cheese Belt draped over his shoulder, and the plate that says "Sudden Death 6" is covered.*Crotch: I'm standing backstage with Meeko and the RDCW Heavyweight Cheese Champion, PenWing. Tonight, both of you are tagging together against Women's Boobie Belt Champion Sneaky Bunny and Euro-Cunt-Inental Champion Joe Mama. With WarGasms just a few days away, I have to ask the two of you if you've completely lost your minds? Meeko: Lost our minds? Crotch: That's right. Have you lost your minds? I mean, let's look at the record here. Meeko, it's been ages since you've been able to defeat Sneaky Bunny in a match. And PenWing, sure, you've got the Big Cheese Belt, but the one superstar you have yet to face in singles competition is Joe Mama. You've both got huge matches at WarGasms, so I gotta question your sanity in stepping into the ring with the Bastardo Bunny and the Family Enforcer just days before WarGasms? *Meeko is about to answer, but PenWing puts his hand on her shoulder and she stops. She looks up to see PenWing smiling.*PenWing: You want to talk about sanity, Crotch? Two weeks ago, I put this title on the line in the first ever Cell from Hell. I did it against a wrestler who should not have gotten a title shot. I was not required in any way to defend this title until SummerScam. But, of my own free will, I not only challenged Oakers to the match, against The Doctor's wishes, I also beat the living hell out of him. And why did I do it? Because the fans demanded it! The fans don't want a champion who competes in crap matches. The fans want a champion who will put it all on the line, all the time! But, you wanna know the biggest reason why I wanted the Cell from Hell? I wanted that match to send a message to every wreslter in this company, particularly in the Family Business locker room. This champ doesn't cower away from a fight. Not from the guys on top, and not from the guys on the bottom. Crotch: Speaking of fights, Meeko how do explain Lor's actions last week? You recruited her as an ally, and instead she has turned into what can only be described as an enemy. I've done some research on Lor, and what I came up with tells me that she can only be described as the most dangerous loose cannon in the business. What were you thinking bringing her here? *Now, it's Meeko's turn to smile.*Meeko: Crotch, sometimes, when things start to get dull, you have to take a chance, maybe shake things up a little. So, I went out and scouted every promotion looking for someone that could shake things up. I didn't even know Lor was still wrestling, but when I found out, I knew I had to bring her here. I knew there was a risk. I knew she wouldn't commit to any faction or manager. There's a reason she called the " Real Harlequin." She's highly unpredictable, and as you saw last week, she knows no mercy. The fact is, bringing Lor here was guaranteed to backfire on me and our faction. But the rewards far outway the consequences. *The Crotch looks puzzled.*Crotch: The rewards? What possible rewards could come from having Lor running around the Cheesedome? Meeko: Crotch, did you not hear what Lor had to say last week? She wants the Boobie Belt. Now, I don't have the Boobie Belt. Terri doesn't have the Boobie Belt. Nuriko, when she returns (pops from crowd), will not be returning with the Boobie Belt. And why? Because that little Bastardo Bunny has the Boobie Belt. So, you see, Crotch, while we may have to take some bumps and bruises, we are not Lor's target. Sneaky Bunny is. Crotch: Um...okay then. I only have one more thing to ask. Why is the SD-6 plate covered on the Big Cheese Belt? PenWing: You'll have to wait till later to find that out. *Meeko point's to Crotch's hair.*Meeko: Crotch, is that a bald spot I'm seeing? Crotch: What?*The Crotch runs his hand over his head and a look of shock comes over his face.*Crotch: We've gotta go to break! *The Crotch drops the mic and races down the hall with his hands covering his head. Meeko picks up the mic.*Meeko: Before we cut to commercial, we have an announcement. As you know, ever since I recruited the Savitz's, the Sudden Death 6 have actually had eight members. So, tonight, we are officially rectifying this problem. SD-6 is no more. You can now call us, the SDC. *Meeko rips off the tape that was covering the plate on the belt to reveal-*  Meeko: The Sudden Death Connection! PenWing: But don't think for a second that this changes a thing, because...anytime, anwhere, (the crowd joins in) SUDDEN DEATH RULES! Marcum: Does this mean they can actually recruit more wrestlers to their group?
