Doctor’s Orders Match: Joe Mama vs Charlie

“Highway To Hell” played as the crowd mercilessly booed Family Business’ representative. Or they would have if Charlie actually came to the ring. His music ended and “Faded” started. But Joe Mama was also a no-show. There was a confused rumbling in the crowd, and then…

Monroe: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m getting word from the back that this match has already started!

Marcum: I knew it! I knew those two wouldn’t want to wait until their start-time!!!

The Cheese-O-Tron comes on and we see Charlie and Joe Mama in the middle of trading punches. From the looks of the two, this match started about ten minutes ago. Neither man gives any ground or even tries to block the other’s punches. Charlie swings wildly, allowing Joe Mama to duck under it and spear Charlie. But, as Joe Mama drives him into the floor, Charlie starts pounding on the back of Joe Mama’s head with closed fists. Somehow, the two separate and both men reach for steel chairs, only to slam them into each other trying to get to their opponent. They drop their chairs and revert back to fists and kicks.

The fight continues down the hallway and, as they pass by the locker room of Family Business, Howlerama come out and start double-teaming Joe Mama. After pounding on him, they set him up and execute Consumerism. As they try to pick him up and hit him with the Hostile Takeover, Charlie steps in and starts yelling at his teammates.

Monroe: Charlie doesn’t seem too pleased at his teammates’ interference.

Marcum: Of course not! He doesn’t need any help taking out the Family Traitor!

Charlie shoves Highwayman and continues to yell at them as Howler tries to calm Charlie down. Joe Mama slowly moves away from them and towards a fire extinguisher. Highwayman is the first to see what Joe Mama is doing and rushes to grab him. But Joe Mama hits him in the face with the extinguisher and then fires it at Howler and Charlie. Highwayman screams as blood pours down his face and the other two howl at the chemical blast. Joe Mama moves off and enters an unmarked room. When he comes out, he’s got Loosie with him and there’s a look of pure business on his face.

Monroe: Looks like Joe Mama’s looking to even the odds a little!

Marcum: Someone warn them! Someone get Charlie a table leg!!!

Howler is the first to feel Loosie’s wrath as Joe Mama targets his gut. Howler doubles over as a gasp exits his lungs. As he drops to his knees, Joe Mama follows it up with a shot to his spine. Charlie manages to get out of range, desperately looking for ANYTHING to counter his opponent’s weapon of choice. He slides off camera as Joe Mama goes to work on Highwayman. Moments later Charlie is back, table leg in hand. Joe Mama becomes a victim of the Tower Of London as Charlie drives his weapons across the back of his head. Loosie rolls away and Joe Mama falls. Charlie gets in Howler’s face…

Charlie: Get the EMTs!!! Get a doctor!!! Get Louie and Slick!!! I want them all to see Joe Mama’s final moments!!!

Howler stumbles off. Charlie picks Joe Mama up by the nape of his neck and his belt and starts looking around for something. Finally seeing what he’s looking for, Charlie pulls Joe Mama along and tosses him though the glass window of a conference room. The glass shatters and Joe Mama hits the floor within. He doesn’t seem to be getting up.

Monroe: My GOD!!! Joe Mama may very well have lost the match of his creation!!!

Marcum: I knew Charlie could do it!!! I knew he’d get the job done!!!

As Louie, Slick, and some EMTs rush onto the scene, Charlie enters the conference room to survey his work. His cocky grin melts away, though, as Joe Mama stumbles to his feet. As Louie screams and Charlie moves in for the kill, Joe Mama drops to one knee and delivers a low blow that double Charlie over. Once again, Joe Mama gets to his feet only this time he pulls Charlie to the windowpane. He tries to drag Charlie’s head towards a large shard of glass, but Charlie is able to struggle so Joe Mama contents himself with a few well-placed head butts to Charlie’s nose, breaking it. Blood pours down Charlie’s face as Joe Mama tosses him back into the hallway.

