RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Tuesday Night Havoc 11.15.05

The RDCW would like to take this moment to remember a fallen warrior, Eddie Guerrero. RIP, Eddie. VIVA LA RAZA!!!!!!

Singles Match single choice

Doc. Mid-Nite (77%, 10 Votes)

Killconey (23%, 3 Votes)

Total Votes: 13 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 9:53 PM

Grudge Match single choice

Chris Oakley (46%, 6 Votes)

Tommy "The Surgeon" Savitz (54%, 7 Votes)

Total Votes: 13 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 9:53 PM

Tag Match single choice

Dark Lords (Pig Iron / Spamm) (71%, 10 Votes)

Tuesday Night Rockers (Fantastic / 2TT) (29%, 4 Votes)

Total Votes: 14 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 9:53 PM

Handicap Match single choice

Howlerama (43%, 6 Votes)

PenWing (57%, 8 Votes)

Total Votes: 14 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 9:53 PM

IC Division Match (non title) single choice

Darth (29%, 4 Votes)

Captain Howdy (71%, 10 Votes)

Total Votes: 14 Voting on this poll ends: 2026-05-04 9:53 PM

*The lights dim as "Cemetary Gates" starts playing over the speakers. A red glow rises from the ground as Darth, fully robed, slowly walks to the ring. He is followed by Pig Iron and Spandex Monkey Man, who are guiding a black casket marked with a red skull, as they follow Darth. The casket seems to be floating in the air. Chesty Lerou and Harleykwin, both dressed in black, their faces covered with thin black veils, slowly follow behind the casket.*

Monroe: What's going on? Did someone die? Where's Grimm?

Marcum: I-I don't know. He couldn't be in the casket, could he?

*The procession has made it's way into the ring, and the casket is set on a black stone alter in the center of the ring. Darth stands before the casket. He removes his hood and raises a mic to speak.*

Darth: We are not here to mourn. For tonight, we stand before you in triumph. At Halloween Handjobs, final justice was delivered to a most unworthy foe. MisterJLA, once a wrestler and a champion, now no more than a memory. He left this world not with the woman he sought after, nor with the gold he once held. All belong to a higher power. Were MisterJLA here with us tonight, he would testify to these facts. For now, there is no denying the true power, of the dark siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddddddddddde!

*Darth hands the mic to Pig Iron.*

PI :”I feel the need to cry out. VICTooaaaaaarrrraaayyyyyyyy. Victory like Irony is a dish best served cold. COOLLLD like steel. I feel blessed by the gods of WOOAAHHH. They give Victooaarraayyy when one gives a tribute of blood and paaiinnn. True victory comes with a cost. That cost is shown through battered bodies and spirits torn assunder. The Captain felt the wraith of a dark lord inspired by his fellows and mentors. The Dark Lorrdddssss Grimm and Darthhhh. Oh, how I longed to be here at this moment..a turning point in RDCW. The moment..the time..of the Dark Lordsssss. The time is here , now….bright, shining victory cast in the shadows of darkness..spawned by the dark lords. “

Monroe: “ Please, he hasn’t even been here that long.”

PI: “I long for the future. A future cast in the image of the Dark Lords and it’s founders. A future bound by pain, hardship, and victoaarraaayyyyy. We will all be victoaariouuss and we will set up a pedestal for all to come after. We will create a monument to paaaiiinnn. A monument created and chiseled by the hands of Grimm and Darth. With steel..fire…sweat….blood….it will become a monument that will live..forever. for that monument has spawned the likes of me, and SPAMM… victors..and to the victors..go the spoiillllsss. A wooyaaayyyaaaaahhhs spoils. Bringing victory through cunning and determination. I offer my victory to grimm, a mentor, a man of darkness..a true man of darkness.”

*Pig Iron hands the mic back to Darth, who nods to Spandex Monkey Man. SPAMM holds up Mister Sledgehammer, waiving it in the air as he slowly circles the casket. Every few steps, he hops up and cries out "Ook! Eek! Ack!" Finally, having fully circled the casket seven times, SPAMM stops and cries out a final "Ook! Eek! Ack!"*

Darth: Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. And from the ash a power burns. The eternal power...of the dark siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddddddddddde!

*Darth raises his arms, as do the other Dark Lords. Thunder crackles throughout the Cheesedome, and lighting strikes the four ring posts six times. A final, seventh bolt of lightning strikes the skull on the casket, and the lid explodes.*

*The smoking remains of the casket lid are pushed away as Grimm rises up from the casket. He climbs out and takes the mic.

"Victory. Victory is the word of the day for the Dark Lords. For on the eve of all hallows, the Dark Lords unleashed the Wrath upon their foes. Captain Sammitch, beaten down by the Hog of War. MisterJLA crushed, his precious belt stolen by the Sith. While Dr. Paragon found himself dwelling in the very so-called filth he sought to eradicate. However, our victory is incomplete. For you see, my destiny is to be the RDCW World Heavyweight Cheese Champion. And at Halloween Handjobs my destiny was denied me by one man."