Monroe: Buhgawb, I beleive it does, Madman!
Marcum: Someone's got to put a stop to this! And I think I know just the man for the job!
Monroe: Stay tuned, folks! The night has barely begun! We'll be right back!
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009
Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
We come back from commercial to see Madman Marcum standing in the ring. He has a microphone in hand as he addresses the crowd.MM: Ladies and Gentlemen - and I use those terms VERY loosely: I give you the man who's gonna put a stop to PenWing and the rest of SD-whatever: Accompanied to the ring by his tag team partner, Sneaky Bunny, JOE MAMA!!!"Faded" blasts over the speakers and Joe Mama walks down the ramp to the ring. Strangely, given the introduction, he is alone. He stops at the announcer's table and takes a microphone, giving Monroe a vaguely annoyed glare. Joe Mama enters the ring, shakes Marcum's hand, and the interview begins.MM: First off, Champ, I gotta ask: where's Sneaky Bunny? I was hoping to bet both your opinions about the match tonight... JM: Sneaky Bunny was late getting to the CheeseDome tonight, Marcum. She's currently discussing match strategy with Louie and Grace. MM: She was late? Is everything okay? Did Lor...? JM: Lor had nothing to do with anything. But, since you mentioned her, let me say something to the RDCW's latest addition. Lor, you've stuck your nose in where it didn't belong. Twice, you've interefered in Family business and twice, you've attacked Sneaky Bunny from behind. Believe me when I tell you that you WILL be dealt with! At Wargasms, Sneaky Bunny is walking in the Champion, and she'll walk out the same way! And YOU, Lor...well, I don't think you're gonna like what she has in store for you... MM: Lor was brought into the RDCW by Meeko. Any thoughts about that? JM: I heard the comments from Meeko and PenWing earlier. Meeko thought she found a new ally in her botched pweudo-war against the Bastardo Family? Well, I guess we see what GREAT judge of talent Meeko is! How's that "alliance" working out for you, Meeko? Is Terri alright? Are you ever gonna get it in your head that you lack the skill yourself and the abilities in general to take out the Family? You say you "knew" your plan was gonna backfire - I think we all know that you were hoping against hope that it WOULDN'T. That you'd find a new FRIEND to join your little social club. Good job, you failure!   MM: You heard both Meeko's AND PenWing's comments. What do want to say about PenWing and your match tonight? JM: Y'know, Marcum, it's kinda funny. Back when this new Family was discussing possible expansion we threw out a ton of names, both on the RDCW roster and in other promotions. And the name that kept coming up was PenWing's. He and I are so similar in our wrestling styles, weapons of choice, and career paths that we could be mirror images of each other. Imagine a Bastardo Family with King Snarf, Sneaky Bunny, Joe Mama, and PenWing! You just might as well call this promotion the BFCW!!! PenWing, I've never faced you in a match. But I've seen you enough and watched your career enough to know that you're a solid competitor. You're the Heavyweight Cheese Champion, and I take nothing away from you. You earned it. You won it clean. Congratulations. But you have three things that work against you. One, you care too much about "friendship" to effectively compete. It's the same weakness that your manager and friend, Meeko, possess. Neither of you could ever imagine that your "friends" would want a title shot or what they'd be willing to do to get that title shot. You surround yourself with your buddies - Bastardo Family cast-offs, if you remember - and put up blinders that prevent you from seeing that this is a BUSINESS! A business of CHAMPIONSHIPS! You have the biggest one in the business, PenWing. At some point you better take a long look at your "friends", because they're sure as hell taking a long look at you! Two - you care way too much about these fans! (Boos from the crowd) You worry too much about what they think and what they want. You're a former Hardcore Porn Champion, PenWing, so you know how far you have to go to win a match. But that belt has made you think that you have a standard to uphold, and these fans have you believing that you can only go so far to win the match. And that'll kill you when you face off against Grimm. Against