*Chesty Lerou, sporting a very sexy black leather ensemble, is standing backstage.*
Chesty: Tonight, on this very special Wednesday night edition of Havoc, the surprises keep coming! First, we learned the SDC has splintered, with the SD Rockers becoming the Tuesday Night Rockers! Then, Joe Mama entered the ring to lay the blame of his quitting the Family on every single one of their members. And finally, the Doctor himslef came out to announce the main event for tonight! The Unholy Alliance is none other than the Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion, Joe Mama, and the man standing next to me this evening, the Heavyweight Cheese Champion, PenWing!
*There is a mix of cheers and booes from the crowd as the camera pans out to show PenWing standing next to Chesty.*
Chesty: Ooh, rough crowd! PenWing, it looks like your task at hand is a lot more difficult than you might have thought. Not only have most of the wrestlers in the back lost their trust in the SDC, (and believe me, I can speak personally on that) but you may have also lost the fans' support when you quit the WarGasms match last week! Add to all that presure the stipulations of your match tonight, and I think you'll understand why people are beginning to wonder if you can cut it anymore.
PenWing: Somewhere in there I think there was a question. I think the question was, PenWing, do you really have what it takes to face Joe Mama at SummerScam and successfully defend your title against a man who will do anything and everything necessary to get the job done? Chesty, was that the question you were going for?
Chesty: Well, if you want to cut right too it, yeah. Do you have what it takes to be the man?
*PenWing smiles.*
PenWing: I never lost it. All this talk of me being soft. All this doubt about me being trustworthy. All this talk about me being respectable. This is the same trash Joe Mama has been spewing about me since he first joined the Family. Do you remember when that was? Do you remember the conversation Joe and I had in the hall after I returned? Do you remember the question I asked Joe that night?
*Chesty shakes her head.*
PenWing: Well, I do. And the fans do. I asked Joe a very simple question: What will you do when you leave the Family or they kick you out? Well, the family didn't turn on Joe Mama. No. Joe Mama turned on the Family. Joe Mama got bored, so he decided to shake things up a bit, start some new fights. Maybe rekindle some old alliances. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Joe does what Joe does.
I, on the other hand, am as predictable as your favorite novel. I follow a set of rules. I believe in friendship, loyalty, and trust. My friendship with Sammitch and Meeko are what took me to the top. My loyalty to the fans is what gives me the strength to go out there and give that extra little something that separates the King Snarf's from the Joe Mama's. And my trust, has been severely misplaced.
Like Meeko, I trusted the Tuesday Night Rockers. We all thought we were on the same page. We all thought we wanted the same thing: to uphold the integrity of the RDCW and give the fans the best show possible night in and night out. But, after WarGasms, the trio barged into the locker room while we were preparing to treat Sammitch, and told me that I should have let Joe destroy Sammitch's career so that we could have taken one match from the Family Business.
Let me repeat that for you, Chesty. James Fantastic, Tommy Savitz, and Two-Ton Tommy decided that winning ONE match was worth the cost of losing ONE friend.
*PenWing pauses for a moment.*
PenWing: Chesty, was there anything on the line in that match?
Chesty: Just your pride.
*PenWing smiles at her.*
PenWing: It seems that way, doesn't it? It wasn't Nowhereman who quit. It wasn't Grimm. It wasn't your boyfriend. And as for Sammitch, he never would have asked me to do what I did. It was MY decision. It was MY pride. And I say screw pride. This isn't about pride. This title isn't about pride. It's about performance. My record in singles and tag compition speaks for itself. I bring everything I have into that ring, and I leave everything I brought in that ring! I put it all on the line, all the time! Half of my matches have been hardcore!
There's an old saying: what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger! Believe me, when Sammitch comes back, he'll be a hell of a lot stronger! And the SDC, even if remains just the three of us, will be a hell of a lot stronger because of that!
Sacrificing one member for the sake of a minor vitory, that's not what the fans want. That's not what the fans ask for. That's not the SDC way. That's the Bastardo way! And Tommy Savitz, you should really think about that, now that you've turned your back on people who could have been true friends in favor of people who specialize in stabbing their teammates in the back!
Chesty: But what about your match tonight? If you get pinned, you'll lose your title!
PenWing: And if Joe gets pinned he loses his title. And if either JLA or Howdy get pinned, they lose the tag titles and the individual title. Howdy, I used to hold the title you now wear around your waist. I used to be the Hardcore Porn Champion. Don't think I've forgotten what it takes to preform at that level. I've surpassed it. I didn't ask for this match, and neither did Joe. And to be frank, I don't know that I even trust Joe. He wants this belt (taps the Big Cheese Belt). He wants to be the man. He wants to have the target on his back. However, I don't think he wants to win this title from Mister Kick You In The Nuts When The Ref Isn't Looking JLA. I have no doubt that Joe Mama will show up tonight with his very best. Because Joe Mama cares about one thing, and that's what's best for Joe Mama.
Chesty: But what happens if you win?
PenWing: Then Joe and I become the new World Tag Team Champions.
Chesty: Is that what you want? How can the fans be sure that you'll show up to this match? How can the fans be sure that you won't cause Joe to lose his title? How do we know that you aren't out for revenge?
PenWing: Chesty, why would I betray the fans tonight for some cheap revenge when I'm facing Joe at SummerScam? And before you repeat that I could lose the Big Cheese Belt, let me make it very clear that I will not be the one to get pinned tonight. My plan, right now, is to step into that ring, lay all differences with Joe Mama aside, and take away the World Tag Titles from the Allied Kick Everyone In The Nuts Powers. That's the way I play the game.
Like I told Meeko, while the teams may have changed, the rules will always stay the same. Because, anytime, anywhere, (the entire crowd of the Cheesedome joins in) SUDDEN DEATH RULES!
*Havoc goes to break.*
