Technical Scientific Match
Dr. William Paragon vs. Spandex Monkey Man
"Ode to Joy" rang out through the CheeseDome as Dr. William Paragon entered the arena, surrounded by security guards. As Paragon made his way to ringside, the cameras focused upon a glass case upon a pedestal near the ring. Within the case were Mr. Sledge Hammer and Mr. Staple Gun, Spamm's implements of destruction.
Paragon removed his robe and his old championship belt before placing them in the hands of a ring attendant. Paragon awaited his foe in the ring.
Finally, after several moments, Spamm's music began to play. Some fans cheered. Some booed. Spamm did not appear. The crowd was puzzled.
Mike Monroe: Where could Spamm be?
Madman MarcuM: Maybe he got smart and realized he couldn't go one on one with a legend like Paragon!
After several moments, Spamm finally emerged from backstage, looking very disheveled. His mask was half twisted around. One hand was handcuffed. The cuffs were broken at the chain and the other cuff was missing.
Spamm charged into the ring and immediately tore into Paragon with abandon! Lothar ordered the bell to ring and the match was underway! Spamm whipped Paragon into the ropes and went for a dropkick, but Paragon stepped aside and Spamm hit the mat! Paragon grabbed Spamm's left leg and hooked in a half boston crab, holding the Dark Lord on the mat.
Spamm crawled forward, attempting to reach the ropes, but Paragon continually pulled him away. Finally, Spamm managed to reverse out, and tried for an armbar but Paragon poked him in the eyes!
Monroe: What kind of scientific wrestling do you call that?
MarcuM: Greco-Roman eyepoke!
Paragon grabbed Spamm and placed him in a headlock. Spamm struggled to escape before finally lifting Paragon up into a backdrop, slamming him on the mat! Spamm picked him up and hit a Monkey T! He climbed up the top rope and went for the Dark Clown!
But Paragon rolled out of the way and Spamm crashed into the mat! Paragon taunted his foe, but Spamm tried for a rollup! Paragon kicked out at one and a half. Frustrated, Paragon shoved Spamm. Spamm shoved him back and the two began to exchange chops!
Spamm bounced off the ropes and went for a flying forearm, but Paragon ducked under and Spamm tangled himself in the ropes! Paragon mocked the former superhero, slapping him in the face, before rolling out of the ring.
Monroe: Where's he going?
Paragon walked over to one of the guards and and asked for the case to be opened. The guard complied and Paragon pulled Mr. Sledge Hammer out of the case.
MarcuM: He's got Mr. Sledge Hammer!
Paragon rolled back into the ring and nailed Spamm with a brutal shot from the sledgehammer that knocked him loose from the ropes and sent him to the floor!
Lothar immediately signaled for the bell, disqualifying Paragon and awarding the match to Spamm! Began to celebrate, strutting in the ring. As he did so, he failed to notice Spamm climbing up the turnbuckle behind him!
Spamm took flight, and caught Paragon, managing to hit a flying leg lariat on Paragon!
Monroe: BANANA! BANANA! BANANA!
Spamm lifted Mr. Staple Gun up and began attacking Paragon, stapling his head!
Monroe: BUHGAWB!!!!!!
MarcuM: He can't do that! Paragon's a BBN official!
Paragon broke away and bailed out of the ring, heading for the back as Spamm's music began to play. The Monkey Man celebrated in-ring as the announcers cut to match replays.
