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Mike Monroe: On the eve of Hurricane Katrina, we are in beautiful downtown Roboken at the CheeseDome for SummerScam!
Anibabes (Champs) (35%, 18 Votes)
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Elisa / Batwoman (65%, 33 Votes)
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Spandex Monkey Man (67%, 34 Votes)
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Tommy "The Surgeon" Savitz (33%, 17 Votes)
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Allied Powers (Champs) (45%, 23 Votes)
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Howlerama (31%, 16 Votes)
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Tuesday Night Rockers (24%, 12 Votes)
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Chris Oakley (50%, 26 Votes)
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The Killer (50%, 26 Votes)
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Darth (Champ) (40%, 20 Votes)
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El Superbeasto (60%, 30 Votes)
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Sneaky Bunny (Champ) (54%, 29 Votes)
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Lor (46%, 25 Votes)
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Grimm (64%, 34 Votes)
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Pig Iron (36%, 19 Votes)
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MisterJLA (Champ) (38%, 20 Votes)
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Nowhereman (62%, 33 Votes)
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PenWing (Champ) (21%, 11 Votes)
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Joe Mama (79%, 42 Votes)
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The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
*The Cheese-O-Tron comes to life as an image of Pig Iron from Tuesday Night Havoc comes into focus.
PI: "I smell something …it smells like crap… crappy wrestling entertainment. . .Fans want to revel in gladiatorial conquests of human will, see sweat dripping from the depleted- sinewy muscles of modern day warriors, and call out for the blood of men not fit to stand in the ring.”
PI: "I ‘m a fan too, a fan of brutal matches and stories that will last for centuries like the struggles of greek heroes and demi-gods. I see few men here that can even remotely fathom or imagine the concept of becoming a legend. A hero rising by the will of the people, gathering strength from their combined belief, and translating that will into victory.”
*Cut to a shot of Grimm walking out onto the entranceway, mic in hand. His forehead is taped, as are his ribs and both hands.
Grimm: "So let me get this straight. You want brutality? You want bloodsheed? You want to go all the way. . .STRAIGHT TO HELL?!"
Grimm: "the MONSTER was awakened! And he woke up in a bad mood!"
PI: “Anything goes Grimm. Anything. The crowd requires blood, and a men with hearts. Ironic that I come here as a voice for the people to awaken this company, and you awaken at the same time.”
*Pig iron sharply turns his elbow into Grimm’s stomach. PI grabs grimm’s arm and swings him into the ropes and hurdles his shoulder into the stomach area again.
Welcome to my world, a battle field blitz
It's as real as it seems, as bloody as it gets
(Hut 2! 3! 4! Hut 2! 3! 4! Hut 2! 3! 4! Hut 2! 3! 4!)
Grimm: "I've been suspended for bad behavior, apparently. Because last week, Pig Iron and the MONSTER brought back the VIOLENCE!!!"
*Grimm lashes out with furious blows directed at Pi’s blood covered face..Blood is spraying all over the canvas.
We need more guns to fight our war
And people to defend our battle score
Grimm: "Pig Iron is a restless soul, wandering though life searching for meaning. And through the gift of violence, I am going to provide him with that meaning. Meaning and purpose."
*PI jumps onto the middle one propelling himself into a flying Pig on The Wing. Grimm goes down. PI stumbles to his feet and leg drops grimm. Grimm’s body convulses and he rolls over. PI wipes the blood from his eyes as he gets to his knees. Grimm sees PI’s back is turned and lunges for his ankle with all his energy . He has him in an ankle breaker. PI is writhing in pain..he is nowhere near the ropes now.
Grimm: "SummerScam. Grimm. Pig Iron. Texas Death Match."
Violence now, fight fire with fire
An eye for an eye, a bloodbath high
Kill or be killed, machine gun ricochet
Assassinate the president of the United States
Assassinate the president of the United States
*Grimm slides back into the ring. He kicks PI in the gut and wrenches the chair from him. He smacks the chair across PI's head. PI is dazed and stumbles a bit, but signals for another shot.
Pig Iron: “ It’s been a while since I have spoken. I’ve been in jail, in chains, sprayed with water hoses, and I’ve been hounded by security at every step. I can’t even wrestle this week. This is all because of the corporation."
Don't listen to the brainwashing of our times
Counter attack with a gun and a knife
(Hut 2! 3! 4! Hut 2! 3! 4! Hut 2! 3! 4! Hut 2! 3! 4!)
PI: "I’m starting a revolution. Real wrestling, real excitement, unscripted brutality, and it’s for you. The fans deserve our bodies, our minds, or dedication to excellence. You people pay me, not the corporation. You pay me to do something I’d do for free."
*Grimm cracks him over the head again and PI drops to his knees. PI signals for another blow and Grimm is about to oblige when several security officers storm into the ring and separate both wrestler. The guards cuff them and haul them out of the ring as the doctor is screaming on the rampway.
The Doctor: "End this! End this now!"
Don't be afraid to fight the power
Kill with the quickness every hour
*Grimm is being led backstage, smiling under the crimson mask, as is PI being carried behind.
Grimm: "The violence will continue. You can't stop it. The MONSTER is awake! "
PI: "WE WANT BLOOD! WE WANT BLOOD!"
Violence now, fight fire with fire
An eye for an eye, a bloodbath high
Kill or be killed, machine gun ricochet
Assassinate the president of the United States
Assassinate the president of the United States
Fans: "WE WANT BLOOD! WE WANT BLOOD!"
Stand up and shout "Violence now!"
Government puppets must be brought down
(Hut 2! 3! 4! Hut 2! 3! 4! Hut 2! 3! 4! Hut 2! 3! 4!)
You can do it all in another way
But always remember violence pays
PI:: "A Texas Death Match to the count of ten. It will be glorious. It will be an orchestra of blood and a ballet of bruised and battered bodies. I promise the fans this. This match will be worth the price of admission, you will not be cheated or let down by the corporate suits and playboy faces. This is real.”
Grimm: "Pig Iron, in just a little under a week, you're going to sweat. You're going to bleed. You're going to cry. I'm going to punish you. I'm going to take you beyond the limits of human endurance. . .I've been working on a little present for the RDCW. It's called the Grimmlock Version 2. And at SummerScam, I'm going to unleash it for the first time. But not the last."
Violence now, fight fire with fire
An eye for an eye, a bloodbath high
Kill or be killed, machine gun ricochet
Assassinate the president of the United States
(Violence now! Violence now!)
Assassinate the president of the United States
(Violence now! Violence now!)
Assassinate the president of the United States
(Violence now! Violence now!)
PI: "Irony is a dish best served cold."
Grimm: "The Dark Days are coming. Abandon all hope."
*The music and images fade out as the Cheese-O-Tron powers down and the crowd applaudes wildly.
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1000+ posts
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'Batman' plays, and Spandex Monkey Man hits the ring, dropping down from the ceiling on his monkey rope. The crowd pops him hugely, and he produces a mic from under his cloak.
SPAMM: Well, it's time to get things started here! In just a few minutes, I will be facing off against my former tag team partner, Tomy 'I'm that DAMN good' Savitz, in a match that will absolutely, indisputably, undoubtedly, incontrovertibly rip the roof of the Cheese-Dome! OOK OOK ACK EEK!
the crowd pops SPAMM, and starting chanting his name
SPAMM: Tonight, Tommy, you will taste the full Might of The Monkey! You see, I've worked something out. Your approach to wrestling is technical, thorough, all that stuff. I, on the other hand, feel no fear, no pain. How can you beat someone who will feel the pain of The Surgeon's Knife?
Monroe: Spandex Monkey Man's got a point there!
Marcum: Puh-lease! One round with Johnny Evil or Charlie and then we'll see who's tougher!
SPAMM: You, on the other hand, have no means of guarding against the sheer power of The Monkey! Tonight, you will know defeat, humiliation and the true power of SPANDEX MONKEY MAAAAAAN!