Nowhereman. Captain Howdy. JOE MAMA! If you're not willing to go AT LEAST as far as your opponent is...well, I wouldn't get too attached to that title. MM: And, after seeing your last match against Captain Sammitch, and your match with Captain Howdy, we know how far the Bastardo Family Enforcer - the Euro-Cunt-Inental Champion - is willing to go to keep and win the gold!!! JM: And three, PenWing: The very title you hold works against you. You hold the highest honor in this promotion, And I WANT IT!!! Tonight, you and I face off in an Intergender Tag Team Match. There's nothing on the line for you. Nothing at stake. But, for me, this match is just as important as any match I've been in. I want that title, PenWing, and if I have to kick your ass in every tag team or novelty match imaginable to finally get my shot at it, you can damn well be sure that I'll do it! Tonight, you better be willing to do whatever it takes to win, PenWing! Because I swear to you that I am! That you and I are going to face off for the Heavyweight Cheese Title is inevitable! And that road to inevitability starts TONIGHT!!! Joe Mama slams the microphone down onto the mat as "Faded" starts. He leaves the ring and walks back to the locker room... MM: Strong words from the Euro-Cunt-Inental Champion! I hope PenWing heard 'em! He's got a HELL of a fight on his hands tonight!!! Back to you, Monroe...
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Camera cuts back to Mike "the Mouth" Monroe;Monroe is joined at ringside by Chris Oakley,who is wearing camouflage pants and a "Wargasm" T-shirt.
MONROE: Okay,Marcum,I'm joined right now at ringside by former RDCW IC and Hardcore champion and XPW World champion Chris Oakley,who's here to talk about his Elimination Chamber match for Mr.JLA's DCMB World Heavyweight Title at Wargasm. Chris,are you sure you want to take on something as brutal as the elimination chamber match after your grueling tag team bout with Hombre Lagarto at Worlds in Collision?
CHRIS: DAMN sure. I'm doing this for the same reason I battled Darien Irons,faced Joke Mama in the Fenway Park Street Fight,and went toe to toe with PenWing in that Cell from Hell bout--because I want to prove without a doubt in anyone's mind that I am not only still a bona fide main eventer, but also that I'm legitemate championship mater--
Chris' commentary is abruptly interrupted as The Killer,wearing his trademark black mask and carrying a steel chair,suddenly bursts out of the crowd and blindsides Oakley with a shot to the back. As the dazed former XPW World Heavyweight champion tries to stagger to his feet,the Killer grabs him and powerbombs him through the broadcast table. Ian Bond and Los Monstros Azules emerge from the locker room just in time to see the masked thug disappear into the crowd and skulk out of the Cheesedome. As fans watch in shocked silence,promoters,security officials,and EMTs help Chris back to the locker room.
MONROE: Folks,this is an absolutely shocking development...just one week away rom his epic elimination chamber bout for MisterJLA's DCMB title,Chris Oakley has been suddenly,completely,and brutally backjumped by the enigmatically sinister newcomer known only as the Killer. Is the Bond Brigade Brawler being threatened by a new enemy, or has one of Chris' previous adversaries adopted a new disguise to continue their efforts to take him down? Madman Marcum and I will investigate this mystery and bring you any new information we can find as it becomes available.
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300+ posts
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MOD Pool Match D #1: Tommy Savitz versus Stupid Doog
The opening match of this week’s Havoc saw SDC take on The Family Business. Both competitors gave 100% in hopes of facing off for the chance to compete for a Heavyweight Cheese Title shot. But it was Stupid Doog’s brutal brawling that gave him the advantage. After giving Tommy Savitz Rabies several times, Stupid Doog locked him in the Doog House to get the submission and move on in the tournament.
Hogs of War versus Dark Lords
This match ended almost as soon as it began as the Dark Lords showed no mercy on the Hogs of War. Grimm and Darth used a double blitzkrieg attack, battering them with fists and then hitting them with double chokeslams. After Darth threw Ghost Hog out of the ring and into the crowd, the Dark Lords sent Pig Iron Straight to Hell.
