Camera cuts to reveal Captain Howdy sitting in the Allied Powers locker room. He is seated on a bench, and is taping his fists.

Jeeves in standing in the opposite corner, folding laundry. An American Flag and a British Flag are hung in the locker room, and the World Tag Team Titles are positioned underneath the flags, each belt in a separate glass case.

The locker room door suddenly flies open, and in storms MisterJLA, who is holding his IC Belt over his shoulder. He immediately gets in Howdy's face...

Quote:

JLA: What were you thinking? A "Halloween Handicap Match" against Nowhereman?

Howdy: I don't see what's the problem! I have URG and PJP in my corner! Not that I need their help!

JLA: That's just it. PJP and URG? PJP hasn't competed in ages, and he just used to be a Lightweight!

Howdy: Faggot-





JLA shoves Howdy! Howdy shoves back!

Quote:

Howdy: I was saying, he used to be a Lightweight Faggot Champion! The first EVAR!

JLA: Oh. I thought you were calling me that.

Howdy: And URG is a former Faggot Champion, and Hardcore Porn Champ!

JLA: Ha. In URG's case, the RDCW could have unified the two belts, and made URG The Hardcore Faggot Porn Champion. But anyway, I kicked URG's ass twice: once in a no DQ match, and again in an Elimination Chamber match: he taint that good!


JLA vs URG
Elimination Chamber


JLA: So not only are you teaming with two dubious partners, just think of the worst thing that can happen!

Howdy: What? I could somehow get injured? PJP and URG could turn on me? Spill it, bender!

JLA: You could embarrass me! Just think how ridiculous I’d look if my partner lost a match, when he had two people helping him! You’re a World Tag Team Champion! You should be above resorting to outside help…but if you had to, couldn’t you have at least gotten better partners???

Howdy: Oh, shut it already Gaylord! I could handle Nowhereman on my own anyway! You need to focus on Darth! He wants to bury you alive, and the “alive” part is optional!





JLA’s eyes get wide, as he remembers his Casket Match for the IC Championship with Darth. He mumbles something about “needing to take his mind off of things”, and then retrieves something from his locker.

Just then, there’s a knock on the locker room door. A few moments later, Jeeves answers the door, and a priest is standing in the hallway.

Quote:

Father Lankester Merrin: You must be MisterJLA. I received you letter, and came here at once.

Jeeves: I beg your pardon, Father. MisterJLA is the one over there.



Jeeves points to MisterJLA, who is flipping through a copy of “Swank” magazine. JLA sees the priest, and quickly throws the magazine back into his locker. The priest sighs, and shakes his head.

Quote:

JLA: Oh, hey Father. Just doing some…research. I see you read my letter.

Father Lankester Merrin: I did indeed, my son. The contents of your letter were most troubling. I have brought you two items that will help you in your quest to destroy the evil you must face tonight. I have both items sealed, so your enemy will not see them.



Another priest walks into the locker room, and places two boxes on the bench. Both priests stand in front of JLA, looking at him. MisterJLA looks at them, puzzled.


Quote:

JLA: Uh, well thanks for helping, Fathers. Have a safe trip back.


Father Lankester Merrin: JLA, my son, Father Karras and I traveled a long distance to assist you tonight. Our church is in need of a new roof, and the collection plate seems to bring smaller rewards each week…

JLA: Say no more, Father.



MisterJLA takes his wallet out his locker, and pulls out a bill. He hands it to Father Lankester Merrin.

Quote:

JLA: And there you are. Thanks for the help. Now I need to get back to my…research. Godspeed.



Father Merrin looks down at the five -dollar bill that MisterJLA has handed to him. He mutters what could be interpreted as “cheap bastard” and walks out with Father Karras.

JLA opens each box, and whispers to himself “perfect”. Camera fades to black...