OOK OOK ACK EEK!
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*The Crotch is seen backstage. He bumps into King Snarf Rules as he turns the corner.*
Crotch: Sorry buddy, you okay?
KSR: Yeah, I saw you just in time.
Crotch: Good. Say, have you seen Chesty? She was supposed to do an interview with Darth, but I can't seem to find either one of them. Would you mind, um, going down to the cellar, to, uh, see if they're down there?
KSR: Don't have to. I'm pretty sure I saw them head out to the parking lot a few minutes ago.
Crotch: Thanks, buddy.
*The Crotch heads off to the lot, but KSR yells after him.*
KSR: Not the structure, the lot! Other side of the Cheesedome!
Crotch: Okay, thanks!
*The camera follows the Crotch out back to the open lot. As he walks out the door, he hears a loud, raspy "FORE!" The Crotch ducks as a golf ball sails past his head.*
Crotch: Holy shit!
*Chesty's voice is heard in the distance.*
Chesty: Hey! Watch were you're going!
*The Crotch looks up in the direction of her voice, and sees Chesty and Darth standing several hundred feet away, atop a hill outside the Cheesedome property. He runs over to them. At the top, and out of breath, the Crotch begins his own interview.*
Crotch: Chesty, what are you doing up here? You were supposed to be interviewing Darth! We've got the biggest pay-per-view of the year going on right now!
Chesty: Sorry, we got caught up in the moment.
Crotch: Just what is it you're doing up here anyway?
Chesty: Darth is teaching me how to golf! Isn't it romantic?
Crotch: Darth, you golf?
Darth: I find it...relaxing.
Crotch: So it was you who almost hit me?
Darth: You moved.
*A look of relief comes over the Crotch's face as he realizes the ball was aimed at his head. Darth ignores the Crotch as he continues to teach Chesty the finer points of the swing. It is a bit difficult, as Darth darth swings right handed, and Chesty swings left handed. They are facing each other, as Chesty tries to mirror Darth's movements. Chesty prepares to swing the club.*
Darth: Remember, the ball is your friend. You don't want to break it on the swing.
*Chesty pulls back, yells "FORE!" and slices the ball off to the side. It sails just past the Crotch, who ducks out of the way.*
Crotch: Shit!
Darth: You need to bend your knees more, and keep your arm straight. Remember the beach ball.
Chesty: I hardly think this is the appropriate time to be remembering that...OHH! Right.
*The Crotch adjusts himself as he hears Chesty's remark.*
Crotch: Well, since I'm up here. Darth, last week El Superbeasto hit you from behind with the kitchen sink! I mean, of all the things to attack you with! And he threatened the safety of Chesty after he put you through the ring! How do you approach this match knowing that you may have finally met your equal in the RDCW?
Darth: FORE!
*Darth follows through on his swing and the ball bounces off the top of a limo in the lot.*
Darth: You have seen what I am capable of. Know this: It is El Superbeasto who should be worrying about his own safety in this match. How will he be able to show any woman the true lucha libre style if he has no...balls?
*With that comment, Darth takes another swing and breaks the ball on contact. The Crotch gulps as he realizes the meaning behind Darth's cold words. Chesty prepares to take another swing.*
Darth: Remember, the beach ball. Now, swing, slow and steady.
Chesty: Is there any other way? Oh. FORE!
*Chesty smacks the ball and it floats in the air, coming down on the windshield of the same limo Darth hit earlier. The ball bounces off, leaving a large dent.*
Crotch: Just whose limo is that, anyway?
Chesty: El Superbeasto's.
*A look of fear comes over the Crotch's face and he begins to back away.*
Crotch: I think I'm going to go back inside now.
*The Crotch begins to walk away, and he breaks out into a full run as he reaches the bottom of the hill.*
Chesty: What's he worried about? It's not like he did anything wrong.
Darth: Like all small men, he fears that which makes him look...smaller. FORE!
*Darth hits another ball, and it floats in the air, landing on the Crotch's head, and knocking him out. Darth looks into the camera.*
Darth: All will fear the power of the darksiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddde!
*Chesty picks up a mic.*
Chesty: Back to ringside with Monroe and Marcum.
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,853 Likes: 20
Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 47,853 Likes: 20 |
If you smelllll what The Nock is cooking!
More familiar music plays as The Nock walks to the ring
NM:"Finally The Nock has come back to SummerScam!"
Crowd roars
NM:"So MisterGayLA had a recieved a nice little surprise from Nott Hardy last week which made The Nock a happy man!
So its the great one,a Hollywood superstar & the most electrifying entertainer in sports history in one corner & quite possibly the most untalented gay boy in the history of the RDCW in the other!
Now GayLA,I have no problem with alternative life styles,you can do what you want,but if you so much as look at The Nocks strudle in this match,I will take your tag belt,shine it up real nice,turn it sideways.....AND SHOVE IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ARSE!........or maybe not as you might enjoy that too much!
Let it be known now that tonight The Knock,here at SummerScam,will become the new Intercuntinental champion!
IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLL........
....WHAT THE NOCK IS COOKING!"
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***Camera fades to another part of the locker room area,where Joey Biles is standing by with the Killer,who's wearing a blood red mask along with what looks like a butcher's uniform.***
JOEY:I know this will sound like a dumb question,but--
***Killer yanks the mic out of his hand.***
KILLER(talking in his usual electronically distorted voice):Then shut up,pussy boy.(Glares at the camera)Oakley,tonight I destroy your career the way you destroyed mine!After I've left you beaten,broken,and bloody,I'll take off my mask so you can look into the face of the man who drove you out of RDCW!And everybody else in this federation better watch their back,'cause I'm coming for all your asses one by one!Joe Mama,PenWing,Tommy Savitz,URG,Mister JLA,Nowhereman,Meeko,Spandex Monkey Man,Captain Sammitch,Wednesday,Captain Howdy,Johnny Evil,backwards7,Howlerama...you're all gonna be crippled for life when I'm done with you!!The Killer will rule RDCW!!!
***Laughs maniacally as he shoves the mic back in Joey's hands and disappears back into his dressing room.***
JOEY:Harsh words from Chris Oakley's opponent in tonight's grudge match.In just a moment,we'll hear from Chris himself,but first breaking news regarding the Los Monstros Azules tag team--just moments ago,I was informed by a confidential source close to the Bond Brigade that Senor Perdicion,the senior member of the team,will be out of action for at least six weeks due to an arm injury sustained in a gym workout early last night...We'll bring you more on this story as it unfolds,but right now let's go back to Madman Marcum and Mike "The Mouth" Monroe at ringside.
***Camera cuts back to Marcum and Monroe.***
MARCUM:Holy crap!When it rains,it pours,huh Monroe?
MONROE:Sad but true.This latest news,coming on top of Ian Bond's hospitalization two weeks ago,puts the Bond Brigade in a tight spot as its three remaining active members struggle to maintain their status as bona fide RDCW competitors.
MARCUM:Easier said than done....
MONROE:Right now,speaking of the Brigade,let's head over to their dressing room,where the Crotch is standing by with Chris Oakley.
"I'm out for blood--yours!"
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Camera fades to the Bond Brigade dressing room,where the Crotch is sitting next to Chris Oakley as Chris puts on what look like SWAT team fatigues and combat boots.
CROTCH:Before we talk about your match tonight against the Killer,what are your thoughts about the situation with your fellow Bond Brigade member Senor Perdicion?
CHRIS:Well,obviously I'm concerned about Perdicion,but I think he's going to surprise a lot of people...back in Mexico,he used to have far worse injuries in the ring and he'd be back in action two days later.He's tougher than the entrance exam at Yale Law.
CROTCH:OK,now on to the business at hand:tonight you'll be putting your career,possibly even your life,on the line against the masked psychopath known as the Killer.You've gone toe-to-toe with the Captain of Outer Space at Robblemania 20,you've fought in elimination chamber bouts,you've faced Joe Mama in a Fenway Park street fight,and you even have the distinction of being the only competitor in RDCW history to have taken on the entire RDCW roster in a single match...how does tonight's bout rate on the list of important matches in your career?