MOD Pool Match D #2: El Superbeasto versus Senor Perdicion
Sir Ian Bond had a sound strategy: distract the referee while Senor Perdicion and El Daga double-teamed the giant Luchador in hopes of stealing a win and a spot in the MOD tournament. Unfortunately, Los Monstros Azules underestimated their opponent’s strength, stamina, and temper. A miscue opened up the opportunity for El Superbeasto to hit two Giant Chokeslams, roll El Daga out of the ring, and pin Senor Perdicion. After the match ended, the giant Luchador battered his fallen foe until Perdicion’s teammates were able to pull him out of the ring.
Lor vs. Terri Savitz
Terri tried to take control early with a series of highflying aerial moves, but Lor was able to easily match her pace. Terri did manage to almost lock in the Cardiac Arrest, but Lor was able to break the hold and execute Punch & Judy. With Terri out on the mat, Lor locked in Harlequinaid for the win.
MOD Pool Match D #3: Nowhereman vs. Rex
After a failed T-rex on Nowhereman, the cunt fu master was able to take control of the match, eventually locking Rex in the Crippler Cuntface.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Inter-Gender Tag Match: Joe Mama & Sneaky Bunny versus PenWing & Meeko
The Bastardo Family representatives came to the ring as “Ecstasy Of Gold” played, accompanied by Grace. They entered the ring and seemed to confer over last-minute strategy. Finally, seemingly satisfied, Grace left the ring. Then “We Will Rock You” played, and PenWing and Meeko came to the ring, as they entered, Grace left the ring area. The two teams jawed at each other a little, but quickly went to their corners and the bell rang.
The match started with PenWing and Joe Mama locking up. Neither man was able to get an advantage over the other, so they broke the lock-up. The two champions circled each other, sizing each other up…looking for a weakness or any opening. The tension was broken as both Sneaky Bunny and Meeko shouted to their teammates to tag them in. PenWing and Joe Mama stared at each other for a moment before both shrugged, walked over, and reached out a hand to tag in their partners. They women had barely tagged in before they rushed in at each other and started brawling.
Monroe: Looks like the ladies wanna start this match more than the men do…
Madman: CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!!!
Meeko and Sneaky Bunny traded punches and kicks in the center of the ring. Meeko was able to get a headlock on Sneaky Bunny, but she was able to break it and send Meeko into the ropes, then hit a drop kick. Meeko fell to the mat and Sneaky Bunny went for a quick cover, but Meeko was able to kick out. Sneaky Bunny tried to keep the advantage, but was quickly a victim of Meeko’s Suplex School. After several different MeekoPlexes Sneaky Bunny was covered, but quickly kicked out. As Meeko pulled Sneaky Bunny to her feet the Women’s Champion hit her with a closed-fist uppercut, stopping Meekoin her tracks, and then executed a Stunner.
Madman: A great move by the Women’s Champion!!!
Monroe: Lor ain’t gonna like seeing her finisher used…
Sneaky Bunny pushed the advantage, pummeling Meeko with punches and chops. Slowly wearing her down. Meeko managed to get several solid shots in on Sneaky Bunny, but the Bastardo Bunny would not be stopped. PenWing started am audience chant for Meeko to psyche her up, but Joe Mama responded by calling out to Sneaky Bunny, catching her attention, and giving the “thumbs down” gesture. Sneaky Bunny nodded, picked Meeko up with a Fireman’s Carry, and executed the Midwest Hammer (her version of Joe Mama’s finisher without the gorilla press).
Madman: This match is just about over, Monroe!
Monroe: Marcum! Look who’s coming to the ring!!!
PenWing tried to rush in to make the save for his teammate, but the ref held him back and forced him back to his corner. The distraction was enough for Sneaky Bunny to hit Taxidermy without any problem. The ref turned and started to go for the three count. And that’s when all Hell broke loose.
PenWing tried to rush in and save Meeko, but MisterJLA Pull him down to the floor and hit Final Justice. At the same time, Captain Howdy did the same thing to Joe Mama. As the ref counted three, awarding the match to Joe Mama and Sneaky Bunny, Harleykwin slid into the ring and started pounding on Sneaky Bunny. As MisterJLA and Captain Howdy continued their assault on PenWing and Joe Mama, Harleykwin tossed Meeko out of the ring and turned to focus on Sneaky Bunny.
