RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Tuesday Night Havoc 8.16.05

Backstage, King Snarf Rules is interviewing Joe Mama...

KSR: Joe Mama, last week you lost the Inter-Cunt-Inental Title to MisterJLA when you and PenWing - the so-called "Unholy Alliance" - were defeated by the Allied Powers. A quick end to what might have been an amazing tag team. You're thoughts on your defeat?

JM: You're wondering if I'm angry to have lost the title? If I'm mad at the Doctor for booking what was essentially a three-on-one handicap match? Are you asking me if this deepend my grudge against PenWing for his role in the loss? Is that what you're asking me?

KSR: Well...I, uh...that is...

JM: The simple answer is "no". Doc books the matches he books. He doesn't care about egos, alliances, or any of that bullshit. What he cares about is making the type of show that the RDCW fans want to see. I can't fault him for making the match he did. I'm just going to decimate his roster, one wrestler at a time.

PenWing? Well, who can blame him for not coming out with me to my music? He dislikes me and I dislike him. Of COURSE his ego would cause him to forget that we walk out to mine and walk back with the Tag Titles to his! He needs to hear his music as bad as someone like Grimm needs to believe he's still a scary monster - it soothes the ego and makes him feel important. I'm not mad at PenWing for helping us lose the match - I'm just going to take his Heavyweight Cheese Title at SummerScam and give him a brutal hurting in the process.

And of course I'm not upset about losing the Inter-Cunt-Inental Title! I've lost it before! I can always regain it! Plus, it allows me to focus on preparing for my SummerScam match with no other distractions. I guess I should thank MisterJLA and Captain Howdy for their roles in the loss. Remind me to show them how grateful I am later...

KSR: You're taking your losses in stride, Joe Mama...

JM: Because I realize the truth about the RDCW and what it means to be a champion. Title reigns end. It's just the way of things. My Inter-Cunt-Inental title reign ended last week. At SummerScam, PenWing's Heavyweight Cheese title reign will end. Empires rise, and then they fall. Just ask Louie Bastardo and Family Business.

KSR: Speaking of which, you have a "Doctor's Orders" Match against the Company Pitbull, Charlie, tonight. No one knows what that type of match entails. Can you shed some light on the subject?

JM: First of all, I've gotta ask Louie: How sad is it that the least of your Family is the only one who responded to my comments? What does it say that the "Crown Jewel" - the "great" King Snarf - kept his mouth shut like a little bitch while I shredded Family Business? Was he even in attendance? Or was he too busy praying that I wouldn't come looking for him and give him the ass-kicking that he so richly deserves? Do you get it now, Louie? You're precious Family is crumbling under the weight of its own laziness and complacency. Your "Crown Jewel" is farther away from title contention than ever and the rest of your group cares just slightly more. Enjoy extinction, Louie.

Now, Charlie, you showed a lot of heart by calling me out. I don't take that away from you. But let's be honest: you spent more time in your worthless feud with James Fantastic than you ever spent running for a title. Where's your hunger when the Hardcore Title is out of Family hands? How many chances did you blow for the Lightweight Title? You've done a lot of talking about how you beat up James Fantastic, but what did it bring you? What did it bring the Family? That's right - nothing. You're a lot of mouth and very little actual achievement, Company Bitch.

Tonight, you get a chance to face off against one of this promotion's big dogs. I guess it's safe for you now that there's no titles on the line, right Charlie? No title means no chance to choke, right Charlie? But it's not that safe or easy, Charlie. Doctor's Orders...no ring, no pins, no submissions, no DQ, no ten-count. The match takes place wherever we take it, weapons are encouraged, and it doesn't end until a doctor or some medical staff declares one of the competitors physically AND medically unfit to compete further. Long story short, Charlie: you better have a doctor attached at your hip. Because I'm going to punish you until the entire medical profession begs me to stop.

KSR: With no DQ, what's to stop other members of Family Business, or ANY wrestler for that matter, from getting involved?

JM: Boy, I half-way hope that someone tries to interfere. Let me make it plain and simple: you get involved, you get injured. If Louie wants to stand by his man tonight, great. I've been looking to pound some sense into him for weeks. Superbeasto? Bring it, big man - and I'll hurt you in ways that'll make you useless to a woman. Legbreakers...Johnny Evil...Howlerama...WHOEVER! Get involved, get hurt.

KSR: You left out King Snarf...

JM: No I didn't. We both know that the Family Diva doesn't like to get his hands dirty. And we all know that he's still trying to recover from what happened last year. Did you know that he stills looks both ways for, like, five minutes before he crosses any street out of fear that he'll get run down again? No, I don't see King Snarf as any kind of threat.

KSR: You sound confident. Any final words?

JM: Charlie, you have amazing potential. If things were different, I would've been proud to have you as my Enforcer. But, tonight, the Company Bitch gets disciplined. Tonight, your career gets cut drastically short. Have your insurance paid up, boy because, tonight, I'm going to cripple you and your Family Business.

KSR: Strong words from the ex-Family Enforcer. Back to you, guys...