CHRIS:At the very least,I'd have to put it in the top ten;in fact,it might just be the most crucial bout I've ever wrestled.This could literally make or break me in RDCW....but more to the point,it'll mark the climax to a struggle I've been waging for six long years against a jealous bottom-feeder who's trying to make me the scapegoat for his own bad decisions and career missteps.
CROTCH:You seem surprisingly calm,given everything that's riding on this matchup.
CHRIS(with a conspiratorial grin at the camera):Let's just say that I have a little ace up my sleeve.
CROTCH:That'll do it from the Bond Brigage locker room--now back to ringside!
Camera cuts back to Madman Marcum and Mike "The Mouth" Monroe.
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Back in the company locker room, Charlie is pacing the locker room, as agitated as ever, whilst Howlerama get ready for their match later that night
Charlie: I don't believe this. You two have a shot at the tag championships...
Highwayman: Finally.
Charlie: And what do I get? NOTHING! Sweet fuckin' F.A! What's the big idea?
Howler: Charlie, it may have escaped your notice, but two weeks ago you were beaten to a bloody pulp by Joe Mama. Louie and Bill both think you need time to recuperate, and I agree with them.
Charlie: Screw that! I almost had that match in the bag, and you bloody know that!
Howler: Yeah, and I'm impressed, but the fact remains that you probably shouldn't step into the ring for another few weeks until you're back to peak fitness.
Charlie: Bullshit! Look, since Snarf and Joe got fired Family Busines will be looking for a new head boy, right? And I'm not gonna left out of the race, okay?
Howler: Do you really think that's gonna happen? You're the best guy around. Look, we've got to get ready for the match tonight. Stay away from ringside, okay? You need to recover.
Howlerama head out, leaving a quietly fuming Charlie behind
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*Backstage, the Crotch is standing next to Lor.*
Crotch: Well, Lor, you've finally got your one-on-one title match with Sneaky Bunny. To get this match, you had to go through a short list of some of the finest women wrestlers in the business, but you came out on top. To top all that, you got some free shots in after Sneaky Bunny was fired by Louie Bastardo! But, seriously, even though Sneaky is now on her own, that still doesn't change the fact that none of those women could defeat her in singles competition. What makes you think you have any chance of winning this match?
*The Crotch smiles as Lor looks him over. After a few seconds, Lor looks up innocently at him.*
Lor: Let me see if I've got this straight. You've got a cup, steel toe boots, and I'm guessing some sort of girdle to protect your gut, is that right, hunny?
Crotch: Hehe. That's right, hun. You can't pull the same trick on me twice. Now how are you going to get me to lean over so you can give me Punch & Judy? I'll tell you how, you can't!
*The Crotch continues to smile until Lor starts to giggle. His expression quickly changes as he becomes unsure of his safety.*
Lor:<very sweetly> What's the matter, hunny? It's not like I would just punch you in the face. I mean, you've been through enough already tonight, what with taking that golf ball to the head earlier.
*Lor starts to giggle again. After a few seconds, the Crotch smiles and laughs with her.*
Crotch: Of course you wouldn't just punch me in the face. I don't know what I was thinking.
*Lor suddenly lets a punch loose, right into the Crotch's jaw. He stumbles backwards and leans forwards as he yelps in pain. Lor grabs his head and delivers Punch & Judy. She then kneels down, flicks his hair out of his eyes and picks up the fallen mic, slowly and seductively.*
Lor: Hunny, you weren't thinking at all, at least not with brain number one! <wink>
*Lor gets back to her feet and looks sweetly into the camera.*
Lor: Like I said, Sneaky, eventually it comes down to just you and me. No more jobbers. No more hiding. No more Family to watch out for you. Tonight, you're on your own, darlin, and I'm going to make you wish you never held that title in the first place.
*Lor drops the mic and walks sassily off.*
Monroe: She scares me!
Marcum: You would be scared!
Monroe: I'm saying if I'm scared, Sneaky Bunny should be scared, too!
Marcum: And I'm saying you would be! Then again, maybe Sneaky Bunny should be scared right now. Before, Lor couldn't touch her. But now, Sneaky is all alone. She has no Family to turn to. She's become...dare I say it, fair game! Still, we have nothing to fear from Lor. But, just in case...(a tapping sound is heard).
Monroe: You're wearing a cup?
Marcum: You can never be too safe with that lone she-wolf running around back there!
Monroe: 
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Smeg head! 200+ posts
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Posts: 285 |
Harlem Nocturne blasts out
Monroe:"Holy cow,we havent heard this in years. Is it really him?"
Arnold Judas Rimmer walks down to the ring.
He is wearing his trademark sequined suit!
AJR:"Good evening ladies & gentlemen,its so nice to be back here in an RDCW ring!"
Crowd cheers!
AJR:"Its been far too long since I stood here before you fine fans!"
More cheers
AJR:"You are too kind! Anyway,as you all know,over the years I have successfully steered many of the past & present main eventers on the road to glory.
Now during my time away the from the business other lesser lights have tried to steal my place in the spotlight.
People like Sweet Willie Williams & Loser Bastardo think they have what it takes to lead a faction,yet all we have seen is breakdown upon breakdown upon breakdown in their ranks!
I'm here now to once again throw my hat into the ring as I am once again recruiting superstars who want to make it big in this business!
So guys,its time for you to step up........my office door is always open!"
Harlem Nocturne hits & Arnold leaves the ring!
If you're in trouble, he will save the day
He's brave and he's fearless, come what may
Without him, the mission would go astray
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer
Without him, life would be much grimmer
He's handsome, trim, and no one's slimmer
He will never need a Zimmer
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer
More reliable than a garden Strimmer
He's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner.
He's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer
Master of the wit and the repartee
His command of space directives is uncanny
How come he's such a genius? Don't ask me
Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer
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Backstage, The Tuesday Night Rockers are watching Rimmer's promo back on a monitor
James Fantastic: God-DAMN! Arnold J. Rimmer, back in the ring! How cool is that?!
The tommy's survey him sceptically
Tommy Savitz: Arnold...Rimmer?
Two-Ton Tommy: I thought he was an actor.
James Fantastic: He is! The guy's like a sensation! So damn great as a wrestler he crossed over into mainstream TV and made a killing! I'm gonna go get his autograph. See ya later boys!
Fantastic heads out of the locker room enthusiastically, leaving his partners looking bemused
Tomym Savitz: I'm only gonna ask you this, once, Big T. You've known him a while: is he always like this?
Two-Ton Tommy looks him straight in the eye
Two-Ton Tommy: Oh yeah.
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Lipstick Lesbian Tag Titles
Anibabes vs. PrincessElisa and Batwoman
The match was looking good for the Anibabes, as they took it to their opponents early on. With Batwoman trapped in their corner, they did everything they could to wear her down, but a botched Tiger Bomb allowed PrincessElisa to tag in, and it wasn't long before Bianca was forced to submit to ABSOLUTION.
Former Partners Collide!
Spandex Monkey Man vs. Tommy "The Surgeon" Savitz
Two old tag partners in tonight's bout, as Spandex Monkey Man faced off against The Croatian Sensation Tommy Savitz.
The match began with Tommy in charge, as he grounded SPAMM with a Scalpelplex before trying to locking in The Cardiac Arrest. However SPAMM grabbed the ropes to break the hold before hitting a springboard arm lariat to take Tommy to the mat before hitting a standing moonsault. He went for a pin, but Tommy kicked out on 1.
Monroe: It's gonna take more than that to beat The Doctor!
Marcum: Puh-lease! If The Bastardo's were in this match it'd already be over!
Tommy then went to hit SPAMM with a headscissor takedown, but SPAMM dropped him across the top rope. Tommy fell to the outside, and The RDCW's resident superhero followed up his advantage with an incredible slingshot 450 splash.