But Harleykwin didn’t work on the Women’s Champion for long because Lor rushed to the ring and hit her with Punch & Judy. Then Lor tossed Harleykwin out of the ring, turned, and locked in La Pagliaccia on Sneaky Bunny. The Allied Powers carried a dazed Harleykwin back to the locker room as security rushed in the break Lor’s hold. As Lor was dragged out of the ring and to the back by security, Joe Mama went in to check on Sneaky Bunny and PenWing did the same with Meeko.
Monroe: I have a feeling that this is far from over. For the Allied Powers, SDC, and the Family. And definitely for the women of the RDCW!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
MOD Pool D Match #4: King Snarf vs. Bibbo Bibbo tried to brawl his way to victory, but King Snarf would have nothing of it. Using the brawler's size and momentum, Snarf ran him into the ropes and nailed him with a drop kick. After hitting a flawless Wildsault, Snarf was about to go for the pin. However, he chose instead to put Bibbo in the Headlock, and would not let go, even after the bell, as he screamed about once again taking the Big Cheese Belt into his hands, and how no one would ever be able to take it away again!
RDCW World Tag Team Championship: Allied Powers versus Aussie Scumbags
Monroe: Here we go, folks: Main Event Time! The Australian National Anthem plays, and the Aussie Scumbags make their way down the aisle. Monroe: There they are, the Scumbags from Australia. The second team to ever wear RDCW Tag Team gold.
Marcum: But the Donkey Lovin’ Titles don’t even exist anymore! The Powers saw to that! The Aussie Scumbags enter the ring, look out at the crowd, and each other. It’s obvious they still don’t trust each other. Next, Rob’s Damn Killer Instinct Rip-Off Theme Music plays, and the Champion Allied Powers are led to the ring by Jeeves, the Powers’ loyal butler. MisterJLA has the DCMB Championship thrown over his shoulder, his Tag Team title fastened around his waist, and an American flag in his right hand. Captain Howdy has his Tag Title around his waist, a Union Jack flag in his left hand, with his right arm held high above his head, middle finger extended.
Marcum: Howdy’s letting the people know what he thinks of them: nothing wrong with that!
Ring Announcer James White: This is the Main Event, one fall, for the World Tag Team Championships! First, the challengers: both from Australia, Danny, and First Amongst Dark Typhoid Daves, former Donkey Lovin’ Tag Champions, The Aussie Scumbags! The crowd responds with indifference. White: And their opponents, along with their butler, Jeeves: from the United States, DCMB Champion, MisterJLA! And from Great Britain, Captain Howdy! Together, they are the undefeated, undisputed Tag Team Champions of the World, The Allied Powers! The Powers receive a healthy mix of boos and cheers. The bell sounds, and we’re off! Captain Howdy starts off against First Amongst Typhoid Daves, and the two lock up in the center of the ring. Howdy gets the early advantage, by placing Dave in a headlock, and then viciously punching Dave while keeping him in the headlock. Dave eventually turns the headlock into a back suplex, which stuns Howdy. Dave tries to pick up Howdy by his hair, but Howdy responds with a thumb to the eye, and a DDT. Howdy pours on the offense, by hitting Dave with punches in the corner, chops, and kicks. Marcum: Brutal! He’s really working Dave over in the corner!
Monroe: And he keeps breaking at the count of four! I must admit, that is smart to avoid the DQ like that. Next, Howdy shouts over to JLA “Give me a boot!” and JLA holds his boot on the top rope. The Captain then runs Dave’s head into JLA’s boot, busting him open! Howdy makes the tag, and as JLA enters the ring, Dave catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex, knocking the wind out of his opponent! Monroe: That move was out of desperation! Dave tries to crawl over to this corner to take in Danny. Jeeves sees this, and begins to slowly walk away from the Allied corner on the floor, toward the Scumbag corner where Danny is standing. Jeeves stops halfway there. Jeeves: PSST! Danny! Your mother looks like a kangaroo!