*Grimm pauses and holds down the mic as the crowd begins to chant Joe Mama's name. After a moment, Grimm lifts the mic up again.

"Mick Foliage!"

*The crowd boos heavily as Grimm continues.

"Yes, due to the incompetent officiating of Mick Foliage, a pretender still walks holding the championship that is mine by right. Victory is incomplete. The Dark Circle is incomplete."

Monroe: What the hell is he talking about?

MarcuM: I don't know! But I'm scared!

"The forces of entropy and decay have been unleashed. Natural disasters rip across the United States, leaving devastation and heartbreak in their wake. Paris, France, the fabled city of love is torn asunder by fire and hatred. And most jarringly of all, Ricky Martin has been in the studio recording a new album."

MarcuM: Now that is scary!

"Our victory is incomplete. Which brings us to Anathema Wednesday. Anathema. That's a good word, isn't it, David? For what we've done to each other. Anathema for most. But for those who walk on the dark side, the things that are declared anathema are just another common everyday occurrence. That razor is too sharp for most to walk it's edge. But not for us."

"The Doctor has seen fit to assign match stipulations for the herd here to vote on. It will not matter what stipulation is chosen. At Anathema Wednesday I will fulfill my destiny and ascend to the World Heavyweight Cheese Championship."

"Because tonight, the Dark Circle draws to it's completion. You see, seven is a powerful number. Tonight, the Dark Lords become seven. Seven who walk as one. Tonight, the Dark Lords welcome their newest member. . .






NOWHEREMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*A collective hush falls over the crowd as Grimm turns towards the entranceway expectantly.

There is a long silence as Grimm looks towards the entrance,but nobody appears

Monroe:"Well it looks like the newest member of the Dark Lords is not gonna show"

Marcum:"He's probably to scared that the fans will see how bad Doc Mid-Nite beat him!"

Monroe:"C'mon,thats just...."

As Monroe begins to speak,pyro goes off & Kickstart my heart blasts out



Nowhereman stands in the entrance of the Shite-entron,he has a huge plaster across his forehead from Mid-Nites van-terminator

NM:"So,Nowhereman has joined the Dark Lords!"

Fans boo

NM:"You see,Nowhereman & Grimm were one of the greatest tag teams in RDCW history.....hell,the Hellions were THE greatest tag team in wrestling history......period!"

Big pop from the crowd,and Hell-Ions chants ring out

NM:"So of course its only natural that I'd be invited to join the Dark Lords!"

Crowd boos again

NM:"Thing is,it woulda been nice if someone had told me I was invited,then I coulda told em to fuck off!"

Huge cheers from the crowd

NM:"I had some great times working with Gimmp,but he aint the man he once was. I mean,look who he has surrounded himself with.
Daft,a guy who cant even make his own decisions."
Cheers from the crowd
"Pink Iron,a guy who so obviously takes it in both pipes"
Crowds chant Pig Iron is gay
"Bumsex Monkey Boy,who always protects Pink Irons rear"
Crowd laughs its arse off
"Chesty LaPew,who not only has chest implants,she has had brain implants,but they dont work!"
More laughing
"And Hardlycan,a chick so bad,even the Allied Ponces dropped her like a thirteen year olds balls at puberty!"
More cheers
"Basically Gimmp old boy,the Gay Lords have nothing to offer me that I dont already have,and I have better things on my agenda than visiting grave yards to find corpses to fuck!"

Marcum:"Thats just disgusting,but nothing less than I'd expect from a low life Brit."

NM:"I'd like to thank you guys for this distraction,as it gave me a good laugh,but my full attention is devoted to teaching that cunt Doc Mediocre a lesson on pain!"
Crowd chants Mediocre

NM:"Oh,and Gimmp,before I go,ya might wanna watch yerself,I think Pink Iron is eyeing up yer arse!"

Kickstart my heart starts playing,and Nowhereman leaves the visibly irate Dark Lords in the ring

(The lights go out in the Cheesedome arena and Ice Cube's "Lethal Injection" blares over the loudspeakers...)

Monroe - "This is The D.O.C.'s entrance, but where is he?"

Marcum - "Okaaay. Now this is fucked up..."

(The Madman points up to the rafters as Doc Mid-Nite parachutes into the crowd in the upper seats...)

Doc Mid-Nite - "Once again, it is I The Highlight of the Nite back amongst his adoring public to answer the call of another little bitch who's gotten way over their heads with The Mid-Nite Marauder..."

Monroe - "Oh shit, here we go..."

Doc Mid-Nite - "Nowheremama, for some reason you seem to enjoy riding The Late One's Nite stick, so I have no choice but to fill your prescription for pain. Especially after what happened last Havoc..."

(Doc Mid-Nite paces, then looks directly into the camera as it zooms in for a close-up...)