Monroe: BUHGAWB! Did you see that?
The move took a lot out of SPAMM, however, and he had to use the ring apron to get back to his feet. He then rolled Tommy back into the ring and went for a Spandex Supersault, but Tommy moved at the last moment.
Tommy then took control of the match, dominating with a series of punishing suplexes, including multiple Operating Tables. He attempted to bridge the last of these into a pin, but SPAMM kicked out on two. However, Tommy came right back by locking in The X- Ray. SPAMM looked as if he was about to tap out, but once again managed to get his hand on the ropes to break the hold.
Monroe: Tommy's holds just aren't working!
As SPAMM got to his feet Tommy kicked him the stomach, and hoisted him up for an uncharacteristic Running Powerbomb. However SPAMM reversed this into a Hurracanrana at the last minute. Tommy landed on his back, and rolled through so his body was draped across the middle rope.
Monroe: Something tells me we're gonna see the latest incarnation of Spandex Monkey Man's finisher, folks!
Marcum: You're kidding me! He changes the damn thing as often as I change my shirts!
Sure enough, SPAMM let forth an almighty cry of 'SPANDEX MONKEY MAAAAAN! before hitting a lightning quick Tiger Feint Kick. As Tommy crashed to the mat SPAMM leapt onto the top rope and hit an incredible springboard Frog Splash, going for a pin and securing a pin 1-2-3!
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,506 Likes: 64 |
With James Fantastic and Two Ton Tommy already in the ring, "I Want It All" By Queen plays through the Cheesedome, and Howlerama makes their way to the ring! As this happens, the camera cuts to Madman Marcum who is waiting outside the Allied Powers locker room.
Marcum: Here they come! JLA, Howdy, any last comments?
JLA: Yeah, this is bullshit! We have to defend against two teams at once? AND Howdy and I don’t even have to get pinned to lose the belts? This is another ploy by theproctor to take away our gold. PLUS I have to defend my IC Belt against…(JLA turns to Howdy) what’s his angle today?
Howdy: A Rock rip-off!
JLA: Yeah, NowhereRock, or whatever his name is this week. But as we can all see, I have his old ally Captain Howdy in my corner to lend me advice! Nobody knows Nowhereman better than Captain Howdy, and that knowledge of my opponent will guide me to another IC victory!
Marcum: Howdy, you’re taking sides with JLA?
Howdy: Uh…piss off! We got a tag match to get to!
As Rob’s Killer Instinct Theme Music plays, MisterJLA and Captain Howdy, the defending RDCW World Tag Team Champions, walk through the curtain. To their surprise, they see that Howlerama and The Tuesday Night Rockers are already brawling in the ring! Referee Lothar is running back and forth in the ring, trying to establish some order in vain. He calls for the bell, and the match is underway?
World Tag Titles Triple Threat: (Champs) Allied Powers (MisterJLA/Captain Howdy) vs. Howlerama (Howler/ The Highwayman) vs. Tuesday Night Rockers(James Fantastic/Two Ton Tommy)
Monroe: I have to say, this is a very unusual move for Lothar to start the match, but I suppose he’s given up hope on getting order in the ring!
As Howlerama and The Rockers trade kicks and punches, The Allied Powers stand in the middle of the ring aisle. They point and laugh at the carnage, until The Highwayman places James Fantastic in the “Stand and Deliver”, his version of the Walls of Jericho.
Howdy: FUCK! We better get in there and break the hold! If Fantastic taps, we lose the belts!
JLA and Howdy storm the ring, and target The Highwayman. They work him over until Fantastic gets to his feet, and throws JLA over the top rope, and follows after him. Moments later, Two Ton Tommy and Howler are finally forced out by Lothar, leaving Captain Howdy and The Highwayman as the legal wrestlers.
Monroe: We have two legal participants in the ring! And right on cue, here’s Marcum back from the locker room!
Marcum: What did I miss?
Monroe: Plenty!
Howdy and The Highwayman appear to be evenly matched, as they exchange chops, punches, and kicks. Just when it seems that one has the advantage, the other mounts an impressive offense.
Howdy finally gains an edge, and throws The Highwayman into the ropes, and greets him on the rebound with a vicious running clothesline. He follows up with a knee drop, then drags his opponent to the Allied corner, and tags in JLA.
The Powers waste no time in going for a Double Howdy Slam!
Marcum: A double chokesla…I mean a Double Howdy Slam! Impressive!
As JLA goes for the cover, James Fantastic scrambles into the ring and breaks the count at two.
Monroe: Even though that’s not his partner, it was a smart move to break the pin! If he hadn’t saved his enemy, the match would be over!
A pissed-off JLA tries to capitalize on the weakened condition of Highwayman, by attempting a series of slams and suplexes. His completes them with minimal success.
Monroe: That’s tough to watch! He’s botching all of his moves! How does someone botch a bodyslam?
Marcum: Shut it! He’s still learning how to wrestle! It wasn’t too long ago that he only knew how to use one move: his kick to the balls finisher, known as “The Final Justice!”
Next, JLA tries a sleeper hold, but The Highwayman grabs JLA by the arms, and flips him over his shoulders onto the canvas. He then makes the tag to his partner, Howler.
Howler presses the attack, and lands a few suplexes of his own.
Monroe: Now THAT’s how a suplex is supposed to be done!
Sensing weakness, Howler measures JLA for “The Full Moon”, his Clothesline from Hell!
Still wanting to unleash more of his arsenal, Howler then connects with the “Wolfman Slam”, an Irish whip and Powerslam combo! He holds on after the powerslam, hoping for the pinfall, but again James Fantastic breaks another pin at two.
He’s the fastest one in the match, so he’s getting in there first to break the pins!
JLA gets to his feet before Howler, and clubs him the head with a running elbow. JLA then tags in…Two Ton Tommy?
Marcum: A bit of strategy there! He just tagged in one of his opponents hoping that Tommy and Howler beat the piss out of each other!
Tommy wastes no time in showing of his strength, by landing a powerbomb, gorilla press, and other impressive power moves. He looks winded after the display, and tags in his cruiserweight partner, James Fantastic.
Fantastic dazzles the crowd with an array of high-flying moves. With Howler stunned on the mat, Fantastic applies “The Class Act”, his Mexican Surfboard!
Before Howler can think of tapping out, JLA dives through the ropes and breaks the hold. Two Ton Tommy responds by slowly lumbering into the ring, picking up JLA, and throwing him into Captain Howdy who ran into the ring in his attempt to stop Tommy! The force of the throw causes JLA and Howdy to roll out of the ring, and Lothar tries his best to persuade Tommy to go back onto the apron.
With Lothar distracted, The Highwayman sneaks into the ring and begins to pummel an unsuspecting James Fantastic.
The Powers regroup, and each member reaches under the bottom rope, and grabs one of Two Ton Tommy’s legs. They pull with all their might, and send Tommy to the mat face first. The Powers then drag him out the ring, and begin to stomp away and drop punches on him.
Monroe: Look at this! The Powers are beating up on Two Ton Tommy outside of the ring, while Howlerama are double-teaming Fantastic inside of the ring!
Wait a minute…NURIKO’S BACK! NURIKO’S BACK! NURIKO’S BACK!
Marcum: Yes, she did have a nice “back”.
Monroe: No you idiot, look: she’s running down to the ring!
Nuriko runs to the Allied corner, and attacks JLA and Howdy, as Lothar removes The Highwayman from the ring. Nuriko focuses her attention on Howdy, and JLA crawls onto the ring apron.
Monroe: Look at her take Howdy to school! She’s fighting for her partners, the Tuesday Night Rockers!
Marcum: Ah, she sucker punched him! And she’s still sucker punching him…
Inside the ring, Fantastic catches The Highwayman with a dropkick, just as he takes the ring apron. The Highwayman hits the floor hard.
Fantastic then focuses on the legal man, Howler, and Irish whips him to the ropes. As Holwer rebounds off the ropes, JLA slaps his back. Lothar makes the signal for “tag”, but Fantastic did not see this.
