Quote:

Monroe: It's Main Event time! For the Intercuntinental title, the fist EVAR and current champion Nowhereman, defends against the man he took the title from at SummerScam: MisterJLA!

JLA is using the rematch clause that was written into the SummerScam contract: not only does JLA get a rematch when he demands, but he also gets to choose the stipulation: and that stipulation is JLA gets to assign the guest ref! The guest referee is none other than JLA's tag partner, Captain Howdy!

Howdy is a longtime associate of Nowhereman, and Howdy's interference cost JLA his IC Belt at the PPV! Some think his interference was directed toward Nowhereman, others think he booted JLA in the head on purpose!

Now JLA and Nowhereman will get to see where Howdy's loyalties lie!

Marcum is backstage ready to kiss JLA's ass, I mean interview him now!



A fat guy with a beard and mustache is seen outside JLA's locker room. He is surrounded by security guards. He knocks on JLA's door, and out steps one half of the World Tag Team Champions...

Quote:

Marcum: JLA! This is the moment of truth! Tonight's ref, Captain Howdy will be put to the test! Will he call this match for his old ally Nowhereman, or his current tag partner, you?!?

JLA: If he wants to stay a champion, if he wants to remain a part of the greatest tag team EVAR, he'll do the right thing. I'm sure he remembers where his career was headed before I saved him. If he fucks this up, there will be no going back. I showed the world last week, that he CAN be replaced. Jeeves did a Hell of a job as a tag partner last week.

Marcum: But he gave you a "Twisted Buster" last week!

JLA: I'm guessing that was revenge for me hurting his widdle weg in the ladder match. We're even now, and now it's back to business: MisterJLA holding more RDCW gold!



IC Title Special ref: Captain Howdy
Nowhereman (C) vs. MisterJLA



JLA walks through the Cheesedome curtain, and is immediately attacked from behind! Nowhereman slams JLA onto the ramp, and continues to pummel him!

Guest referee Captain Howdy soon rushes to the scene, and orders both men to get in the ring. Nowhereman ignores him, and continues to punch away at this opponent. Howdy finally pulls Nowhereman away, and while he is holding him back, JLA sucker punches Nowhereman and sends him reeling!
He continues to punch away and kick Nowhereman. JLA finally leads Nowhereman to the ring, fires him under the bottom rope, and begins his own assualt. Howdy calls for the bell, and we're officially underway!

Quote:

Marcum: Did you see that? Howdy held Nowhereman up for a beautiful punch from JLA!

Monroe: I think he was just trying to get both of them in ring! This is for the IC Belt, this is not a hardcore match!



JLA has the advantage, and measures Nowhereman up with knee and elbow drops. He attempts an early "Justice Lock of America", but Nowhereman fights out of it with a boot to the head.

Nowhereman then follows with a tombstone piledriver, a powerbomb, and a swinging neckbreaker, carefully connecting on each move for maximum damage.

Quote:

Monroe: He's softening him up for the cuntface!



The match goes on, and Nowhereman takes a cautious approach. Each manuever, punch, kick, and chop is released with great precision.

JLA tries to stem the tide with a few eye gouges, but Nowhereman shrugs them off. In desperation, JLA swings wildly at Nowhereman with a clenched fist, but the champ ducks it, grabs JLA's arm, and applies "The Crippler Cuntface"!

Quote:

Monroe: A CUNTFACE! A CUNTFACE! A CUNTFACE!



JLA uses his free hand to try to pull himself to the ropes, but he doesn't make it very far. Howdy continually askes him if he wants to tap, but the challenger refuses. After time, JLA finally manages to drag himself to the ropes. Howdy calls for the break, but Nowhereman refuses!

Quote:

Howdy: You have to break the hold, poof!

Nowhereman: I don't HAVE to do anything, tosser! You don't like it, then disqualify me!



Howdy once again seperates Nowhereman from JLA. While the ref and the champ argue with each other, JLA hits Nowhereman in the back, sending him into The Captain. The two knock heads, and hit the canvas. JLA then rushes out of the ring, and approaches Monroe:

Quote:

Chair.



Monroe sheepishly stand up, folds his steel chair, and hands it to JLA. JLA then rushes back into the ring.

Both Nowhereman and Captain Howdy stand up at the same moment. Howdy is facing JLA, and sees him armed with a chair. Nowhereman has his back turned to JLA.

Suddenly, Howdy clutchs his head, and falls to the mat.

Quote:

Marcum: He fainted from the collision!

Monroe: Oh, come on!

Marcum: What? It was a delayed reaction!




As soon as Nowhereman turns around, JLA hits him over the head with the chair, busting him open. He then places the chair on the canvas, and piledrives the IC Champ directly on the chair. He then throws the chair out of the ring.

