RDCW World Tag Team Championships: Tag Champion Allied Powers - MisterJLA (DCMB Champion) and Captain Howdy (Hardcore Porn Champion) versus The Unholy Alliance - (Inter-Cunt-Inental Champion) Joe Mama and (World Heavyweight Cheese Champion) PenWing
Special stipulation: Whichever individual champion is pinned or submits loses their title to the man who does it! “Faded” plays, as Joe Mama walks out with the IC Title strapped around his waist. He quickly takes the ring, climbs to the second turnbuckle, and points toward the crowd. He looks happy and confident, but his smile disappears when he sees the Allied Powers rushing through the crowd! They hit the ring, and begin to beat Joe down!
Monroe: Where the Hell is PenWing? Why isn’t he here?
Marcum: They must have both wanted their own ring entrance! They should have made their way to ringside as a team, but their precious egos must have been too big for that! The Powers continue to stomp away at Joe, until “We Will Rock You” is finally played. A visibly distraught PenWing rushes straight to the ring, and jumps the Powers. He clears the ring, and JLA and Howdy decide to regroup on the floor.
Joe Mama: Where the FUCK were you? They did a number on me!
PenWing: How was I supposed to know? I was waiting for my intro to start! Lothar finally calls for the bell, and orders the Powers to send a man in. Howdy reluctantly climbs through the ropes, and PenWing tells Joe to take a breather.
Monroe: What a match up to officially start us off! The brawling, brutal hardcore style of the Hardcore Porn Champion Captain Howdy, versus the fast paced style of World Heavyweight Cheese Champion PenWing!
Marcum: The Cheese Title would look great on The Captain! The two lock up, and PenWing throws Howdy to the mat with an arm drag. A frustrated Captain Howdy rushes toward PenWing, only to get hit with another arm drag. PenWing then shoots himself off the ropes, and crashes down on Howdy’s head with a knee drop.
Howdy makes an attempt at getting to his feet, but PenWing again rockets himself off the ropes, and lands an impressive clothesline!
Monroe: He’s using the ropes to increase his speed!
Marcum: No kidding! Again PenWing sends himself to the ropes, and tries a cross body block, but Howdy catches him, and slams PenWing’s back across his knee.
Marcum: Nice backbreaker! With Howdy now in command, he lets loose with vicious punches and kicks that catch the Cheese Champion in the head.
Monroe: Is Joe Mama…smiling?
Marcum: I know I am! Picking up his opponent by the hair, Howdy then Irish whips his enemy in to a neutral corner. He follows him in to continue to do damage, but realizing he his trapped, PenWing pops Howdy in the jaw with an elbow.
With the tide turned again, PenWing holds the Captain in a headlock, and walks him toward the Unholy Alliance corner. He extends his hand to Joe.
Monroe: Why isn’t Joe making the tag?
Marcum: I think he’s still pissed at PenWing for not being there when he got beat down during the ring intros! Joe finally makes the tag, and kicks Howdy in the gut. As he leaves the ring, PenWing shoots his partner a disgusted look.
Monroe: They obviously don’t like, nor trust each other! After shooting PenWing a dirty look back, Joe turns his attention to Howdy. He Irish whips him to the ropes, catches him off the rebound, and traps him in a sleeper.
Monroe: He wants to put him to sleep!
Marcum: That’s a very non-hardcore way to try to win the Hardcore title! Howdy struggles to fight out of the hold, but as he slips into unconsciousness, he waves in MisterJLA. JLA rushes at Joe…and right into an Enforcer, Joe Mama’s spine buster!
Monroe: Joe broke the sleeper, and caught JLA as he tried to interfere!
Marcum: But he forgot about Howdy! Captain Howdy waits for Joe to turn and face him, and as he does, he is greeted with a kick to the stomach, and then a DDT. Lothar rolls JLA out of the ring.
Marcum: PenWing should have neutralized JLA! Joe Mama can’t do it all!
Howdy waits for JLA to recover outside the ring, then drags a stunned Joe to the Allied corner. JLA is tagged in, and he takes the apron, Howdy makes a gesture toward JLA.
MisterJLA then nervously picks up Joe Mama, fires him to the ropes, and completes a very sloppy…
Monroe: DROP TOE HOLD! DROP TOE HOLD! DROP TOE HOLD! Marcum: A wrestling move from MisterJLA??? I thought he only knew how to kick people in the balls, swing chairs, and Irish whip people? He doesn’t know how to wrestle! Monroe: DROP TOE HOLD! DROP TOE HOLD! DROP TOE HOLD! His first wrestling move ever! Everyone in the Cheesedome is stunned, none more than MisterJLA. He looks over at Howdy, and yells,
“I did it! I did a wrestling move!” In his excitement, he doesn’t see Joe dive toward The Alliance corner, and tag in PenWing.