Fantastic catches Howler with a dropkick, that sends him through the ropes. Fantastic stops to catch his breath, and he doesn’t notice MisterJLA who slides into the ring.
Monroe: Oh no! He didn’t see the “blind tag”! He thinks he has time to rest, and doesn’t’ realize that JLA is the legal man!
JLA rushes toward JF, grabs him by the throat, and slams him to the mat.
Monroe: HOWDYSLAM! HOWDYSLAM! HOWDYSLAM!
With Howdy being pummeled by Nuriko, Two Ton Tommy knocked out on the floor thanks to the Powers’ double team assault, and both members of Howlerama knocked to the floor due to JF dropkicks, JLA and JF are alone in the ring.
Monroe: I guess that’s it. Nobody can break the pin now!
Marcum: Why isn’t Lothar calling for the bell? Howdy’s getting killed out there! Isn’t that a DQ?
Monroe: I guess Lothar hasn’t seen it yet!
Instead of going for the pin, JLA grabs JF’s foot, and spins him over.
Monroe: What’s he doing? It’s…an…
ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK!
Marcum: Ha! That’s the “Justice Lock of America!” JLA’s signature submission hold! He told me about that hold before the match when the camera went off!
JF screams out in pain. After a few moments, JF has no choice but to tap out.
James White: The Winners, and still World Tag Team Champions: IC Champion MisterJLA, and Captain Howdy: The Allied Powers!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Career Grudge Match
Chris Oakley vs. The Killer
The Killer hits the ring to the strains of "Angel of Death", accompanied by his new manager Justun Bearable. The crowd boos both men lustily, and at least one person can be heard shouting death threats in the masked heel's direction; Killer just flips the guy off and shows the crowd a mock headstone with the words "CHRIS OAKLEY'S CAREER REST IN PEACE". Killer is about to take to the mic when "Rooster" erupts from the Cheesedome PA system and Chris Oakley, accompanied by El Daga, Mario Barini, and Hombre Lagarto, marches down the aisle to insanely loud pops from the crowd.
Marcum: I don't believe this! Oakley's got an unfair advantage in numbers!
Monroe: All he's doing is making sure that that damn little coward Justun Bearable can't interfere in this match!
No sooner does the timekeeper ring the bell than Chris Oakley tears into the Killer like a rabid dog. He assaults the masked menace with everything that isn't nailed down--and several things that are--while Barini, Lagarto,and Daga get in a staredown with Justun Bearable outside the ring. The Killer tries to take Oakley out with the Body Count, but Chris counters it into a Full Metal Jacket;he then signals the crowd that he's going to apply the Snuff the Rooster on Killer, prompting more insanely loud pops.
Monroe:Here we go...the Snuff the Rooster!!
Marcum: If he gets the Killer to tap out to this,this place is gonna erupt like Mount St. Helens!!!
As Killer starts to stagger back to his feet, Chris clamps him in the Snuff the Rooster while Hombre Lagarto and Mario Barini chase Justun Bearable back to the locker room; senior referee Lothar of the Hill People raises Killer's hand once, twice, three times....then signals to the timekeeper to ring the bell because the match is over. The RDCW fans give Chris a huge ovation as he is proclaimed the winner by ring announcer James White; Chris then pulls Killer into a sitting position while El Daga starts to undo the laces on Killer's mask.
Marcum: This is it,folks!!
Monroe: At last we'll get to know the true identity of the masked maniac who has been stalking Chris Oakley for six long years...
As soon as El Daga has finished untying the laces of Killer's mask, Chris pulls the mask off with a flourish to reveal none other than...his Robblemania XX opponent, the Captain of Outer Space!
Marcum: SON OF A BITCH!!! I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG!!!
Monroe: The Captain of Outer Space,revealed as the true identity behind the Killer!! But his plot to take Chris Oakley down has backfired with a vengeance!!!!
Shocked murmurs reverberate throughout the Cheesedome as Rooster blasts over the speakers.
Hardcore Porn Championship
Darth (C) vs. El Superbeasto
Del Castillo's "Back From the Grave" blasts over the speakers as El Superbeasto makes his way to the ring carrying-
Monroe: Is that a kitchen sink?
Marcum: He did say he was going to give it new meaning!
As El Superbeasto walks up the ring steps, the lights go out, and "Imperial March" begins to play. Lightning strikes the ring posts and the center of the ring, and when the lights return, there is a golf bag alone in the center of the ring. The "Imperial March" continues to play as a red mist rises from the ground. El Superbeasto cautiously enters the ring, and holds the sink at the ready. Darth begins to rise from beneath the stage.
Monroe: Golf clubs in the ring, a kitchen sink, what else are these two monsters going to use tonight?
Marcum: The question is, what aren't they going to use?
Darth makes his way to the ring, and as he climbs up the ring steps, El Superbeasto runs at him with the sink. Darth holds up his hand, as at it makes contact with the sink, it shatters it.
Monroe: Buhgawb!
Marcum: I'm not going to have to break out the Lysol, am I?
El Superbeasto backs away as Darth enters the ring. The two stare at each other as the bell rings. Finally, El Superbeasto makes a run at Darth with a Giant Headbutt, but Darth again holds up his hand, and the impact causes El Superbeasto to fall backward, onto the mat. El Superbeasto holds his head in pain, as Darth stands over him, in a golf stance. Suddenly, a nine iron slips out of Darth's sleave and into his grip, and he pulls back and yells "FORE!" Darth then swings right at El Superbeasto's groin.
Monroe: Buhbawb! It was a golf club all this time!
Marcum: That's a relief!
Monroe looks over to Marcum, who shrugs.
Marcum: What?
Darth tosses the now bent golf club aside as El Superbeasto rolls on the mat in pain. Darth pulls out another club from the bag, and looks to take a swing at the giant luchadore's head. In an act of desperation, El Superbeasto climbs to all fours, and launches himself in a spear at Darth, sending him hard into the corner. The entire ring shakes from the impact. Darth releases the club, and El Superbeasto takes one into his own hands from the bag, striking Darth with a-
Fat Retard: SLOBERKNOCKER TO THE STERNUM! THE STERNUM!
Darth falls forward after repeated blows from El Superbeasto, who then begins working on his back. Darth manages to roll out of the ring. El Superbeasto follows him out, and grabs a chair from ringside. He stands over Darth, and strikes his back with the chair. El Superbeasto then lifts Darth up and walks over to the Spanish announce table, sending Darth through with a sidewalk slam. El Superbeasto leans over to lift Darth again, but Darth hits him with a chair, and El Superbeasto backs away, again holding his head. Darth rises to his feat, still holding the chair.
Monroe: Oh no! It looks like the Sith Lord is about to completely lose it on the giant luchadore!
With El Superbeasto's back to him, Darth swings the chair, hitting his back and dropping the chair. The giant luchardore's hand goes instinctively to the spot Darth hit, and Darth grabs his head, falling backwards into a reverse DDT.
Monroe: Sithspawn!
Darth gets back to his feet, and lifts El Superbeasto up. He rolls him into the ring, and then reaches under, pulling out some trashcans. Darth throws them into the ring, along with the lids, and slides under the ropes. El Superbeasto grabs one of the cans as he gets back to his own feet, and as Darth charges him with another can, he flies at Darth, knocking Darth's trashcan into his face. Darth manages to stay on his feet, and El Superbeasto connects with a Giant Headbutt, sending Darth to the mat. He follows that up with a Giant Elbowdrop. El Superbeasto then runs to the ropes and jumps backwards off of them for the Giantsault. Unable to withstand the impact, the ring collapses. Lothar finds himself outside the ring, and he tries to make his way to the center to make a count. Precious seconds are wasted, and when Lothar finally sees that Darth is pinned and counts to two, Darth throws El Superbeasto off of him.
Monroe: Buhgawb! How can the match continue without a ring?