Doc Mid-Nite - "But tonight The D.O.C.'s dance card is full. So I'll have to catch up with you at a later date... Protect Yo' Neck!

(The lights go out and Doc Mid-Nite disappears into the shadows as quickly as the lights can come back on...)

*The camers focus on Mike Monroe and Madman MarcuM at the announce position.

Monroe: Fans, if you were watching last week, you know that at the closing of the show Balls Nasty abducted Louie Bastardo.

MarcuM: No he didn't! He kidnapped him!

Monroe: We had to leave the air, but our cameras kept rolling to capture this footage.

*Camera cuts to an image of Balls Nasty picking Louie Bastardo up and attempting to shove him in the back of a limo.

LB: Dammit! Put me down! What the hell are you doing, you maniac?! Let me go!

Louie fights as Balls pushes him into the back of the limo. Bastardo is clawing at the door and frame. Nasty finally shoves Louie in and slams the door closed.

Balls Nasty: Squeal, Louie! Squeal like the little piggy you are!

Nasty runs up to the open driver's side door and pushes the button to lock the doors. As Nasty gets behind the wheel, Louie is slamming his fist against the back door and window while screaming to get out. The limo's tires squeal as they spin on the pavement before it takes off away from the arena.

As the limo fades in the distance, becoming only a set of tail lights, Charlie and Howlerama come into frame.

Charlie: Damnit! Get the car! Get the car!

Howler runs to the parking lot.

The picture fades into a shot inside of an SUV. Highwayman is driving down a country road with Charlie in the passenger seat on a cell phone.

Charlie: Are you sure you saw it come this way? I can't see shit out here! Yes, I know the limo's black.... There it is!

The vehicle slides to a halt. Charlie, Howlerama, Grace and the cameraman pour out of the SUV. Next to them another SUV pulls up with the rest of the Family in it. The black limo sits with the driver and rear doors open. They all run up to it. Big Fat Elvis pokes his head in to look for Louie. He quickly removes it, his face turning green, and runs away off camera. Johnny Evil keeps his distance while fanning the air around his nose.

Johnny: I don't think he's in there.

Grace: Over here!

They turn to see Louie Bastardo laying on his stomach in the middle of a pig sty. His feet and hands are bound, and his mouth covered with tape. His expensive suit and part of his face are covered with the muck from the pen. The light on top of the camera lights up the whole scene.

Charlie: Turn that camera off.

The group rushes to the pen. Charlie looks back at the camera again, yelling.

Charlie: I said to turn it off!

He reaches for the camera. It shakes violently for a few seconds before the picture goes black.

*Picture cuts back to Monroe and MarcuM at ringside. Monroe is laughing, while MarcuM has a disgusted look on his face.

MarcuM: This is an outrage! Balls Nasty should be banned from the RDCW for his conduct!

Monroe (still laughing): Fans, we'll be back after this!

MarcuM: I can't believe you think this is funny!

*Havoc goes to break as an ad for the Self Destruction of Ultimate Jaburg dvd begins to play.

*Backstage, the Crotch is standing by. His hair is a little shorter than usual, with a hint of green at the top.*

Crotch: I'm standing here with PenWing. PenWing, last week the Sudden Death Connection made a statement to the Bastardo Family, and this week you find yourself facing Howlerama in a handicap match. You've got to admit there is a sense of justice in that.

PenWing: Justice? Crotch, this match came about because Louie ran screaming like a little baby to the Doctor's office, where he whined so much that the Doctor had no choice but to give him this match. That's justice?

Crotch: Well, considering the beating you gave Howlerama last week, I'd say you had this coming.

PenWing: Crotch, when Lor pulls one of her pranks on you, like, oh, say, coloring your hair, do you think to yourself "I must of had this coming to me?"

*The Crotch runs his hand through his hair, visibly uncomfortable with the reference.*

Crotch: Well, you see, um-

PenWing: The fact is, Crotch, there comes a point when a person has to stand up to his bully and say "enough!" Isn't that right?

Crotch: Well, uh, I suppose-

PenWing: Well, sometimes that bully doesn't listen to words. Sometimes all the words in the world aren't enough to change that bully's mind. Sometimes, and this should only be considered in the most extreme instances, <PenWing winks into the camera> sometimes a little force is required to get that point across.

Crotch: A little force? The SDC charged the ring and threw out every member of the Bastardo Family! And that was after you broke a Sherwood on Howler! And then you ended it all with quite possibly the most dangerous move I've ever seen! You call that a little force?!

PenWing: No, I call that the Sudden Death Connection!

Crotch: Well, I call the match you're having tonight a small taste of justice!

PenWing: Oh, there will be justice, Crotch. But not tonight. You see, tonight Howlerama is getting off easy. Tonight they only have to face me in the ring. Now, I don't know if you noticed, Crotch, but it takes two to execute the Sudden Death Connection. And at Anathema Wednesday, well, you do the match, Crotch, how many people will be representing the SDC in a tag match against Howlerama?

