Everybody has most likely dealt with a situation when they were at school, and now that I'm in grad school, I've learned that things don't change.

Long story VERY short, I'm stuck with not one, but a trio of slackers who won't take the assignment seriously. I'm considering several steps to take to encourage these slackers to participate, becasue I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit back and let some undergrad motherfucker screw with my GPA again. But I'm not sure which is the right way to approach this situation.

If you were in my position, which of these would you use to deal with slackers?

1) A chainsaw

2) A shotgun

3) A Super Soaker & a cattle prod

4) Feed them to a hoard of rabid squirrels

5) Tie them to a chair and make them listen to the Super Milk Chan theme for 48 hours in a row

"Well when I talk to people I don't have to worry about spelling." - wannabuyamonkey "If Schumacher’s last effort was the final nail in the coffin then Year One would’ve been the crazy guy who stormed the graveyard, dug up the coffin and put a bullet through the franchise’s corpse just to make sure." -- From a review of Darren Aronofsky & Frank Miller's "Batman: Year One" script