Marcum: Charlie’s a bloody mess!

Monroe: They both are, Marcum! I don’t know how much longer this match can go on!!!

Joe Mama leaves the conference room and makes a move to go after the managers, but Charlie hits a low blow of his own. He stands, moves back, and hits a few Bulldog Brains. The blows force Joe Mama back towards a foldout table and, as Charlie moves in for another of his specialty running head butts, Joe Mama is able to turn it into an Enforcer, driving Charlie’s back through the table. Joe Mama drives a few more fists into Charlie’s face before standing, turning, and going after the heads of Family Business.

Monroe: Looks like Joe Mama wants to settle a few scores tonight!

Marcum: Get them outta there! Joe Mama’s gone crazy!!!

Monroe: He did say that anyone who wanted to get involved would become part of the match…

Louie and Slick rush into their locker room and lock the door; Joe Mama turns in time to see two EMTs looking Charlie over. He rushes over and pulls them off of his opponent, and then shoves them out of the way. Joe Mama pulls Charlie up to his feet and drives his fist into Charlie’s face. Charlie falls back but, as Joe Mama moves in to press the advantage, Charlie grabs Loosie and swings away, catching his opponent in the side. Joe Mama drops to his knees again, holding his now-bleeding ribcage. Charlie steps forward and drags the barbed wire across Joe Mama’s forehead, cutting him wide open. Then Charlie tosses the bat aside and starts clawing at Joe Mama’s wounds.

Monroe: This match has gone too far!!! Somebody needs to call it now!!!

Marcum: It’s just gotten good!!!

Joe Mama’s face is a mask of blood. EMTs rush in to check on his condition, but Charlie drags him away from them. Charlie pulls Joe Mama through a set of doors and into the parking lot. A short distance away is an ambulance. Charlie Irish whips his opponent into the side and then rushes in to drive an elbow in and complete the British Bulldog. But Joe Mama is able to dodge the strike and Charlie drives his elbow into the ambulance itself. As he stumbles back, holding his injured arm, Joe Mama hits him with a brutal clothesline. His opponent lying prone on the asphalt, Joe Mama drives one vicious kick after another into Charlie’s ribs. Then he lifts Charlie up and delivers a standing Enforcer. The EMTs have now entered the parking lot and are trying to attend to Charlie AND Joe Mama, but Joe Mama is pulling himself and his opponent away from them. One EMT rushes off.

Marcum: Where’s that guy going?

Monroe: Presumably to get someone to stop the match!!!

Joe Mama tries to get onto the hood of the ambulance, but his injuries don’t allow him. Instead, he tosses Charlie at the windshield. Charlie hits it and barely moves. Joe Mama pulls him back onto the asphalt and tries to set up a Brain Buster, but Charlie (running solely on instinct at this point) somehow blocks it. Joe Mama delivers a shoulder breaker and then sets up a tombstone piledriver. But the EMT comes back with one of the doctors. Before he can hit the devastating move, the EMTs rush forward and break the fight up. The doctor briefly checks Charlie as the EMTs hold back the struggling Joe Mama. The doctor walks over to Joe Mama and says something to him that causes him to relax. As the EMTs rush forward to deliver first aid to Charlie, Joe Mama turns to the camera. His face is a red mask of blood and he’s holding his blood-soaked side.

JM: Did you people see that? Do you all see what I have in store for ANYONE who stands against me? King Snarf, do you have half the heart that your teammate has? Where are you, Snarf? Where were you while Charlie took the beating of a lifetime? Are you scared, Snarf? Of is it too embarrassing that the least of you is the one who has the most guts??? Snarf, you and Superbeast and Howlerama and the Legbreakers…you’re all in my sights now! Louie, take a good look at Charlie back there…that’s the future of the RDCW! That’s the future of anyone who steps in the ring with me!

That’s the future of The Family Business!!!

Joe Mama tries to say more, but the pain and blood loss cause him to fall. The EMTs start working on him as well…