Madman Marcum is standing in outside the Allied Powers’ locker room, waiting to catch IC Champion MisterJLA. JLA finally exits his locker room, and sees Marcum waiting…
Marcum: MisterJLA! Tonight you will face Nowhereman in a non-title match! BUT, thedoctor just made a few additions to SummerScam, which involves you!
JLA: I love how I’m always the last to hear about MY matches. Spill it, Marcum.
Marcum: At SummerScam, you will defend the IC Title against…Nowhereman!
JLA: What? Then why are we wrestling tonight in a non-title match???
Marcum: I really don’t know…maybe a tease to get viewers to shell out money for the PPV?
JLA: Thedoctor expects me to go out there and risk injury in a non-title match? Forget that. Nowhereman and I will lock horns…at the PPV. Not tonight.
Marcum: You’re nervous about Nowhereman injuring you?
JLA: Of course not. I’m concerned that I might injure myself. Years ago, I hurt myself defending my DCMB Championship in a match, and I don’t want to take that risk tonight for a simple exhibition match.
Marcum: How did you injure yourself?
JLA: I pulled my groan.
Marcum: Your groan? (Pauses for a few moments) Don’t you mean your groin? You pulled you groin?
JLA: No, it was my groan. I went for a Final Justice on DC WEBMASTR, and pulled my groan…that’s what you’d call it, if you pulled it too. It causes you to groan a lot, trust me.
Marcum: So there you have it, folks! JLA refuses to wrestle tonight, so Nowhereman will win by count out. Back to you, Monr…
Nowhereman: Bollocks to that!
Out of…nowhere…appears Nott Hardy! He catches an unsuspecting JLA with a spear, and begins to pummel the champion with punches!
Inter-Cunt-Inental Non-Title Match: MisterJLA vs. Nott Hardy
Marcum: Nott Hardy is NOT taking this news well! He’s attacked the IC Champ, and it appears they will have their match right here and now!
Nott Hardy and JLA exchange punches and kicks in the backstage area! Hardy stuns JLA with an uppercut to the goolies, and then searches for a weapon! He soon finds a chair, and smacks his enemy across the face with it!
Soon after, security separates the two, and escorts Nott Hardy from the premises!
Monroe (speaking from the announcer’s table): Nott Hardy won the first round! He clearly got the best of JLA!
Marcum (still standing in the back): But that doesn’t mean anything! Nott had to use a chair, and at SummerScam, that will get him disqualified! He will have to beat JLA by the book if he wants another run as IC Champion!
Monroe: SummerScam is going to be the best PPV EVAR!
Marcum: For once we agree!
Women’s Boobie (Non-Title) Match: Sneaky Bunny vs. Stareena
Stareena made a strong case for herself in singles action. She showed very little ring rust as she kept Sneaky Bunny off-guard for most of the match, using both her technical skills and some high-risk maneuvers to maintain her edge. A missed superkick gave Sneaky Bunny the opportunity to chop block Stareena, taking out her knee and turning the tide. After stunning Stareena with kicks to the head, Sneaky Bunny locked in a figure-four leg lock, forcing Stareena to tap out.