PenWing immediately hits MisterJLA with…a spear!
Monroe: That’s one of this trademark moves! JLA’s had it! PenWing goes for the cover, but Howdy breaks it at two. Joe never does try to stop the save attempt.
An annoyed PenWing then tries to suplex JLA, but JLA slips out of it, and picks up PenWing. He stumbles around a bit, and then dumps PenWing on the canvas.
Monroe: BODY SLAM! BODY SLAM! BODY SLAM!
Marcum: Will you stop?!? JLA then points at Joe Mama, then stands over PenWing’s legs. He picks up his legs, crosses them, and then looks confused. He mutters to himself:
JLA: He legs goes here, and then my left arm is there. Then I…no wait. I have to lock his legs, but where does my knee go again…?
Monroe: He’s trying to put him in a Joe Mama-Lock: His modified Texas Cloverleaf!
Marcum: He forgot how to do it! As time drags on, PenWing sits up, and punches JLA in the head several times. He makes the quick tag to Joe Mama.
Mama enters the ring, but it met with…a thumb to the eye.
Marcum: That’s NOT a wrestling move so don’t even start! JLA then reels off a series of botched moves: sloppy body slams, a gut buster in which Joe doesn’t even land on JLA’s knee, and a suplex that sends Joe Mama not to the mat, but into Lothar, the referee.
Howdy: PERFECT! Seeing that the ref is down, The Hardcore Legend Captain Howdy grabs a chair out from under Ring Announcer James White, and slides it into the ring. Rather than retrieve the chair, PenWing attacks Howdy outside the ring, and they clash near the timekeeper’s table.
Seeing the chair, JLA smiles and grabs it. As Joe Mama tries in vain to wake Lothar, JLA brings the chair down across Joe’s back. He then lays the chair in the middle of the ring, and pulls Joe toward it.
He then sends Joe’s head into the chair, with a piledriver.
Monroe: Oh my! A vicious piledriver onto the chair!
Marcum: Not a piledriver, but “The Night Cap!” That’s one of Howdy’s trademark moves, and he must have taught MisterJLA how to use it! JLA throws the chair out of the ring, and again tries to apply the Joe Mama-Lock.
JLA: You’re going to tap out to your own submission move! Just as soon as I remember how to do it… Joe kicks JLA in the jaw, sending him to the mat. He then applies the Joe Mama-Lock!
Joe Mama: THIS is how you do it, fool! 
After a few seconds, JLA begins to tap wildly.
Monroe: He’s tapping out! This match should be over, with the DCMB Championship going to Joe Mama, and The World Tag Team Belts going to the Unholy Alliance!
Marcum: But Lothar’s out, as usual!
Monroe: He’s very fragile! As PenWing and Captain Howdy continue to battle on the CheeseDome floor, and Joe continues to hold JLA in the Joe Mama-Lock, the crowd notices someone standing at the Cheesedome ramp.
Monroe: It’s Charlie, Joe’s newest enemy, now that Joe left the Family! Joe sees Charlie standing on the ramp, too. He releases JLA from the hold, and motions for Charlie to fight him.
Monroe: He wants to fight Charlie right here and now!
Marcum: I seriously doubt that! Charlie tries for a “run-in”, but Joe stomps away at him as he slides underneath the ring ropes. Charlie rolls out of the ring, and Joe holds his own arms up in triumph. Charlie stands by the ring, screaming,
"Next week, you traitor! Next week, it's you and me!!!" Joe Mama nods, and tells him, "I've got the match all picked out, Company Bitch!"
MisterJLA picks himself off the mat, and waits for Joe to turn around. As Joe does, MisterJLA delivers a brutal kick to the balls, better known as “The Final Justice”.
Monroe: That’s got be it! Joe Mama is doubled over in pain, but before he falls to the mat, his enemy grabs by the throat. JLA then completes a move, and goes for the cover.
Monroe: He just hit Joe with a…a…what was that?
Marcum: A side slam while holding his neck? No! It was a “Howdyslam”, also known as a Chokeslam! I think!
Monroe: That was the worst looking chokeslam I ever saw!
Marcum: But it may be enough! That along with the chair shot, the piledriver on the chair, and the “Final Justice”! Lothar just happens to wake up. He sees Captain Howdy and PenWing fighting outside the ring, along with Charlie who is still on the floor. Lothar shrugs his shoulders, and makes the count.
1…2…3 Marcum: The Allied Powers have just retained the World Tag Team Championships!
Monroe: As if that’s not bad enough, look at this spectacle! MisterJLA rips the IC Belt out of James White’s hands, fastens it across his waist, and begins to jump all over the ring, while yelling "YIPPEE!"
Monroe: Please tell me that’s not our new IC Champion.
Marcum: Oh, but it is! Camera fades to black…
