RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Tuesday Night Havoc 07.26.05

We come back from commercial to see Madman Marcum standing in the ring. He has a microphone in hand as he addresses the crowd.

MM: Ladies and Gentlemen - and I use those terms VERY loosely: I give you the man who's gonna put a stop to PenWing and the rest of SD-whatever: Accompanied to the ring by his tag team partner, Sneaky Bunny, JOE MAMA!!!

"Faded" blasts over the speakers and Joe Mama walks down the ramp to the ring. Strangely, given the introduction, he is alone. He stops at the announcer's table and takes a microphone, giving Monroe a vaguely annoyed glare. Joe Mama enters the ring, shakes Marcum's hand, and the interview begins.

MM: First off, Champ, I gotta ask: where's Sneaky Bunny? I was hoping to bet both your opinions about the match tonight...

JM: Sneaky Bunny was late getting to the CheeseDome tonight, Marcum. She's currently discussing match strategy with Louie and Grace.

MM: She was late? Is everything okay? Did Lor...?

JM: Lor had nothing to do with anything. But, since you mentioned her, let me say something to the RDCW's latest addition. Lor, you've stuck your nose in where it didn't belong. Twice, you've interefered in Family business and twice, you've attacked Sneaky Bunny from behind. Believe me when I tell you that you WILL be dealt with! At Wargasms, Sneaky Bunny is walking in the Champion, and she'll walk out the same way! And YOU, Lor...well, I don't think you're gonna like what she has in store for you...

MM: Lor was brought into the RDCW by Meeko. Any thoughts about that?

JM: I heard the comments from Meeko and PenWing earlier. Meeko thought she found a new ally in her botched pweudo-war against the Bastardo Family? Well, I guess we see what GREAT judge of talent Meeko is! How's that "alliance" working out for you, Meeko? Is Terri alright? Are you ever gonna get it in your head that you lack the skill yourself and the abilities in general to take out the Family? You say you "knew" your plan was gonna backfire - I think we all know that you were hoping against hope that it WOULDN'T. That you'd find a new FRIEND to join your little social club. Good job, you failure!

MM: You heard both Meeko's AND PenWing's comments. What do want to say about PenWing and your match tonight?

JM: Y'know, Marcum, it's kinda funny. Back when this new Family was discussing possible expansion we threw out a ton of names, both on the RDCW roster and in other promotions. And the name that kept coming up was PenWing's. He and I are so similar in our wrestling styles, weapons of choice, and career paths that we could be mirror images of each other. Imagine a Bastardo Family with King Snarf, Sneaky Bunny, Joe Mama, and PenWing! You just might as well call this promotion the BFCW!!!

PenWing, I've never faced you in a match. But I've seen you enough and watched your career enough to know that you're a solid competitor. You're the Heavyweight Cheese Champion, and I take nothing away from you. You earned it. You won it clean. Congratulations. But you have three things that work against you. One, you care too much about "friendship" to effectively compete. It's the same weakness that your manager and friend, Meeko, possess. Neither of you could ever imagine that your "friends" would want a title shot or what they'd be willing to do to get that title shot. You surround yourself with your buddies - Bastardo Family cast-offs, if you remember - and put up blinders that prevent you from seeing that this is a BUSINESS! A business of CHAMPIONSHIPS! You have the biggest one in the business, PenWing. At some point you better take a long look at your "friends", because they're sure as hell taking a long look at you!

Two - you care way too much about these fans! (Boos from the crowd) You worry too much about what they think and what they want. You're a former Hardcore Porn Champion, PenWing, so you know how far you have to go to win a match. But that belt has made you think that you have a standard to uphold, and these fans have you believing that you can only go so far to win the match. And that'll kill you when you face off against Grimm. Against Nowhereman. Captain Howdy. JOE MAMA! If you're not willing to go AT LEAST as far as your opponent is...well, I wouldn't get too attached to that title.

MM: And, after seeing your last match against Captain Sammitch, and your match with Captain Howdy, we know how far the Bastardo Family Enforcer - the Euro-Cunt-Inental Champion - is willing to go to keep and win the gold!!!

JM: And three, PenWing: The very title you hold works against you. You hold the highest honor in this promotion, And I WANT IT!!! Tonight, you and I face off in an Intergender Tag Team Match. There's nothing on the line for you. Nothing at stake. But, for me, this match is just as important as any match I've been in. I want that title, PenWing, and if I have to kick your ass in every tag team or novelty match imaginable to finally get my shot at it, you can damn well be sure that I'll do it! Tonight, you better be willing to do whatever it takes to win, PenWing! Because I swear to you that I am! That you and I are going to face off for the Heavyweight Cheese Title is inevitable! And that road to inevitability starts TONIGHT!!!

Joe Mama slams the microphone down onto the mat as "Faded" starts. He leaves the ring and walks back to the locker room...

MM: Strong words from the Euro-Cunt-Inental Champion! I hope PenWing heard 'em! He's got a HELL of a fight on his hands tonight!!! Back to you, Monroe...