Four-Way Elimination Boobie Belt Championship

Sneaky Bunny was the first to the ring as “Scar Tissue” played. She handed the title to the referee, then turned to face her opponents. Meeko came out next as “Let’s Get It Started” announced her arrival. Harleykwin arrived next followed by Lor, to the tune of “Revolution”. As Lor entered the ring, the bell sounded.

Lor was immediately jumped by the other three competitors. They switched off, each taking turns holding her while one of them punched and kicked her. Sneaky Bunny took a little extra time, driving her fists into Lor’s head, trying to knock the lone she-wolf out. Somehow, Lor was able to break Harleykwin and Meeko’s grips, throwing big punches at them as she moved in to attack Sneaky Bunny.

Monroe: Looks like we’re gonna get one HELL of a match!

Marcum: I love it when sexy women get in a ring and catfight!!!

Lor and Sneaky Bunny paired off as Meeko and Harleykwin started fighting each other. Meeko’s size and strength advantage was obvious as she battered Harleykwin. Then she set up her Suplex Clinic, running the gamut of Meeko-plexes and generally abusing the Allied Powers’ representative. Finally, as Lor clotheslined Sneaky Bunny out of the ring, Meeko hit a Meeko-Bomb for the pin, eliminating Harleykwin.

Monroe: We’re down to three ladies! But whom will Lor team with? Who gets eliminated next?

Marcum: Look! MisterJLA is here to comfort his teammate!

Monroe: I don’t think that look on his face is gonna be much comfort…

As the match continued, with Sneaky Bunny catching her breath and Meeko and Lor locking up, MisterJLA rushed to Harleykwin. But he was visibly pissed off and the crowd started booing as he berated her. She seemed to be taking the verbal punishment, but then MisterJLA screamed…

JLA: YOU’RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!!!

…which caused Harleykwin to look up, shocked and angry. Suddenly, she delivered Final Justice to her former teammate. As MisterJLA slumped to the ring floor, Harleykwin stalked off, screaming at JLA and the other women.

Back in the ring, Meeko and Lor were battling back and forth. Lor was able to weather Meeko’s brawling technique and even give as good as she was getting. Meeko Irish-whipped Lor into the ropes, and set up to deliver a belly to back Meeko-plex. But she telegraphed it and Lor was able to stop her momentum and give Meeko a gut-kick, leading to Punch & Judy. Meeko flew back and landed close to the ropes. Lor went for the pin and, as the ref counted, Sneaky Bunny popped up in front of Lor and – from outside the ring – throw an obviously loaded fist as the ref counted Meeko out.

Lor was clearly dazed and bleeding as Sneaky Bunny dropped whatever she had and climbed back into the ring. With Lor wiping the blood from her eyes, Sneaky Bunny moved in and applied some suplexes of her own. Then, as Lor started trying to get up, Sneaky Bunny locked in a Texas Cloverleaf. Lor screamed and thrashed, refusing to tap out. She crawled towards the ropes but was dragged away again. Finally, exhausted from the match and the loss of blood, Lor seemed to pass out. The referee checked her arm and, with thre drops, Sneaky Bunny was declared the winner.

Marcum: What a grueling match! Sneaky Bunny showed who the toughest bitch in the RDCW is!!!

Monroe: Lor didn’t tap out. She might’ve lost, but she never tapped.


ECW Rulez Hardcore Championship Match

TK-069 came in the champion. And he battled like a champion. As did the former champion, Wednesday. But neither man was a match for the man who lives, breathes, and bleeds HARDCORE! Instead of focusing on eliminating Captain Howdy, both men alternated between attacking him and each other. This cost them, as it gave Howdy the opportunity to catch his breath and, ultimately, use various implements of destruction to destroy his opponents. Several chair shots and assaults with 2x4s, lead pipes, and one unfortunate fan later, Captain Howdy was named the new Hardcore Porn Champion.

Monroe: I think it’s safe to say that that poor fan lived his dream! Be careful what you wish for…

Marcum: That fan’s body is a lethal weapon! Just ask Wednesday and TK-069!!!

Monroe and Marcum: BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!