Monroe: Breaking News, fans! Spandex Monkey Man has just responded to Sammitch's challenge!
Cut backstage to an abandoned area of The Cheese-Dome. It's littered with trash, and sitting in the middle of it is Spandex Monkey Man, with a different look. He now looks like a twisted combination of a goth and a superhero
Monroe: What's happened to SPAMM?
Marcum: The Dark Lords happened, Mouth!
SPAMM: When The Dark Lords took me, they did me the greatest favour of my career. Up to that point, I was lost. Lost in a mire of stupid gimmicks and stupid matches with a joke and his bodyguard. I was after a title wanted by five men. And, now, now I'm a hardcore machine, ready to deal out pain and destruction to all!
there are mutterings among the crowd. This isn't the SPAMM they know and love
SPAMM: Captain Sammitch, you think you can beat me? With no less than Pig Iron behind me? Tonight, I will grind you down and break you. I'll beat you until you scream for mercy, and then I'll crush your skull. I have new friends now, new and deadly friends. Friends like...Mr. Sledge Hammer!
SPAMM hoists a Sledge Hammer out from the rubbish. It has a little face painted on. The crowd bursts out laughing.
Monroe: Well, what do you know? Doesn;t look like SPAMM's changed that much after all!
SPAMM: And...Mr. Staple Gun! Only he doesn't have a face 'cos it wouldn't fit
He produces a staple gun from the wreckage. By now the crowd are in stitches!
SPAMM: Tonight, Sammitch, you will bleed, and you will die. So Sayeth The Monkey Man.
