Master Of Domain Tournament Sweet 16 Battle Royal Finale
James White: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is a battle royale to determine the number one contender for SummerScam! It is the Master of Domain Sweet Sixteen Finale!
"The Ecstasy of Gold" blasts over the speakers. And the entire Cheesedome shakes from the sound of boos coming from the stands. Ariel leads King Snarf, Joe Mama, Johnny Evil, El Superbeasto, Stupid Doog, Charlie, Highwayman, and Balls Nasty to the ring.
The boos quickly turn to cheers as SPANDEX MONKEY MAN is heard and 'Good Vibrations' by Brian Wilson starts playing. SPAMM heads down the ramp and waits at the ring steps. Right behind him is former RDJLer I-Man, who joins SPAMM at the ring steps.
"Rob’s Killer Instinct Rip-Off Theme Music" echoes throughout the walls of the Cheesedome, and the cheers turn louder as Captain Howdy emerges from behind the curtain first, waving the Union Jack flag. MisterJLA follows, holding an American flag with a pissed-off look on his face. The Allied Powers take up position on the opposite side of the ring.
The cheers get louder as "Return of the Living Dead" hits and Grimm walks down the ramp, taking another side of the ring.
"Gonna Fly Now" hits, and the fans go ballistic as SDC members Captain Sammitch and James Fantastic head down the ramp and take the last side of the ring.
"Real English Man" hits, and the fans continue to cheer as Holly Wood Hulk Nogan takes up position next to Grimm.
Marcum: What are they doing?
Monroe: It looks like the non-Family members talked some strategy before the match! They've taken up positions all around the ring!
On cue, all eight wrestlers storm the ring at once. Ariel quickly ducks out, barely avoiding being trampled.
Marcum: They almost ran over Ariel! That ain't right!
Monroe: She should have known better than to enter the ring!
James Fantastic heads straight for Charlie, and the two begin to duke it out in one corner. The Allied powers try to make a line straight for King Snarf and Joe Mama, but Balls Nasty and Highwayman head them off. Stupid Doog and El Superbeasto cut off Nowhereman and Grimm, while Johnny Evil attacks SPAMM.
Marcum: Look at the way the Family Business protects it's investments!
Monroe: But they can't stop Sammitch and I-Man!
Sammitch manages to get some punches in on Joe, while I-Man starts brawling with Snarf. Snarf and Joe lead their opponents to a corner. Meanwhile, Doog manages drop down and knock Nogan down with a Russian leg sweep. Superbeasto throws Grimm over Doog and into the corner, where Doog pounces on him with rabies. Superbeasto quickly turns his attention to Sammitch and I-Man along the ropes as they try to eliminate King Snarf and Joe Mama. Superbeasto spins both of them around and grabs their throats, sending them both over with a double chokeslam. In the confusion, the Allied Powers execute Extreme Final Justice on Balls and Highwayman.
Marcum: I don't think anyone will survive El Superbeasto's wrath! He just eliminated to wrestlers with one move!
As Marcum finishes his words the Allied Powers get under El Superbeasto and lift both his legs together, flipping him over the ropes and onto the ground.
Monroe: Buhgawb! The Allied Powers just came out of nowhere to eliminate the giant Luchador!
Marcum: WHAT!? What happened to Balls Nasty and Highwayman!?
Monroe: It looks like they recieved a taste of justice!
As the Allied Powers go back to work on Balls and Highwayman, Snarf and Joe find a quiet corner to retire to.
Monroe: What are King Snarf and Joe Mama doing?
Marcum: I believe they are talking strategy!
Monroe: Talking strategy? In a battle royal? They should be eliminating the competition!
Marcum: That's the genius of it! They competition is eliminating itself!
Nogan gets back to his feet, and he sends Doog over the ropes with the Fucking Cuntline. Charlie barely misses Nogan as he hits the ropes right next to him, and Fantastic takes him out with a modified Classy Kick to the chest. Nogan grabs Fantastic and throws him over the ropes, right on top of Charlie.
