Week 2 of the report, and after a dissapointing PPV and patchy Smackdown, can the red-headed stepchild of WEWE programming step up to the mark?
Show opens with a No Mercy recap, closing with the burning casket. Okay, so I know it was one of the better matches on the card, but this makes it look like the main event.
Go to the show, and Simon Dean is out, to loud but short boos. Note: Why does a guy who prides himself on his physical fitness ride down to the ring on that...thing?
Oh, boy, he's got a mic! This is gonna be fun, people!
Yes, we did have a big laugh at No Mercy, Simon. And so did everybody in the arena (presumably this is a reward to everyone who bought the PPV).
As stipulations go, 'loser eats 20 double cheeseburgers' is surely one of the more amusing. Judging by Simon's reaction, I'm guessing they were from Burger King.
Yep, it's Burger King. They made him sick, y'see, so it HAS to be.
My god! He managed to get 2 minutes 30 seconds into a promo without mentioning his 'patented Simon System'.
Note to bookers: Nothing says 'Heel' quite like calling the audience fat.
Jimmy Olsen/Paul London comes out!
Paul gets a hamburger out, and starts mocking Simon! Kick his ass, Mr. Dean!
London starts eating the hamburger! Those thing really do make you fat, London.
Match starts, and London pulls a Konnan and flings the burger at Dean. ORALE!
Couple of hip-tosses from London, and then an armbar-type thing.
Simon gets back to his feet and whips London into the turnbuckle. Floatover and we're back into an abdominal strecth.
Good old fashioned brawling, hip toss from London and a pin! Just a 2 cound, thank god.
London's on the apron! Come on Simon, knock him on his ass!
Dean slams London into the turnbuckle! Yay Simon!
Simon Dean pulls London back into the ring for a pin, but only gets a 1 count.
The ref won't let Dean use his cast to hit London! How come they never did that to Cowboy Bob?
Dean kicks Smackdown's dreariest cruiserweight in the chest.
Sunset flip from London! Maybe he's not as bad as I thought. Only a 2 count, though.
Dean for a pin, but another 2 count.
Abdominal stretch from Dean!
London gets some knees to Simon's head, and then kicks him to break the hold. Goes on the offensive, hitting some good clotheslines and a spinning heel kick.
London enziguris Simon to the mat for a 2 count!
Mushrrom Stomp, front dropkick to the ringpost, and a rollup! Can Lodnon get this one?
Nah.
2 count, but Dean's on the mat! London hits The Standing Shooting Star Press...right onto Dean's cast. Ouch.
Simonizer and pin, and Simon Dean gets the win! Yay Simon!
