It was an overcast day, the kind of day you want to spend in the home, not leaving. A gray day. So on a whim, as she had no home to lounge in, Uschi drove a couple thousand miles to Canada. There was a bright pink door and the brown lawn of autumn was strewn with sticky My Little Ponies. Uschi picked one up, it was a scratch and sniff. She scratched and sniffed, "this one smells like penis." Uschi shoved the pony down her pants and rubbed it furiously. Removing it from her pants, she smelled it again. "Now it smells like sex!" She knocked on the door. Klinton answered.

"Hello, Usch!" Klinton said, merrilly (he's gay).

"Hello, Klint!" Uschi said dykishly (she's a scholar).

Klinton invited Uschi into his home. They ate crumpets and drank tea and generally gayed about. They discussed a range of topics, ponies to vaginas. Uschi asked, "Klinton, where is your honey-bunny?"

"He's gone to Austrailia and won't be back for three hours," Klinton informed her.

"Lets make fuck," suggested Uschi.

"But..." Klinton faultered, "but I'm gay."

"That's okay," Uschi crooned. "I'm gay too. It works."

With that they stripped. Klinton sported a king-kong-dong that blossomed out of his pants like one of those time-lapse videos of flowers at dawn. Uschi's kinda hung there, no comparison at all in legnth or girth. "I guess this means you're on top then, huh?" Uschi chuckled.

(dinner time. I'll be back to finish this)

Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!

Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0

"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921

"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"