Danny: What the FUCK did you say? Danny jumps off the apron, and begins to walk over to where Jeeves is standing. Jeeves starts to backpedal, and as this is happening, Dave makes it to his corner.
Dave: Where in the world is my partner? I need a tag! DANNY! Get over here! But Danny is still stalking Jeeves, and while Dave looks around in dazed confusion, JLA grabs him by the hair, and shouts over to his corner: “Give me a boot!”
Howdy: Fucking gimp! You just got in there! You want out already? But Howdy rests his boot on the top rope, and JLA runs from the Scumbag corner to his own, and runs Dave’s bloody face into the Captain’s boot. JLA makes the quick tag, and holds Dave while Howdy punches him. At the count of four, JLA leaves the ring. Danny finally sees what is going on, and jumps back onto the ring apron in his corner, but it’s too late: Dave is in no position to make the tag. Howdy then begins a new assault on Dave, connecting with a clothesline, a gut buster, and a series of slams and suplexes. Howdy then tries to finish Dave with “The Twisted Buster”, his rendition of “The Twist of Fate”. Before he can though, Dave turns the tables against Howdy by picking him up, and hitting him with a spinebuster. Monroe: Another desperation move by Dave! He’s crawling over to his corner again, and he needs to make the tag! Jeeves once again sees this, and creeps near Dave’s corner.
Jeeves: PSST! Danny! Methinks you’re a mighty big fucktard! Danny is now enraged. He jumps off the apron, onto the floor near where Jeeves is standing. He runs at Jeeves as fast as he can, chasing him to the backstage area. Monroe: I can’t believe it! Danny just left the ring area!
Marcum: What a brilliant move by Jeeves! He tricked Danny into chasing him, now Dave has no one to tag in! Just as Marcum finishes his comments, Dave dives to his corner. He looks around confused, wondering where his partner is. Dave: Danny! You fucktard! Where are you? Dave stands in his corner, looking out toward the crowd. Meanwhile, a dazed Captain Howdy finally recovers from the spinebuster that he earlier took, and tags in MisterJLA. JLA slowly walks over to the Scumbag corner, where Dave has his back turned to him. He motions to Howdy, who distracts referee Lothar. JLA pulls Dave to the center of the ring, spins him around, and hits "The Final Justice".  Dave slumps to the canvas. MisterJLA then picks up Dave by the hair, and brings him to the Allied corner. A quick tag is made, and Captain Howdy climbs to the top rope, while MisterJLA places Dave on his shoulders. Howdy leaps off the top rope and hits Dave with a clothesline...  The "Allied Assault" hits Dave full force. JLA leaves the ring, while Howdy goes for the pin. 1…2…3 Rob’s Damn Killer Instinct Rip-Off Theme Music plays, and Lothar hands them their belts. Monroe: So much for the Aussie Scumbag reunion!
Marcum: That’s what makes the Allied Powers so great! They know how to work as a team! JLA takes the mic. JLA: Cut the music! Another win for the undefeated Powers! You know… Danny, and Dave here (JLA kicks the fallen Dave who is still on the mat) have a lot of talent. But talent can only take you so far. Sure, they held the Donkey Lovin’ belts for close to a month. Sure, they beat the first RDCW Donkey Lovin’ Champs. But things have changed! Just then, Danny runs back to the ring. He realizes what happened, and he appears to be shocked. The Powers back away, and watch Danny try to help Dave to his feet. As Dave gathers his senses, he angrily pushes Danny away. They exchange words, and soon the two begin to fight. The fight soon spills out of the ring, and the Scumbags continue to brawl all the way to the backstage area, slipping out of sight. During all of this, The Powers can be seen laughing in the background. JLA: As I was saying, The Allied Powers have taken over the Tag Team Division, and if ANY team wants to even have a chance against us, they must focus on the task at hand! Any team that focus on Jeeves, or the differences between them, or anything but myself and Howdy, that team will wind just like the Scumbags…finished! The Powers’ Theme Music hits again, and they walk out of the ring, with their belts held high…
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