she belched. "excuse me!" she said. "I'm not used to carbonation." She burps again, the rancid gas exploding across her lips like a mouth-fart.

"Oh god, Amber! I can't hold out any longer!" Croony Craig Cooortis... whassisname said and leaned over to kiss her flushed lips. He shoved his tongue into her mouth and grabbed her left boob. She went "mmmmm" and he got hard thinking how much she must be enjoying herself. Then she burped again, breaking the passsionate face embrace.

"Oh," she apologised, "I'll make that up to you." He loved the taste of Mountain Dew, going down or coming up.

"I am so turned on right now," he whispered horsely into her ear. Still honking her boob he rotated his butt so he could use his other hand and unbutton her jeans. Sliding his hand between her kinda cottege-cheesy thighs he fingered his way to her cootch. It was rough and dry. Noticing his obvious uncertainty she explained, "It's a genetic problem - here," and brought some vasaline out of her purse.

He slathered the greasy petrolium jelly on his fingers and slid them to penetrate.

"Ow, that's my asshole!" she cried in pain.

Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"