Quote:

Marcum: A Night Cap on the chair! Brilliant!




JLA then picks up his enemy, slaps him in the face, and then hits a "Final Justice"!



JLA then grabs the knocked down champ by the foot, and applies the "Justice Lock of America"!



Almost immediately, Howdy springs to his feet! He asks Nowhereman if he wants to tap, but he just shakes his head "No"!

Nowhereman iches closer to the ropes, and is almost there!

Just then, Howdy calls for the bell!

A confused James White sounds the bell after some hesitation, and makes the announcement:

Quote:

White: Uh...ladies and gentlemen...um...




Howdy walks over to White, and shouts at him from the ring.

Quote:

White: The winner of the match, as a result of a submission...and new Intercuntinental Champion...MisterJLA?

Monroe: What a...screwjob! He never quit! I think this match will forever be known as the "Roboken Screwjob!"






JLA breaks the hold, and begins to dance in the middle of the ring. Howdy takes the IC Belt from White, and fastens it around his tag partner's waist.

Nowhereman gets to his feet, and attacks Howdy! JLA takes the IC Belt off, and smashes the former champion over the head with it.

The Allied Powers then stomp away at Nowhereman, until he rolls out of the ring.

JLA and Howdy are celebrating in the ring, but their celebration is cut short when "Cemetary Gates" begins to play and the Dark Lords head down to ringside.

The new IC Champion ducks behind his tag partner as the Lords make their way into the ring. Grimm has a mic and he and Darth walk up the Powers while Spamm wanders the ringside area and Pig Iron sits atop a turnbuckle.*

Quote:

Grimm: Well well well. Isn't this quite a sight? Captain Howdy and. . .Mister. . .J. . .L. . .A. The RDCW World Tag Team Champions. The premiere tag team in the sport of professional wrestling. A bonafide hardcore legend and a cowardly pervert. You believe these guys, Darth?



*Darth sneers at the Powers as Grimm continues his tirade.*

Quote:

Grimm: I can only conclude from looking at you that your title run has lasted so long only because we haven't gone after the belts. Well, guess what. . .



*Grimm steps up into Howdy's face*

Quote:

Grimm: We want those belts now and we'll be taking them from you next week.



*Grimm throws the mic down as he and Howdy stand nose to nose in the ring.

Quote:

JLA: You guys just had to piss on my parade, didn't you? Look, we defeated you guys already. Back when Darth had the good sense to leave you hanging high and dry, Grimm. So...no. No shot at the Tag Gold for you.

You expect us to put the Belts up for grabs, when you offer nothing in return?







JLA scratches his chin. An amazed look washes over his face!

Quote:

JLA: That's it! You want a match, fine! But YOU will have to put something up for... grabs: Chesty! When we win, and we will win, I get a date with Chesty. Oh yes!

Darth: <sith-esque> We will not accept any stipulation that puts a third party alone with you, you sick little man. We do not not need you to agree to any match. What you will not give us freely, we will take from you by force. Do not question the power of the darkside.

Chesty: Hold on just a sec here. I'm a big girl, Darth. I can take care of myself. Besides, <a sinister smile makes it's way across Chesty's face> do you really think the Dark Lords can lose to the Allied Powers in hell? Does anyone here believe that the Dark Lords can lose to anyone, in a fifteen foot steel cage with no way out? JLA, the Dark Lords will accept your stipulation so long as you accept mine. If you can defeat the Dark Lords in Hell in a Cell, then you can have one date with me, including all it's costs and benefits.



*Darth's eyes go wide, not believing what Chesty just said. Grimm puts a hand on his shoulder. Grimm whispers something to Darth. Darth's eyes light up as a grin makes it's way across his face and he chuckles.*

Quote:

Darth: Very well, JLA. The darkside has spoken. We accept your terms.

Grimm: It is settled then. Next week. The Dark Lords. The Allied Powers. The World Tag Titles. Hell in a Cell. But before we leave here, I thought you two would like a taste of what we have planned for you next week.



*All four members of the Lords jump on Howdy and JLA and a brawl ensues. The lights begin to flicker on and off several times. No one can really see exactly what is happening. Finally the lights go down for a few moments before coming back on.

The Dark Lords have disappeared. The entire ring and the Allied Powers along with it, is covered in blood. The Powers are laid out in the ring. JLA revives and tries to stand. He slips on the blood and tries to use one of the ring ropes to pull himself up. He looks down at his blood covered form in disgust and shouts:

Quote:

JLA: Holy Fuck! I hope Jeeves has something to get these stains out!



*Havoc fades out as security attempts to help the Powers out of the ring.*