"When It All Goes Wrong Again" hits as King Snarf makes his way to the ring!
KS: Ladies and gentlemen, you haven't heard from me in a while. And in that time, Joe said some things about me. He accused me of not posting promos. And he's absolutely right. And the reason I haven't posted stems from two people- Penwing and Joe Mama. But not in the way you think.
Y'see, way back when, I started feuding with TK-069. My gimmick was a headlock. No one expected me to win, yet win I did. I then vowed to be different from other World Champs here in RDCW. I posted. Other champs barely posted at all, but not me. I let everyone know about the headlock. Everyone backstage thought I would be just a transitionary champ, a few weeks at best. Instead, I went on to be one of the longes reigning champs in RDCW history. And for that, I want to thank each and every one of you fans, because you made it possible.
And then, along came PenWing. He fancied himself the big hero. He won the Rumble, and wanted to go on and beat me for the title at Robblemania. He figured that he would be unstoppable. But his plans took a detour. Now, this may come as a shock to some of you, but what happens here in the ring is a work. It's fake. You, the fans, decide who wins. The matches that take place are supposed to reflect you votes. And at Robblemania, you voted for me as the winner. You wanted ME to be your World Champ. But that didn't square with Penwing's little fantasy. So the decision was made to not have a clear winner. What should've been the greatest night of my life was taken from me due to petty backstage jealousy when the match ended in a no contest.
A month later, you fans vote for Penwing. Now, in the interest of fairness, I suggested that this also wind up a no-contest, so the feud could continue. Penwing, unsurprisingly, voted that down quicker than Fat Retard botches a call.
Still, I perservered. Joe Mama and I became Tag Team champions. Then came our title defense against PW and Capt. Sammitch. Once again, you voted resoundingly for me to get the win. But that didn't happen. Y'see, some folks backstage thought it'd be a good idea to interject the Allied Powers into the match, resulting in another no contest. The next week, Joe and I lost the belts. The people behind that decision were Nowheremna, Penwing and Joe Mama.
Why would Joe do that? Why would he lose his title? What the fuck did he care, he had another one! Y'see, Joe and Penwing are two peas in a pod. They have made it there business to make themselves look good at my expense.
For example, look at when Joe joined the Bastardos. He was in something of a slump, and the Bastardos were the hottest thing going. And it wasn't because of Chris Oakley and his many alt-ids, it wasn't because of James Fantastic. The Bastardo Family was so immensely over for one reason and one reason only- ME. So Joe decided to get in on some of that action. He left the Family when he decided that WE weren't doing enough to get himself over. I wasn't posting promos, and he got upset. But the reason I stopped caring is because what was the point? I post, I win, and then I'm made to look like a putz. And in the process, I let you the fans down, and I'm sorry.
So then came Wargasms. When Joe "betrayed" the Family. Look at how that happened. Penwing puts me in the submission hold, and Joe has to save me. Then Joe beats the crap out of me. Now, who's idea do you think that was?
So now we come to Summerscam. Where two of the biggest egomaniacs in the business have connived their way into the top spot. And now matter who wins, I'll tell you who loses- you the fans! Because after the match, they'll go backstage and have a good laugh at your expense. Because week after week, they insert themselves into the main event, and they don't give a damn about you. The only consolation I have is that one of 'em will screw the other in the match.
Oh, and I have a bold prediction for tonight's lumberjack match- I get screwed when the Bastardos turn on me and join up with Joe. And if not, then rest assured Joe argued vehemently for that to happen.
So, at Summerscam, I want you to think about something. You could vote for Joe, you could vote for PenWing. Or you could show them who has the power. Don't vote for either. Just leave that poll blank and then hit submit. Remember, you have the power. And I think it's high time you guys took it back.
With that, King Snarf drops the mic, makes a shooting motion with his finger at the crowd and then the backstage area, and leaves the ring.