Crotch: Uh, well, there's you and a partner who is yet to be named.

PenWing: And how many does that make, Crotch?

Crotch: Well, that makes two.

PenWing: So next week, Howlerama gets another taste of the Sudden Death Connection. But this week, they get off easy. If you ask me, Crotch, I'd say Howlerama should be smiling right now. They asked for this, and you know how it is.

Crotch: I do?

PenWing: <smiles> Of course you do. Anytime, anywhere, <the crowd joins in> SUDDEN DEATH RULES!

*The camera cuts back to ringside.*

Marcum: The knucklehead is going to get his ass kicked tonight, and he knows it! Oh sweet, sweet justice at last!

Monroe: That may be, but at Anathema Wednesday, well, PenWing could be teaming up with either Captain Sammitch or Chewy Walrus! I don't think Howlerema will enjoy that match up!

Marcum: If PenWing can't make it to that match, do you think it would become another handicap match?

Monroe: Just what are you insinuating?

Marcum: Oh, look at the time! We'll be back after this!

"Rooster" blasts over the Cheesedome PA speakers as Chris Oakley jogs down to the ring; in place of his usual 'Kill 'Em All' T-shirt we see a 'Latino Heat' shirt with Eddie Guerrero's face prominently displayed on the front. The crowd goes silent as Chris pics up the mic.

Folks, I'm not going to take up much of your time. I'm keeping what I'm about to say short and sweet... you know that Tommy Savitz likes to call himself the Surgeon, right? (brief pause) Well, by the time our match tonight is over, he's going to need a surgeon!

Huge pops from the fans.

That's it except for one other thing.... Arnold Judas Rimmer, after I've kicked Savitz's ass, yours is next!

Chris tosses his mic to the timekeeper and marches back to the locker room as "Rooster" again blares from the PA.

Back from commercial to hear that familiar music playing. Some fans can be seen flashing a familiar hand sign. The Cheeseotron comes alive again.

Four Champions...

Then:

Joined together with a common goal...

Then:

A common purpose...

Then:

To rule the RDCW...

Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp is heard...

"You tell him I'm coming! And Hell's coming with me, you hear?! Hell's coming with me!"

And then a single image comes over the Cheeseotron:



The Cheeseotron goes black. Fans are cheering, flashing signs and hand gestures, and chanting.

"Faded" plays as Joe Mama walks down the ramp to the cheers of the crowd. He is battered. He is bruised. He has bandages on various wounds. But he is grinning from ear to ear. He takes a microphone from Monroe and enters the ring. He takes a few moments to play up to the crowd (something he hasn't done in a long time), and then speaks.

JM: Grimm would have you all believe that bad officiating from Mick Foliage cost him the Big Cheese Title. Grimm would probably also blame The Doctor for calling the match. He'd most likely lay some blame on his "groupies" for not coming out to help him. And maybe he'd even point the finger at his broke-down busted-ass girlfriend for being one step up from useless. Makes no difference, because it all comes down to one simple fact: Grimm, you came to this ring with one goal in mind and YOU COULDN'T GET THE JOB DONE!!!

The crowd is cheering.

Marcum: Y'think Joe Mama's looking to end his career tonight? Why instigate with Grimm?

JM: Now, I'm not saying that I settled anything, m'self. When that match ended, I wasn't exactly doing jumping jacks in the center of the ring, waiting for you to get up from the Grade-A ass-kicking I gave you. But I'm not laying blame on anyone else's doorstep. I gave 100%, I was given 100%. In the end, neither of us could go on. End of story...or is it?

Monroe: That's the mark of a TRUE Champion! Losers make excuses, winners take the glory and the blame!

Marcum: Are you calling Grimm a loser?

JM: Next week...Anathema Wednesday. You and me, Grimm. Frankly, I don't care what kind of match the fans vote for. Electify the cage. Stick us in Thunderdome. Throw some nooses around the ring. Send us to the Kamphausen Estates for some mindless violence. Hell, lock us in a small room where Harley can do a strip tease while Rob acts out his favorite issues of Batman...actually, don't do that. There's a difference between "hardcore" and "cruel and unusual"!

Laughter from the crowd. Both Monroe and Marcum try to stifle chuckles.

JM: You'll notice I stopped calling you Jason, Grimm. See, that was the mistake I made going into our Last Blood Match. I remembered who you were. Jason was the guy who took me under his wing in ECW. Jason helped train me. Jason was my friend and a mentor to me. You're Grimm - you're the guy I beat to win the Eurotrash Title. Grimm was the guy I stomped to win my first Tag Team Titles. And Grimm was the guy I locked in a coffin that I staked. Jason was a man. Grimm is a joke. A loser who continues to piss on his legacy with revised history and passing off blame. Grimm, at Anathema Wednesday, I WILL beat you! Doesn't matter what the match is - you WILL lose to me...AGAIN!!! Bring Harley. Bring those jokers you run with. Bring all the black clothes and angst you can buy from Hot Topic, Grimm! I'll bring your latest defeat!

