It's much more fun reviewing crappy comics than good ones. Plus they're much easier to find. In Supergirl #1, Jeph Loeb accomplishes something very impressive: he manages to get the reader confused on a first issue.
When the new Supergirl first appeared in Superman/The Bat-Man, it seemed like DC was leaving the name's convulted backstory behind and giving the character a clean start. It's a character with a simple origin (relatively, especially when compared to past Supergirls) and no relation to the previous incarnations. But Jeph Loeb does the opposite of leaving the confusion behind: he deliberately brings it back and, while he's at it, creates some more.
The story begins with Supergirl in the place of the average Supergirl reader: she's confused about her previous incarnations, so she wants to meet them. So, she starts with the one who has the most in common with her: Power Girl... who shares her exact same origin. Power Girl is Superman's cousin from Krypton... yet she's not related to Supergirl in any way. Maybe they're from different sides of the family?
Wasn't the post Crisis Power Girl the grand-daughter or Arion of Atlantis, or something? Since when is she a Kryptonian? Did she live in Krypton for a while like this new Supergirl or was she launched as a baby? Does Superman even know the chick with the big boobs from JSA is his cousin? Does he feel dirty for looking at her boobs all these years? Would he not have looked at her boobs if he knew they were cousins? How could he possibly not look at those boobs? None of this is addressed in the issue, and, though the omission of a recap of Power Girl's origin is one of the things that makes the issue confusing, I think including it would have actually made things worse, so Loeb probably chose the less confusing option. Or he was just lazy and didn't bother looking it up.
So, Supergirl and Stargirl (or whatever) are watching the JSA get their asses kicked by none other than Solomon Grundy (they're old fucks, after all), then Power Girl shows up to save them, then Supergirl shows up to save Power Girl. Supergirl approaches Power Girl to bond and stuff, since they have so much in common, but then the unexpected happens: Power Girl's powers go out of control and they start fighting!
The bulk of the issue is the two spandex blondes fighting and bouncing their boobs. Speaking of boobs, in order to give the characters more individuality, Mike Turner made sure there was an evident difference between their boobs. It's not just the size (Supergirl's are small now, and we all know Power Girl's...), it's also that Supergirl's are very pointy, while Power Girl's are perfectly round. Now that's characterization.
The obligatory uninentional fight is stopped by the always convenient "scientific" explanation, courtesy of the otherwise useless (in this issue) Mr. Terrific. It's actually all very simple: since Supergirl and Power Girl have the same origin, when they get together it's like they're the same person trying to occupy the same space, so, obviously, that means they start shooting heat vision rays at each other, like two magnets of the same charge who shoot heat vision at each other. Those crazy magnets, always shooting heat vision. Which Power Girl isn't supposed to have. Which Supergirl didn't lose control of. But don't let details like those bother you, there's more confusing stuff going on.
Power Girl decides she doesn't wanna be around Supergirl, not just because they lose control if they get near (wonder if they'd end up making out?), but also because this caped teenage with small pointy boobs (and, apparently, no bra, did I mention that?) has her same origin and makes her feel redundant in the DCU. Or just confused, I forget which. In other words: let's avoid the subject until I get my origin retconned, because right now I'm between origins and it's all mess.
Thankfully, the fact that Power Girl's origin is getting retconned right now means this issue will be out of continuity in no time. Which could be confusing, given that it's #1 of an ongoing series. Unless, they decide to reveal that the Power Girl in this issue was actually a thanagarian spy...
The very end of the story is another masterful touch of confusion by the master of convulted storytelling (you know, the key player in DC's crossover event who signed an exclusive with Marvel but will continue to write Supergirl for DC... hey, maybe making this issue suck was in his Marvel contract!)... where was I? Yeah, the ending: crazy looking power suit wearing Luthor from Superman/The Bat-Man (not to be confused with cool looking business suit wearing Luthor, from Villains United and other books) is spying on Supergirl and saying "Hmm, she's looking for a friend... time to introduce myself!" Introduce yourself where, you perv? This is specially disturbing if you consider that he was banging protoplasm Supergirl for a couple years, back when he was his own long haired australian son.
Oh, yeah, there's spoilers in this review... but I think we'll all agree that if you wanted to read this comic I actually did you a favor...