Marcum: This is hardcore! They don't need a ring!
Both monsters get back to their feet, and as they turn to face each other, they simultaneously grab each other's throats. As they struggle to left each other into a chokeslam, Darth pulls El Superbeasto closer to him. With lightning speed, Darth turns their deadlock into a Sabrestretch. Darth goes to execute the Darkside Slam, but El Suberbeasto grabs his head and turns it into a DDT.
Monroe: Buhgawb! I've never seen anything like this!
Marcum: El Superbeasto is unbeatable!
El Superbeasto rolls Darth over, but Darth kicks him out of the remains of the ring, and sends him towards the announce table. Monroe and Marcum quickly jump to their feet and back away, as Darth approaches the giant luchadore.
Marcum: You don't think he's going to-
Monroe: I don't think anything!
Marcum: That's true!
The two monsters trade punches as they climb on top of the table. Darth kicks El Superbeasto's knee, causing him to drop. As Darth reaches for his throat, El Superbeasto picks up one of the moniters, and smashes it into Darth's head. As Darth staggers back, El Superbeasto grabs his throat, and chokeslams him through the table. This time, Lothar is there to make the count, and El Superbeasto becomes the new Hardcore Porn Champion!
Women's Boobie Belt Championship
Sneaky Bunny (C) vs. Lor
Sneaky Bunny and Lor lock up in a series of holds and roll-ups as the match gets underway. Neither can get an early pin, and after trading several suplexes, Sneaky connects with the Bunny Flop. She tries to hit the Taxidermy, but Lor gets her knees up, and Sneaky rolls off of her clutching her gut. Lor gets back to her feet and delivers a couple more suplexes before locking in the Harlequinaid.
Monroe: No way Sneaky breaks this hold! With all the suplexes executed in this match, she can't have the strength!
As Lothar looks to Sneaky's right hand, he doesn't notice her left hand pull something out from her pocket. Lothar watches Sneaky's arm fall, and that's when the Bunny uses brass knuckles on the side of Lor's forehead. Lor releases the hold, and Sneaky falls forward, sliding the brass knuckles out of the ring.
Marcum: She's still a sneaky one! Lothar never saw the hit!
Monroe: But was that the smart move to make?
Marcum: Of course it was! She's still the champ, and the match is still on!
Sneaky crawls to the corner ropes and uses them to get back to her feet. As Lor begins to approach her, Sneaky quickly climbs the ropes, and hits Lor with the Bunny Hop. Sneaky quickly goes for the pin, but Lor kicks out at two. Lor is slow to get up, and blood is pouring down the side of her head.
Monroe: Oh no, Lor is losing a lot of blood! This is not looking good for the lone she-wolf!
Lor makes a run at Sneaky, who exectutes a-
Fat Retrad: DROP TOE HOLD! SLOBBERKNOCKER!
Lor rolls out of the ring to collect herself, and Sneaky patiently waits as Lothar begins to count. As Lor gets back to her feet, something catches her eye. She bends down, and picks up the brass knuckles, stained with her blood. Sneaky Bunny doesn't notice this, and Lor slips the brass knuckes onto her own hand. She then slips into the ring before Lothar can finish his count. Sneaky turns to face her, and Lor punches her in the stomack with the brass knuckles. Lor then pulls back to punch Sneaky in the face, but Lothar sees the weapon and tries to stop her. His attempt is only mildly successful, as Lor instead punches him in the face. Lothar drops and signals the bell while clutching his nose.
Monroe: Oh no, Lor just got herself disqualified!
Marcum: That maniac! She took out Lothar, and now Sneaky is all alone! Someone has to stop this!
Sneaky tries to get away, but Lor stops her and punches her in the head with the brass knuckes. She then slips out of the ring, and goes for the Boobie Belt. James White tries to stop her, but he gets a punch to the gut. Lor grabs the belt and slips back into the ring.
Marcum: That ain't right! What did James do to deserve that? How could Lothar allow Lor to bring that dangerous weapon into the ring?
Monroe: If you remember, it was Sneaky Bunny who brought the brass knuckles into this match! And now she's going to pay for it in blood!
Lor places the Boobie Belt on the mat infront of the now bloody Sneaky Bunny. She helps Sneaky back to her feet, and gives her another punch to the stomach. Sneaky bends over and spits up some blood. Lor places Sneaky in a standing head scissors, and hooks both of her arms. She then drops, sending Sneaky into the Boobie Belt with an underhook facedriver (Pedigree).
Monroe: Buhgawb! Lor just had the Last Laugh!
As a group of referees finally make their way down the ramp, Lor stands up. She seductively blows them a kiss, and then slips out of the ring, disappearing into the crowd.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
Texas Death Match
Grimm vs. Pig Iron
*Cut to the ring, James White stands, mic in hand.
JW: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Texas Death Match!"
*Crowd applauds as White continues.
JW: "Following a pinfall, the pinned wrestler will have to answer a ten count. The match will continue until one man is unable to answer. The first contestant. . ."
*Sirens blare throughout the CheeseDome as Countdown to Xtinction begins and Pig Iron walks out to the ring. He's wearing a shirt emblazoned with the phrase We Want Blood!
JW: "Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIrrroooooonnnnn!!!!!!!"
PI steps into the ring and pulls back his hood. He rips apart his shirt and tosses it to the rabid fans.
JW: "And his opponent. . ."
*Camera cuts to a side stage where the band Maltoro begins to play.
WALKIN’ THROUGH THE DESERT (WITH A CROW)
it was sunday mornin and i found myself alone
walkin through the desert with a crow
i found me a shovel and i dug myself a hole
walkin through the desert with a crow
at times i thought that i would die
but i left those days somewhere behind
there’s only so much a man can take
before he knows
he knows he’s gonna break
cuz a man’s gotta take what he can take
when he’s got one foot down in the grave
you never know where the road is gonna end
sometimes i think this bird
this bird’s my only friend
chorus:
walkin through the desert with a crow
i murdered my past life and i covered up its bones
walkin through the desert with a crow
i gathered my possessions and i hit a lonely road
walkin through the desert with a crow
there’s been nights i drank myself to sleep
i lay my head on nails with bottles at my feet
when i awoke i thought i that was free
but there he’d be
that bird
that bird that follows me
a man ain’t meant to be alone
with demons scratching at his soul
if i had wings i’d probably fly
if i had tears i’d probably cry
*Grimm walks out onto the stage wearing a black duster coat and black cowboy hat over his usual gear. He motions to the band who signals back as he makes his way to the ring.
JW: "From the Asylum, he is one half of the Dark Lords. . .This. . .is. . .GRIMM!!!!!!!"
*Grimm steps into the ring and he and Pig Iron stand nose to nose as Lothar runs down the rules and checks each man. The bell rings and Grimm and Pig Iron began unloading on each other with punches to the head.
PI takes a shot and Grimm grabs his arm slaps on a fujiwara armbar, taking him down to the mat. PI rolls out and reverses into a hammerlock and tosses Grimm into the ropes. He goes for a running clothesline but Grimm ducks under and rebounds and hits a Cactus Clothesline, taking both men to the outside of the ring.
Grimm got to his feet first, and pulled James White's chair out from under him. He walks over to PI and hits him in the ribs with the chair. PI doubles over and Grimm drops the chair to the ground. He grabs PI and goes for a 138, but PI reverses and backdrops Grimm onto the floor. PI grabs the chair and delivers a legdrop facebuster onto Grimm!
Monroe: BUHGAWB!!!!
PI goes for a pin, but Grimm gets his shoulder up at two. PI climbs up onto the ring apron and delivers a running elbow/chairshot onto Grimm on the floor! He goes for a pin and Lothar makes the three count.
MarcuM: He pinned Grimm!
Monroe: Now Grimm has to answer the ten count to continue the match!