"Faded" cues up again. Joe Mama leaves the ring, flips the microphone to Madman Marcum, and then pauses for a moment before hopping the divider and into the crowd. He makes his way through them as they cheer and chant.

Monroe: Strong words from the Champion! Looks like he's still got plenty of fire inside!

Marcum: Joe Mama just signed his death warrant! You don't badmouth the monster of the RDCW, slag the Dark Lords AND his personal valet, and expect to survive your next match! Joe Mama is a dead man walking!!!

Meeko's Mic Night

*The ring is decked out with pink and black tiling. There are two vinyl cushioned stools and mic stands in the center of the ring. The fans cheer as "Strike It Up" starts playing. Meeko, sporting her pink pinstriped black business suit, makes her way to the ring. She takes the mic in hand.*

Meeko: Welcome to Meeko's Mic Night!

*The crowd cheers even louder.*

Meeko: I'm sure a lot of you out there are really looking forward to Anathema Wednesday. It's not every day that you, the fans, get to vote on what you want to see!

*The crowd roars.*

Meeko: However, Anathema Wednesday isn't all the RDCW has in store for you this month. After Anathema Wednesday, Rob's Damn Championship Wrestling presents Conniver Series!

*The crowd chants R.D.C.W.*

Meeko: Now, there has been quite a bit of talk about Conniver Series. Most notably, Louie Bastardo announced his team to destroy Balls Nasty. But, like PenWing said last week, the Sudden Death Connection won't be stepping aside so Louie can have his way with Balls Nasty. Oh no! Louie, what you do on your own time is your own business, but here in the RDCW, there's strength in numbers, and we've got the numbers to take you down right now!

*The crowd starts chanting S.D.C.*

Meeko: However, challenges mean nothing if they aren't booked by our general manager, and he has yet to announce what the format of Conniver Series will be. That is, he has yet to announce anything...until now! Ladies and Gentlemen, in the tradition of Meeko's Mic Night, I always invite the man at the top of the current controversy. Tonight, please welcome...The Doctor!

*The fans erupt as War Pigs blasts over the speakers and The Doctor makes his way to the ring. Meeko motions for him to take a seat on the empty stool. He takes the waiting mic in hand and waits for the crowd to quiet down.*

Doctor: Thank you. Before we get to the Conniver Series, I would just like to start off by saying how disappointed I was at the last pay-per-view where our two competitors in the Heavyweight Title bout couldn't even finish their match. Mick Foliage was chosen as the official for the match based upon the recommendations of the wrestlers themselves. While having an illustrious career in the ring as a wrestler, he proved to be substandard as a referee. For that reason I have personally chosen an official for the return match at Anathema Wednesday who I have the utmost confidence will be 100% fair and will prevent yet another stalemate against Joe Mama and Grimm.

*A murmur falls over the crowd as they begin to wonder who The Doctor has chosen.*

Also, I just want everyone to know how great it's been to watch the RDCW climb to even greater heights over the past year. And I look forward to the next year of ground breaking sports entertainment that only the RDCW brand can bring.

Meeko: What do you feel allowed the RDCW to prosper?

Doctor: Quite easy, Meeko. One thing has brought the RDCW to where it is today, and that is team work. In the ring and behind the scenes team work has elevated the RDCW to its prominence over all the other promotions. Those of you familiar with my career know how important it's been to me even before I came here to help establish the RDCW. For that reason I have decided that we're going old school at Conniver Series. It will be a classic Series pay-per-view with nothing but four on four tag team elimination matches. Four matches. Eight teams. Thirty-two wrestlers. All in one night.

Meeko: Four man tag teams. Sounds like a perfect match for the Sudden Death Connection. Where do they fit into all of this?

Doctor: After careful consideration, I've decided that PenWing and the rest of the SDC will get another bite at the apple, so to speak, in their feud against The Family. So one of the matches will be Team SDC against Team Fam...

*"The Ecstasy of Gold" begins to play, cutting off the Doctor in mid sentence. Louie Bastardo and Grace head quickly down the ramp way. Louie is pissed off. Grace's face shows no hint of emotion.*

Louie: What the hell is this?! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??!!! The Family versus SDC??! Who is the SDC?! How many times do we have to beat these losers into the ground?

Doctor: First off, you need to calm down and show me a little respect.

Louie: Respect?! Respect??! Didn't you see what Balls Nasty did to me last week?!!!!! Where's the respect in that?! What about some respect for me?! We demand to face Balls Nasty at Conniver Series!!!!!!!!!

Meeko: And just what exactly gives you the right to demand your opponent, Louie?! Tell me! You know, you've got a real problem right now, because your stooges started up with the SDC. Your stooges started up with PenWing, and then they laid their slimy hands on me! And they did all that before you were finished dealing with Balls! But I guess that goes to show exactly what your real problem is, Louie...you just can't finish what you start anymore!