Monroe: I don't think that was part of the plan! Nogan just tossed out his countryman and ally!
Marcum: Faboo should have been more careful!
Grimm notices Spamm in trouble and hits Johnny Evil with the Crapping Wizard. He then lifts him up and climbs the corner turnbuckle, throwing him to the ground with the Triple 6 Bomb.
Monroe: That had to hurt!
In the ring, JLA finally manages to get Highwayman over the ropes, but when he turns around he sees Balls send Captain Howdy out of the ring. JLA runs at Balls and launches himself for a flying forarm, but Balls ducks, just as Nogan is about to attack Balls from behind. JLA hits Nogan, and Balls quickly grabs the stunned Nogan for a Tavernsmasher. Before Balls can reset himself, JLA hits him with Final Justice and then clotheslines him out of the ring. Joe Mama comes up behind JLA and quickly tosses him out. Balls attacks JLA outside the ring, and the two end up fighting through the crowd and disappearing into the back. Outside the ring, Ariel is helping Johnny to his feet. "SPANDEX MONKEY MAN!" is heard as SPAMM hits Might of the Monkey on Ariel.
Monroe: Buhgawb! SPAMM just eliminated himself!
Marcum: That's fucked up! He hit Ariel with Might of the Monkey! That ain't right!
Johnny Evil is back on his feet, and Spamm hits him with the Spandex Superkick. He then walks up the ramp. Grimm just stands there with his jaw gaping open as he shakes his head. Suddenly, Snarf comes up behind him and quickly lifts him over the ropes.
Monroe: King Snarf and Joe Mama came out of nowhere to eliminate JLA and Grimm!
Marcum: That's team work!
As Snarf celebrates with a few "Woo!"s, Joe Mama comes up behind him and tosses him out of the ring.
Monroe: Buhgawb! That doesn't look like teamwork to me!
Marcum: What the fuck just happened!?
Monroe: The Family Enforcer just eliminated the Crown Jewel! That's what happened!
Joe has no time to celebrate as Nogan comes at him with a Cunt Fu Kick. Joe gets out of the way, and Nogan gets tangled in the ropes. Joe takes a few shots at his head and tosses him over. The bell sounds.
Monroe: Joe Mama has just won the Master Of Domain Tournament!
Marcum: But…but what about King Snarf? He eliminated the Crown Jewel of the Family!
Monroe: I guess the “role for everyone” strategy doesn’t hold when the Heavyweight Cheese Championship and a shot at PenWing is involved…
Marcum: A mistake! It had to be a mistake! Joe Mama was trying to save King Snarf from the Cunt-Fu kick and eliminated him by accident!!!
Monroe: Hollywood Nogan was still getting to his feet when Joe Mama tossed out King Snarf!
Marcum: Not true! You don’t know what you’re talking about!!!
“Ecstasy Of Gold” plays as Joe Mama takes his title belt and celebrates in the ring. His back is turned to King Snarf, who slides into the ring and shoves him. Joe Mama turns, ready to defend himself, but he sees his teammate and visibly relaxes. King Snarf shouts at Joe Mama, but Joe Mama’s relaxed demeanor doesn’t change.
King Snarf: Dammit, Joe! What do you think you’re doing? This match was supposed to be MINE!!!
Joe Mama: Champ, relax! We won!
King Snarf: We had a plan in place! What the FUCK to you think you’re doing?!?
Joe Mama: Champ, it doesn’t matter which of us won. What matters is that one of us won! We can work this out later! Don’t forget, we still have the Wargasms match! We gotta stay focused! We’ll straighten things out after the Wargasms match! I promise!!!
King Snarf is still pissed, but Joe Mama spreads the ropes for him to leave the ring, then walks with him, raising his hand in “victory” as they leave the ring.
Marcum: See, Monroe! It was a simple mistake!
Monroe: I didn’t see a simple mistake, Marcum. I saw betrayal.
Marcum: Then you need to clean off your glasses!!!