Lothar counts inside the ring as Pig Iron stands inside, chair in hand. At the count of five, Grimm gets to his feet and pulls himself into the ring. He motions to PI, who hits him with a chair shot to the head! Grimm is opened up, and bleeding, but smiles at PI. PI hands him the chair, and Grimm delivers a brutal chairshot to PI's skull! PI smiles and motions for another one and Grimm delivers!!! PI drops down to the mat. Grimm picks him up delivers the 138!
He pulls PI over to the apron and gorilla presses him, dropping him throat first onto the ring ropes! PI bounces back into the ring and hits Grimm with an elbow to the head. Grimm falls back and PI tosses him the chair. Grimm grabs the chair in mid air, and PI moves in with a Roaring Elbow, slamming the chair into Grimm's face! Both men are busted wide open now and blood is dripping profusely onto the mat!
PI goes outside and looks under the ring and pulls out a ladder. He sets up the ladder between the ring and the guardrails and places Grimm on top of it. He climbs onto the apron and goes for the Swine-A-Sault!
Monroe: What an impact!
Fans: RDCW! RDCW! RDCW! RDCW!
MarcuM: RDC FUCKING W!!!
PI tries for another pin attempt, but Grimm reverses for a two count. He kicks PI in the gut and backs into the ropes. He bounces up and hits a superkick, knocking PI into the corner! He picks PI up and places him on the top turnbuckle. He climbs up and delivers the Kobe Special, chokeslamming PI to the arena floor!
Grimm goes for a slingshot legdrop to the floor! Groggily, he rolls over onto PI and makes a pin attempt. Lothar counts to three. The bell rings as Grimm attempts to pull himself to his feet. Lothar begins making the ten count as Grimm rolls back into the ring and makes a crucifix pose.
Lothar makes the count, the fans counting along with him, as PI struggles to his feet! PI makes it to his feet at the count of 8 and pulls himself into the ring by the ring ropes.
Grimm moves in around and puts PI into a Dragon Sleeper. He locks it in and holds him down.
Monroe: Grimm is relentless, Madman!
MarcuM: He's like a shark, moving in for the kill.
Grimm delivers multiple forearms to PI's chest, blistering it red. He goes outside and pulls a table out from under the ring. He lays the table up in one of the ring corners and whips PI into it! He follows up with a running avalanche splash, smashing the table into bits! Both men lay on the mat, as the fans exploded, chanting WE WANT BLOOD!! WE WANT BLOOD!!!
Monroe: These two are giving it their all and the fans are appreciative!
Grimm pulls himself up and signals for something.
Monroe: Is this it?
MarcuM: Is he gonna. . .?
Grimm stands over PI and locks in the Kata Hajima!
Monroe: That's the Tazmission!
MarcuM: No, it's the Grimmlock Version 2! He's going after Pig Iron's neck!
Grimm holds PI in the holds for several minutes as Lothar checks PI's arm. PI's arm drops and Lothar calls for Grimm to release the hold. Grimm releases and begins to go for a pin, but changes his mind.
He pulls PI outside of the ring and drapes him onto the announce table. He climbs up onto it and delivers a massive Triple 6 Bomb, destroying the table! Grimm pins PI in the midst of the table wreckage. Lothar counts to three and Grimm gets to his feet. He climbs back into the ring as Lothar counts. The crowd counts along as Lothar reaches 10 and signals for the end of the match!
Monroe: Buhgawb, Madman! These two men gave it their all here tonight!
MarcuM: This one of the most brutal contests I've ever seen, Mouth! I can't believe these two guys are friends and beat the hell out of each other like this!
Grimm's music plays as Lothar raises his hand and declares him the winner. Grimm stands on the turnbuckles and does the crucifix pose as the fans applaud.
PI rolls into the ring and pulls Grimm down. The two stare at each other again for several moments. There is a long, slow pause as the fans wait to see what happens. Finally, Pig Iron extends his hand. Grimm takes his hand as the two show mutual respect. Grimm raises PI's hand as the crowd goes wild.
Last edited by madman marcum; 2005-09-11 4:46 PM.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,506 Likes: 64
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,506 Likes: 64 |
Once again Madman Marcum is standing outside the Allied Powers' locker room.
Out walks Intercuntinental title holder MisterJLA, with Captain Howdy.
Marcum: JLA! Congratulations on the Tag Team Title defense! Now's it time for you to defend the Intercuntinental title against the first champion EVAR, Nowhereman!
JLA: Isn't that something? Howdy and I just had to take care of *two* tag teams, now I have to defend the IC Belt? What's next? Does the RDCW want me to bring the DCMB Title out of retirement, and fight Oakers again? Fuck.
Marcum: Tonight we saw the "Justice Lock of America" for the first time. Do you plan on using it against Nowhereman to make him tap?
JLA: Yes. I plan on showing everyone that The Crippler Cuntface is an inferior submission hold. Ha. Cuntface. How appropriate, him being a real cunt and all. And now he wants the Cunt Championship? No way.
I'm the greatest CUNT holder ever!
Intercuntinental title: MisterJLA (Champion) vs. Nowhereman
If you smelllll what The Nock is cooking!
Nowherem...The Nock walks to the ring, looking very similar to another famous wrestler from years past. He rips a mic out James White's hand and begins to speak.
Finally, The Nock comes back to Roboken!
And The Nock says this, JLA, know your....
The Nock is interrupted by Rob's Killer Instinct Theme Music, as MisterJLA and Captain Howdy take the ramp. JLA stops and holds his chest as he approaches the ring.
JLA: FUCK! I'm in pain here, Howdy.
Howdy: Oh come on, his Rock impersonation ain't that bad!
JLA: No you dunce, not that! Although I admit, it's not half bad...I'm talking about our match earlier! I took a Clothesline from Hell, a powerslam, suplexes, Two Ton Tommy threw me like a football, and Nuriko hit me with some sucker punches!
I can't get in there and wrestle him!
Just then, Nowhereman reaches through the ropes, and pulls JLA into the ring! Lothar calls for the bell, and we're off!
Nowhereman gains the early advantage, and batters an already injured MisterJLA. Before long, he locks the champ in a Crippler Cuntface!
Monroe: A CUNTFACE! A CUNTFACE! A CUNTFACE!
Marcum: Don't say that about The Nock!
Monroe: I was talking about his submission hold, The Crippler Cuntface! Pay attention!
After being trapped in the hold for what seemed like ages, JLA manages to reach the ropes. As Lothar forces The Nock to break the hold, JLA catches his opponent with the dreaded "thumb to the eye"!
JLA now lands some glancing punches, chops, and kicks. He then lands a clothesline, which hurts him more than it hurts The Nock.
Monroe: Oh! He bent his arm back on that one!
Not discouraged, JLA completes some suplexes, and a back body drop...that sends Nowhereman into Lothar, knocking him out.
As Nowhereman gets to his feet, JLA delivers "The Final Justice", his swift kick to the balls!
JLA goes for the cover, but Lothar's knocked out.
Monroe: He's out again! There's a surprise!
JLA tries to revive Lothar, allowing The Nock to ambush him from behind!
Monroe: Never turn your back on Nowhereman, or you could wind up in a lot of pain!
Marcum: Many guys will agree with you there!
As JLA and Nowhereman begin to trade punches, Captain Howdy, tag team partner to JLA and long time associate to Nowhereman, stands on the ring apron. He places his boot on the top rope.
Monroe: He wants JLA to run the Nock's head into his boot! That's a tag maneuver they use all the time!
Marcum: Or maybe he wants The Nock to do that to JLA...they've been allies longer!
JLA staggers his enemy with another vicious "thumb to the eye" and Irish whips The Nock toward Howdy's boot...but at the last possible moment, The Nock reverses the Irish whip, and sends the IC Champ head first into the boot! JLA's head hits it at full speed, and the impact launches Howdy off the apron.
As JLA falls backward, The Nock rolls him up.
Lothar suddenly wakes up, and as The Nock places his feet on the second rope for added leverage, he gets the three count.