*Louie's eyes pop open as his face begins to turn red. Grace retains her icy demeanor as the fans laugh at Meeko's comment.*

Louie:. . .WHAAAAT??!!! Let me tell you something, missy! Unlike those little pretty boys you hang out with, I'm a real man! Virile! The Bastardo name is one of the most revered to ever come out of Italy! And as for your little boy band, I think the Family's record against them speaks for itself! No dice! The Family goes against Balls Nasty at Conniver Series!

Meeko: Let's look at that record for a moment, Louie. Captain Sammitch and PenWing held the Donkey Lovin' Tag Titles until the Family defeated them. I'll give you that. However, who was it who represented the Family in that match? Let me see...it was some guy named King Snarf, whom the Doctor fired, and then there's that other guy, um, what's his name? Oh yeah... Joe. Mama.

*Meeko pauses as the crowd cheers Joe Mama's name.*

Meeko: You remember Joe Mama, don't you, Louie? He's the guy who quit the Family to pursue the Heavyweight Cheese Title on his own. Now, I'll admit I never wanted him to take it away from PenWing, but he did. He did it all by himself. That's something Snarf couldn't do. In fact, Louie, if you remember, it was PenWing who took the title away from the Family in the first place!

*Huge pops from the crowd.*

Louie: Oh, right. PenWing. The guy who gave up at Wargasms. The guy who lost to the Million Dollar Pitbull, Charlie! Face it, toots, every fool has his day, and PenWing's day is done! And at Anathema Wednesday, Howlerama are gonna finish him for good! In fact, you'll be lucky if you even have anyone left to manage at Conniver Series!

Meeko: Lucky like you, Louie? The best wrestler you've ever managed walked away. Your precious Pittbull and his associates, Howlerama, are only members of the Family because Slick Willie Williams got bored and gave them to you. The Family is built on a deck of cards, Louie, and whether you want to face the facts or not, the SDC is about to blow your house down!

Louie: That just shows what you know about business, toots! Slick Willie was smart! He realized he couldn't compete! So I bought him out. The Family is the most resiliant organization ever seen in this promotion and we're not about to fall over for some bunch of kids fresh out of your backyard promotion! No dice! The Family demands Balls Nasty at Conniver Series!!!!

*Louie and Meeko both drop their mics down to their side and begin to yell at each other. The Doctor finally seperates them.*

Doctor: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You two settle down. Let me get this straight. The Family is only interested in fighting Balls Nasty at the Conniver Series, is that right?

Louie: That's right.

Doctor: And SDC is only interested getting one more shot in finishing off the Family at Conniver Series, right?

Meeko: We're going to finish them once and for all.

Doctor: I'll take that as a 'yes'. Well, it really doesn't matter what either of you want since I get final say in booking; but the real question I have to ask myself is 'What do the fans want?'.

*The Doctor looks over the audience for a few seconds as he contemplates.*

Well, you see, we've already made up the posters and sent out the newpaper and magazine ads. So the match on the card at Conniver Series will be Team Family versus Team SDC.

*Louie becomes irrate and stomps his feet while cursing.*

Team Family captained by Charlie will be facing Team SDC captianed by Balls Nasty.

*Louie stops as a smile creeps across his face. Meeko looks surprised and then angered by the news.*

Meeko: PenWing is the leader of....

Doctor: This is the official match for Conniver Series. If you have any problems with it, well, too damn bad. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have two special events that I have to finish planning.

*War Pigs sounds as the Doctor leaves the ring. Louie and Meeko continue to insult and threaten each other in the center of the ring as the picture fades out into a commercial for Anathema Wednesday.*

Singles Match
Killconey vs. Doc. Mid-Nite

The crowd went wild as Killconey and Doc. Mid-Nite started their match. Killconey, the RDCW newcomer, tried early to take control with a series of fast paced attacks. He used every rope and every angle as he continued to fly at the D.O.C. with crossbodies, flying clotheslines, dropkicks, and a huricanrana. However, the Mid-Nite Marauder was prepared to face Killconey, and after initially being caught off guard by his speed, the Mid-Nite Doctor was able to finally counter with the "Attitude Adjustment" Spinebuster. He then climbed the ropes for the "Long Kiss Good night," but Killconey was able to roll out of the way. From there, Killconey tried to hit a moonsault, but Mid-Nite got his knees up. The two continued trading various high risk maneuvers, and the crowd continued to get louder. Finally, the D.O.C. hit locked onto Killconey for three consecutive suplexes.

Monroe: Buhgawb! Doc. Mid-Nite just hit the Three Amigos!

Marcum: There is no way Killconey will recover from that!

