Darth grabs the back of JLA's shirt with both hands and tosses him down the ramp. JLA rolls down and stops himself at the bottom. He struggles to get to his feet but falls flat on his face.
Monroe: Looks like JLA's night is over already!
Marcum: I can't believe what I'm seeing from the IC champ!
Darth slowly walks towards JLA, but when he begins to lean forward JLA quickly rolls to his back and kicks Darth's legs out from under him with a Russian leg sweep.
Monroe: Buhbawb! He was playing possum!
Marcum: I knew it!
JLA quickly jumps to his feet and runs to the ring, sliding in under the ropes. Darth takes his time to get up, and walks to the ring. He grabs a hold of the ropes, and leaps to the ring apron. JLA runs at Darth and tries to knock him down with a shoulder, but Darth pulls the ropes down and JLA flies over them, landing hard outside the ring.
Monroe: That had to hurt!
Darth jumps down and walks over to the casket. He reaches to open it, but JLA races to his feet and grabs Darth from behind. Using all of his might, JLA lifts Darth off his feet and pulls him back into a suplex. Darth breaks free of the hold on impact and rolls away from JLA. He gets to his hands and knees, but JLA is already on his feet, and he kicks Darth in the head, causing Darth to-
Marcum: He's just shaking it off!
A look of horror comes over JLA's face as Darth returns to his feet. Darth cracks his neck, and JLA lunges at him, running into a big boot.
Monroe: Darth Mauled JLA!
Marcum: Oh no! He's going for the casket!
Again, Darth reaches for the casket, but this time it's Jeeves, having run down the ramp, who swings at Darth with the Super Soaker, breaking it on his back. Darth turns to face JLA's valet, and Jeeves stands his ground, raising his fists in defiance. Darth blinds him with Hellfire (red mist), and Jeeves drops to his knees screaming. Finally unopposed, Darth lifts open the casket lid, and falls back as a brass-knuckled fist connects with his face.
Monroe: What was that?!
Marcum: It's Captain Howdy! He really does care about JLA!
Howdy gets out of the casket and walks up to Darth, quickly delivering a Twatbuster. JLA finally gets back to his feet, and he and Howdy start dragging Darth to the casket.
Marcum: It's all over now!
Suddenly, the crowd starts to cheer as PJP and Urg race down the ramp. Howdy notices in time to release Darth and brace himself, but he still gets sent to the ground by a double clothesline. JLA falls under Darth's weight, and it's up to Jeeves, still wiping his eyes, to roll Darth off of JLA.
Monroe: It's total chaos out here!
Marcum: Someone needs to remove PJP and Urg from ringside! They're interfering in the match!
Monroe: And How-BUHGAWB! Double Howdyslams to PJP and Urg! And he's not done!
Howdy lifts PJP up and drops him onto the barrier. He turns to Urg, but the caveman is back on his feet, and clotheslines Howdy over the barrier, and into the crowd. Urg follows after him, and they take the fight into the stands, PJP slowly following them, waiting for his next shot.
Monroe: Looks like PJP and Urg have taken Captain Howdy out of the equation!
Marcum: Those two should be locked up! How can they be allowed to run amuck like this?!
Jeeves finally manages to help JLA to his feet, and takes a minute to check him over, making sure he doesn't have a concussion. JLA waives him off, and climbs to the ring apron. He makes a big show of tapping his elbow as he stomps his feet.
Monroe: What is JLA doing?
Marcum: He's going to drop an elbow on Darth, I think.
JLA leaps into the air, but Darth quickly sits up, and JLA lands on the ground. Darth gets to his feet and turns to JLA, but he stops when Chesty screams.
Monroe: Buhgawb! Jeeves his holding Chesty's hair! This is disgraceful!
Darth shrugs as Chesty low-blows Jeeves. He yelps in pain, and Darth races towards him with lightning speed, hitting the Oman (running DDT). JLA gets back his feet, and goes for a chair, but Chesty grabs it at the same time and starts fighting with him over it as Darth walks towards them. JLA finally rips the chair away from Chesty, but gets pulled toward him and spits red mist in his face. JLA drops the chair and screams as his hands go to his face. Chesty reaches into JLA's pants and pulls out his jumbo sized pair of socks, waiving them in the air.
Monroe: Chesty just defiled JLA!
Marcum: That's fucked up! That ain't right!
Darth hits the Oman on JLA, and lifts him up in the air with a choke hold as he walks to the casket. Darth Sabreslams him into the casket, and closes the lid. Lothar signals the bell and "Imperial March" plays over the speakers and James White declares Darth the new Inter-Cunt-Inental champion.
As Darth and Chesty walk up the ramp, a distraught Jeeves crawls to the casket. He slowly gets to his feet and opens the lid. Jeeves looks inside, and a look of shock comes over his face. The camera pans in, but instead of seeing a beaten JLA-
Monroe: BUHGAWB! The casket is empty! JLA has disappeared! 
Marcum: It's not possible! How did this happen? Where is MisterJLA?! 
