Women's Booby Title
Lor (C) vs. Princess Elisa
"Revolution" hits and Lor seductively walks down to the ring in her skintight purple 'n' black "Harlequin" body suit. The Crotch motions for Princess Elisa, already in the ring, to stay in the opposite corner as Lor slowly climbs the ring steps and slips between the ropes. Lor hands the Crotch the Boobie Belt, which he raises above his head before handing if off to James White. Lor blows a kiss to Elisa, who looks at her in disgust. The bell rings, and the two women lock up. Elisa tries to take control early with a series holds and roll-ups, but Lor fights through her technical onslaught, sending Elisa into the corner ropes and jumping at her with a splash. Elisa falls forward, and Lor quickly locks in La Pagliaccia.
Marcum: This match is all over now! No one escapes La Pagliaccia!
Monroe: You sound very excited at the prospect of Lor winning this match. I thought you hated her?
Marcum: How can anyone hate Lor? Just look at her, in that skintight body suit! 
Elisa tries to fight her way out of La Pagliaccia, but Lor's hold is too tight. Elisa starts to tap, but just as the Crotch starts to signal for the bell, he notices Elisa's foot touching the rope, and calls for Lor to break the hold.
Monroe: Elisa had her foot on the rope! The tap doesn't count!
Marcum: Of course it counts! The Crotch can't just change his mind like that!
Monroe: It looks like Lor agrees with you!
Lor breaks the hold and stands up to face the Crotch in the center of the ring.
Lor: <yelling> What do you mean she had her foot on the rope? You saw her tap first!
Crotch: I'm sorry, baby. I can't give you the submission. The hold was illegal. You don't want to win that way.
Lor: <starts to sob> But-but- <Lor covers her face as she breaks down in tears>
Cortch: <taking Lor into his arms> Don't cry, please don't cry. Look, Elisa is still recovering from La Pagliaccia. You can still get the pin.
Lor: <smiling up at the Crotch> Oh baby, you're the greatest!
Lor reaches up and pulls the Crotch's face down to her's. She passionately kisses him on the lips. Not sure how to respond, the Crotch just stands there.
Monroe: Now this isn't right! Lor is seducing the referee during the match! Someone needs to put a stop to this!
Marcum: You go right on ahead and do just that. I'll stay here and watch.
Lor continues to kiss the Crotch as she turns her body away from him. She reaches around the back of his head and quickly drops down into Punch & Judy.
Monroe: Buhgawb! Lor just took out the ref!
Lor looks over to Elisa, and sees her using the ropes to slowly pull herself back to her feet. Lor places her hand over her mouth as she yawns and stretches. She slips out of the ring and takes the Boobie Belt back from James White. Elisa starts to yell after Lor as she slowly walks up the ramp. Lor turns around at the top and blows Elisa a kiss before disappearing in the back.
Monroe: I can't believe what I just saw! Lor just walked off!
Marcum: She clearly won the match. Obviously there was no need for her to remain in the ring!
Monroe: She didn't win! She disqualified herself!
Marcum: Did you see a title changing hands? Lor was the clear victor here tonight!
Hardcore Porn Title
El Superbeasto (C) vs. Chris Oakley vs. Darth
"The Imperial March" sounds as Darth rises up from below, Chesty Lerou at his side. The pair make their way to the ring and Darth unshoulders his golf bag and begins testing shots.
"Rooster" cues up as Chris Oakley walks out onto the rampway. He signals to the back and the Bond Brigade members wheel out several dollies and wheelbarrows full of plunder to the ring.
Monroe: Chris Oakley's come prepared tonight!
MarcuM: But he may have just given his opponents the means to finish him! Whatta maroon!
Finally, El Superbeasto's music hits and the Hardcore Porn Champion hits the rampway, accompanied by Louie Bastardo. Oakley sneers at the sight of Bastardo while Darth glares at the man who took the Hardcore title from him.
Louie motions to the back and Howlerama bring out a special weapon for the Giant Luchadore.
Monroe: It's another sink, Madman!
MarcuM: Stainless steel this time! You gotta love the genius of Louie Bastardo!
Superbeasto takes the sink and heads down to ringside as the bell rings and the match is underway! Darth pounds Oakley with a nine iron and Oakley hits the ropes. Superbeasto tosses the sink into the ring and slides in under the bottom rope, but the Dark Lord is ready for him and tees off on the Giant's mask covered head.
Oakley hits Darth with a low blow and goes for a Red Alert, quickly following with a Kill 'Em All" from the top rope! Oakley heads out to ringside and begins tossing plunder into the ring. Stop signs, chairs, garbage cans, two by fours, a staple gun, a cheese grater, the works.
He slids in and picks up the staple gun and goes to work, stapling Superbeasto's forehead. Darth pounds on Oakley with a garbage can and then hits a Sithspawn onto a stop sign!
Superbeasto recovers and picks up a couple of cheese graters, he works over both men's foreheads with the graters, creating huge bloody gashes! Darth and Oakley are bleeding profusely as Superbeasto searches for another weapon!
He picks up a roll of barbed wire, but Oakley goes for a two by four and whacks him in the
Fat Retard: STERNUM! THE STERNUM BYGAWB!!!!
Darth picks up the staple gun and staples Oakley's forehead again, widening the gash and Oakley's blood is flowing profusely!
Monroe: He's wearing the crimson mask!
Superbeasto whacks Darth with a chair, knocking him right on top of Oakley! Superbeasto places the chair on top of Darth and goes for a Giant legdrop!
MarcuM: Tijuana Facebuster!
Beasto picks up Oakley and hits him with repeated Giant Headbutts, staggering the Brigadier and sending him to the ground. He attempts a chokeslam but Darth nails the Giant with a chairshot to the head! He drops the chair in the middle of the ring and delivers a Sithspawn, smacking the Luchadore right into it!
Monroe: Darth's obviously been taking lessons from Grimm here! A Sithspawn ddt, 138 style!
MarcuM: Or maybe it's just payback for that Facebuster earlier!
Chris Oakley sneaks up behind Darth and locks him in the "Snuff the Rooster" sleeperhold. The Dark Lord drops down to one knee as he struggles to stay awake in the hold.
Oakley sneers through the blood covering his face and screams "Tonight is my night!" But before he can continue, the Giant Luchadore hits a Giantsault onto both men, sending them down to the canvas!
Superbeasto delivers another Giantsault as the ring shakes under the impact! He covers both men as Lothar makes the three count! Superbeasto is victorious once again!
MarcuM: Nobody can stop the Giant Luchadore! He's amazing!
Monroe: I wouldn't be so sure, Madman! Look!
Balls Nasty rushes into the ring and begins pummeling Superbeasto with a garbage can! He lays out the Luchadore and places a pair of steel chairs over Superbeasto's head!
Monroe: He's going to the top rope!
MarcuM: I don't think this was covered in Dianetics!
Nasty delivers a Kentucky Waterfall onto the prone Giant, smashing the chairs into his head! Nasty walks over to Lothar and rips the Hardcore belt out of his hands.
Nasty looks down at the belt and spits on it, before dropping it onto Superbeasto's still form. He steps on the giant as he walks out of the ring and to the back.