The winner and new IC Champ: Nowhereman.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 382 |
*Backstage, the Crotch is standing with Joe Mama.*
Crotch: Joe, the word backstage is that you are now being called the Lone Wolf. How does being fired by Louie Bastardo impact your career now?
Joe: It doesn't. Not in the least. I've always been an intense competitor. I've always done whatever it took to win my matches. If anything, the fact that I quit the Family has forced Louie and his members to improve themselves. It gives me a feeling of pride to know that my influence over Louie Bastardo and Family Business is that far-reaching.
As far as what people are calling me, they can call me whatever they want. After my match tonight against PenWing, they'll have to call me "Heavyweight Cheese Champion".
Crotch: Speaking of which, tonight you're finally facing off against PenWing for the first time in singles competition, and it's for the Heavyweight Cheese Title! I think I speak for everyone when I ask, who is going to win this match?
Joe: Have the ass-whippings that you've received from Lor messed up your hearing? Let me say it again: Tonight I WILL beat PenWing. I WILL pin him in that ring. And I WILL walk out of SummerScam as the new Heavyweight Cheese Champion. The end result, like the match itself, is inevitable.
*The Crotch notices PenWing walking down the hall and calls out to him.*
Crotch: PenWing! Tonight you defend the Big Cheese Belt against Joe Mama! Any comments?
*PenWing is about to say something when "Faded" starts playing over the speakers. PenWing smiles and looks at Joe.*
PenWing: Looks like you get to enter the ring first. And this time, you don't have any excuses waiting for you out there.
*Joe smiles back at PenWing.*
Joe: Looks like you're right. No excuses. No distractions. Nothing keeping me from winning that Title. Why don't you take a minute to enjoy the belt one last time?
*Joe walks to the stage entrance disappears as he makes his way to the ring.*
Crotch: Do you have a last minute response?
*The fans and sing along as "We Will Rock You" starts playing. PenWing looks out to the stage.*
PenWing: This will be a match to remember.
*PenWing walks to the stage and out of the Crotch's sight.*
Heavyweight Cheese Championship
PenWing (C) vs. Joe Mama
In the ring, Joe turns to face the entrance ramp as PenWing walks onto the stage.
Monroe: Joe Mama doesn't look too happy right now.
Marcum: You wouldn't be too happy either if you just got fired! I'm surprised he even bothered to show up tonight!
PenWing makes his way down the ramp, but when he gets to the ring steps, Joe Mama baseball slides under the ropes, knocking PenWing off the steps and onto the ground. Joe quickly pulls PenWing to his feet, and pulls him into the ring steps. PenWing flips over them, landing awkwardly on his back on the other side. Joe grabs PenWing's head and slams the back of it into the steps. Lothar yells at him from inside the ring, but he is powerless to stop Joe Mama's brutal attack. The crowd's boos almost drown out the announce team.
Monroe: Buhgawb! The match hasn't officially started yet, and Joe Mama is already tearing into the champ!
Marcum: He used to be the Family Enforcer! He knows what it takes to get the job done!
Joe pulls PenWing back to his feet, and whips him into the ring post. He then guides PenWing to the barrier, and tries to slam his head down onto it, but PenWing manages to get an elbow up, into Joe's face. PenWing then slams Joe face first into the barrier. The crowd starts to cheer. As Joe recovers, PenWing runs him, back first, into the ring apron. Joe grabs onto the ropes to keep himself from falling, and as PenWing backs away, he pulls himself up and kicks PenWing back, into the barrier. He follows up with a viscous spear, and PenWing falls forward, holding his back. Joe lifts PenWing into a Gorilla Press, but as he tries to execute the East Coast Hammer, PenWing twists it into a devastating DDT. The crowd roars. PenWing slowly gets back to his feet, and pulls Joe up. He slides him into the ring. PenWing then walks up the ring steps, and climbs the corner ropes. He jumps up for the High Holy Howe, but Joe roles out of the way, and PenWing falls hard on the mat. Lothar finally signals the bell.
Monroe: The match is finally underway!
Marcum: It's gonna cost PenWing for missing that move!
Joe gets back to his feet, and he tries to lift PenWing into an Enforcer, but PenWing turns that into another DDT. PenWing rolls Joe over and covers him, but Joe kicks out at two. PenWing gets back to his feet and drops an elbow on Joe, he then tries to lock him in the Sharpshooter, but Joe kicks him into the corner. Joe gets back up and runs at PenWing with a flying forearm. Joe then takes PenWing's arm and tries to whip him into the opposite corner, but PenWing takes control and whips Joe into the ropes. Joe bounces off and PenWing nails him with a Spin-o-rama.
Mornoe: Super Drag 'n' Whip!
PenWing again tries for the Sharpshooter, and this time he locks it in. Joe struggles against the hold, and makes his way to the ropes. Lothar orders PenWing to break the hold, and Joe roles out of the ring. PenWing quickly follows him out. PenWing runs up behind Joe for a bulldog, but Joe ducks and pushes PenWing into the barrier.
Monroe: Not again! The match is supposed to take place inside the ring!
Marcum: You want to go and explain that Joe Mama? Do you? I didn't think so!
PenWing is lying on the ground, his face a bloody mess, as Joe slips in and out of the ring to break the count. PenWing is slowly getting back to his feet when Joe comes up behind him, and he nails Joe with an elbow to the face. Joe grabs PenWing's arm and tries to push him into the ring post, but PenWing pulls Joe instead, and executes a Spin-o-rama. The kick connects with the back of Joe's head, and it sends him face first into the post. Joe falls back, his face covered in blood. PenWing slides him back into the ring, and slips in after him. PenWing helps Joe back to his feet, and the two begin trading blows. PenWing kicks Joe in the gut, and grabs him for a quick belly-to-belly suplex. PenWing goes for the pin, but Joe kicks out at two. The two get back to their feet, and PenWing tries to execute belly-to-belly suplex, but it's Joe who hits the move. Joe then locks in the Joe Mama-Lock. PenWing fights against the hold, but he slowly starts to fade.
Marcum: It's over! PenWing is going to pass out any moment now!
Lothar lifts PenWing's arm up, and it falls. He lifts it up a second time, and it falls again. Lothar lifts PenWing's arm up a third time, and this time it stays up. PenWing slowly pulls himself to the ropes and grabs a hold. Lothar orders Joe to break his hold. PenWing uses the ropes to climb back to his feet. Joe Mama comes up behind him and executes a neckbreaker. He then goes to climb the corner ropes. Joe leaps off into the Flying Tea Bag Slam, but PenWing gets his knees up. Joe falls off of PenWing and lies on the mat. Neither wrestler moves, and Lothar begins to count.
Monroe: This is not looking good for either wrestler right now! I don't know if they have anything left!
Marcum: It ain't over yet! Look!
Joe Mama starts to get to his feet as Lothar counts five, and PenWing is quick to follow. The two lock up, and PenWing gets a quick roll-up, but Joe kicks out.
Marcum: Of all the cheap dirty ways to try and win!
The two lock up again, and this time Joe gets the quick roll-up, but it's PenWing who kicks out.
Monroe: You were saying?
The two lock up in the corner, and Joe twists PenWing around and grabs him for a belly-to-back suplex, but PenWing grabs the ropes to stop him. PenWing repositions himself and locks Joe's head on his shoulder. He then runs up the ropes to execute the Winged Wheel, but as he gets vertical, Joe grabs his tights and momentarily holds him in midair in what looks like an inverted vertical suplex. Joe quickly turns around to face the center of the ring and drops straight down, sending PenWing into a devastating Brainbuster.
Mornoe: Buhgawb! Joe reversed the Winged Wheel into a Brainbuster!
Marcum: It's over!
Joe goes for the cover, and Lothar counts to three. He takes the Cheese Belt from James White and hands it to Joe Mama, now standing in the ring, and raises his arm.
James White: Ladies and Gentlemen, your new Heavyweight Cheese Champion, Joe Mama!
"Faded" hits as Joe stands in the ring, holding up the belt, and SummerScam comes to an end.
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