Camera fades to backstage area,where Chris Oakley is standing by with Joey Biles.
JOEY:I'm talking right now with a former and possibly future RDCW hardcore champion,acting Bond Brigade leader Chris Oakley....Chris,in tonight's battle royal you'll be going up against some of RDCW's most legendary hardcore stars,including your longtime archnemesis PenWing and Darth,the leader of the Dark Lords.Does that make you nervous at all?
CHRIS:Nervous?(laughs)Not on your life.I'm itching to mix it up with every single guy who comes into that ring....my only regret is that Balls Nasty isn't in the battle royal.I'd love to kick the crap out of him--did you hear the way he trashed the fans earlier?
JOEY:Indeed I did.(ponders Chris' last comment)Does this mean we might possibly see you and Nasty square off at Uncircumsized?
CHRIS:I hope not...for HIS stake.Getting back to tonight's battle royal,I'm going to make a guarantee right here and now:Not only will I win the battle royal,but I'm going to go on to beat El Superbeasto for the hardcore title,and after that I'm going to run the entire Bastardo Family out of RDCW!(Huge pops from the crowd watching the interview on the Cheese-O-Tron)
JOEY:That's an awful lot to take on your shoulders,Chris...
CHRIS:Yeah,well,the Bastardos don't have Joke Mama to bail them out anymore,so it shouldn't be too much of a problem.Louie,I hope you and Sweet Willie Williams have updated your resumes,because when I'm through your precious Family Business will be filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy!!
(More pops from the crowd.)
And one more thing:to my opponents in tonight's battle royal--I'm going to knock you assholes over like bowling pins and toss you out of the ring like yesterday's trash.(meaningful pause)And PenWing,your name's at the top of my hit list.
(Chris walks back to the Bond Brigade dressing room as Joey turns to the camera.)
JOEY:Back to ringside!