Killconey remained down as the Mid-Nite Marauder followed up with the "High Crescent" Moonsault. Mid-Nite went for the pin, but as the ref began the count, Nowhereman emerged from the crowd. Mid-Nite got to his feet to face the RDCW's rock star, but Nowhereman leveled him with the Hardline. The ref signaled for the bell as Nowhereman climbed the corner ropes and executed the Twisted Sister (shooting star press). Satisfied that he had made his point, Nowhereman disappeared into the crowd from whence he came before security could get to the ramp.

Grudge Match
Chris Oakley vs. Tommy "The Surgeon" Savitz

"Lyla" blasts over the speakers as Tommy Savitz and his wife Terri head down to the ring wearing matching "I'm Your Papi" T-shirts; next to them, Arnold Judas Rimmer, in a "Cheat 2 Win" T-shirt, sees a fan holding a "ROCKERS RULE!!" sign, and gives him a quick salute before he and Terri exit the ring.

Moments later, as "Rooster" bursts out over the PA speakers, Chris Oakley rushes to the ring in a "Latino Heat" T-shirt and tries to deck Savitz, only to have "The Surgeon" kick him in the gut. The Surgeon, in turn, tries to put Chris in a DDT, only to wind up on the wrong end of a DDT himself. After that, the two combatants put on an amazing technical display, each trying to get one another to tap out, but neither man is willing to quit...

Quote:

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Monroe: We could be here all night!!!

Marcum: I hope not-- my car's double-parked!

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Chris quickens the pace, and sends Tommy to the ropes. Tommy bounces off and runs back to Chris, who jumps over him. Chris grabs Savitz again and fires him back into the ropes for the Lock and Load. However, Arnold Rimmer jumps up onto the ring apron, and distracts Oakley. Oakley pauses, allowing the Surgeon to turn the tables on him and lays him out flat with the Anaesthetist. He follows up with the Operating Table and the Scalpelplex, completing his own version of the Three Amigos. Finally, Tommy climbs to the top turnbuckle....

Quote:

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Marcum: Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?!

Monroe: Yeah...the Surgeon is about to deliver Eddie Guerrero's famous Frog Splash on Chris Oakley!!!

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Chris Oakley is able to lift his knees as Tommy Savitz connects. Both men are lying on the mat. Chris is semi-conscious and Tommy is writhing in pain. As the ref starts the ten count, Chris rolls to his hands and knees, shakes off the cobwebs, and crawls to where Tommy has started to get up. Chris locks in Snuff The Rooster. Tommy tries to crawl to the ropes, but Chris has the sleeper hold locked tight. Inches away from the ropes, it looks like Tommy will succumb to Chris' finisher...until Arnold Judas Rimmer gets up onto the mat and starts shouting to Tommy. Chris glares at Rimmer as the ref raises Tommy's hand. It drops, and Rimmer turns his attention to Oakley, verbally assaulting him, his skills, and his team. Chris' eyes flare and, as Tommy's arm drops a second time, he breaks the hold and goes after Rimmer.

Quote:

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Monroe: What's he doing? He has this match won?

Marcum: The fruitcake's costing himself the win! He's lost it!!!

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Chris rolls out of the ring and starts chasing Rimmer, screaming abuses of his own. Rimmer keeps his distance, but also glances to Tommy Savitz, who is in the process of ewcovering from the sleeper hold. Finally, satisfied that his wrestler has fully recovered, Rimmer jumps into the crowd. Oakley hears the ref count "eight", slides into the ring...and into the waiting Surgeon's Knife of Tommy Savitz. Chris struggles to break the hold but has nowhere to go and eventually taps out. "Lyla" starts again, and Tommy meets up with Arnold Judas Rimmer at the base of the ramp. As they walk up to the back, they hear Chris Oakley screaming at them, "This isn't over, chumps! I'll take you out by the end of the night, Rimmer!!!"

Tag Division Match
Dark Lords (Pig Iron & Spamm) vs. Tuesday Night Rockers (James Fantastic & 2TT)

Pantera rages throughout the Cheesedome as Pig Iron and SPAMM make their way to the ring in unison.

Marcum: “Impressive matches from both men at Handjobs. What will they have in store this time?”

Monroe: “I don’t know but I but SPAMM has some Yorkshire pudding. Hah.”

Marcum: “That really wasn’t funny.”

Monroe: “ Oh…OK.”

Both men enter the ring and head butt each other, and smack each other to build adrenaline.

Monroe: “Looks like a new Monkey/Pig mating ritual.”

Marcum: “Hahahah. Now, that’s funny.”

"Do it for the kids" interrupts Pantera as James Fantastic in his Union Jackduster, Two-Ton Tommy, and Arnold Judas Rimmer make their way down the ramp.

Monroe: “The Tuesday Night Rockers. Legends in the making. They will surely be rid of this motley bunch quickly.”

Monroe: “They have more experience as a team, Monroe, but since aligning with the Dark Lords Pig Iron and Spamm have become much more dangerous. I wouldn't be so quick to write them off.”

The crowd goes wild as 2TT and JF enter the ring. JF energetically goes to the ropes to entice the crowd. PI and SPAMM immediately go into action before JF can even remove his duster. SPAMM starts hammering JF with kicks to the midsection, and PI spears 2TT and begins to lay on heavy blows with fists to the head.

And the bell rings to start the match…

JF starts to get his senses while the ref tries to stop PI and get PI and 2TT out of the ring. JF lays 2 consecutive punches on SPAMM and slings him into the ropes. SPAMM takes a strange angle off of the ropes and crashes full speed into the ref knocking him unconscious.

Marcum: “No way. Did you see that angle SPAMM took…that looked purposeful?”

SPAMM looks perplexed and starts shaking his head and checks to see if the ref is OK. Out cold… he gets no response from the ref.

Monroe: “ He’s out! The ref is out!”

JF moves in and starts attacking SPAMM while he is checking on the ref. PI and 2TT are manipulating arm holds trying to get an edge on the other.

Marcum: “What?”

Monroe: "Chris Oakley!"

Chris Oakley has emerged at ringside and begins hammering Arnold Rimmer with punches. Rimmer attempts to fight back, but Oakley sets him up for a Red Alert and drops him on the arena floor!

"I told you that you were next!" Oakley screams at the manager as James Fantastic launches himself off of the turnbuckle and onto Oakley, sending him to the floor!

Fantastic jumps up and gives a boisterous WOO! to the crowd who respond in kind as security removes a loudly cursing Oakley from ringside.

Monroe: "That was uncalled for on Chris Oakley's part-"

MarcuM: "Look!"

Grimm and Darth run into the ring from the crowd and Grimm begins hitting 2TT and Darth lunges into JF with his full running speed.

Monroe: “This is an outrage! Why do they have to resort to these type of tactics?”

MarcuM: "They don't have to! They just like it! They're sick!"

Grimm and PI mercilessly deliver blows to 2TT...kicking, punching, smacking…SPAMM regains his composure and delivers a Knuckle Duster Low Blow to an unsuspecting JF while his back is turned to face Darth. Darth immediately delivers a crushing ddt to JF. PI and Grimm then deliver a double team clothesline to 2TT and he goes over the rope and crashes to the floor.

Monroe:”Bughawb! Oh, somebody stop this attack. This is horrendous!”

All 4 wrestlers then begin to assault JF. Pummeling him until they back off, and JF is left bleeding and motionless on the canvas. PI runs over to the ref and reaches into his waistline…

Monroe: “Smelling salts? This whole charade was obviously planned from the start. This is inconceivable.”

PI whiffs the salts under the ref’s nose and then drops them to the floor. Grimm and Darth cross the railing and meld back into the crowd. The ref struggles to get his footing as 2TT still lies on the floor of the cheesedome. The ref falls next to JF and SPAMM. SPAMM is lying across JF’s chest looking semi-unconscious while JF’s back is on the ring canvas. The ref begins the count……1….2….3…. the bell rings.

Pantera begins to echo through the Cheesedome as the crowd boos.

PI and SPAMM exit the ring ….laughing.

Monroe: “This is just…just….well, it’s a Dark day for RDCW.”

MarcuM: “Dark.”

Handicap Match
Howlerama vs. PenWing

"Moby Dick" blasts over the speakers as Howler and Highwayman make their way to the ring. They flip off the fans, amongst other gestures. In the ring, they start talking shop while they wait for PenWing's music to hit. "We Will Rock You" starts up, but PenWing doesn't walk out to the stage. The fans cheer and sing as they wait for him. The song ends, but PenWing still doesn't come out. The crowd begins to go silent.

Monroe: I don't understand! PenWing wanted this match!

Marcum: He must have finally realized he stands absolutely no chance alone in the ring against the veteran team of Howlerama!

Howler takes a mic and addresses the crowd.

Howler: I would say I feel sorry for all you losers in the stands, but you get the hero you deserve! <The crowd boos loudly> Just like none of you have the guts to stand up for anything in your sorry lives, neither does that sorry excuse for a wrestler, PenWing!

Howler and Highwayman crack up in the ring, soaking up the negative reaction from the crowd. However, the boos soon turn to cheers as PenWing slips out of the crowd and scales the corner ropes. Howler and Highwayman don't have time to react as PenWing catches them with their backs turned and leaps into the air, taking them both down with a crossbody.

Monroe: PenWing used the element of surprise to get an early advantage!

Lothar signals for the bell as PenWing helps Highwayman to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Highwayman grabs hold, but PenWing sends him over with a clothesline. PenWing turns around to face Howler, but he walks right into Full Moon Rising (Eye rake, set up for the Full Moon). Howler tries to follow up with the Full Moon (Clothesline from Hell), but PenWing drops to the mat and takes Howler down with a drop toe hold. Highwayman tries to step back into the ring, but Lothar tells him to stay back and wait for a tag.

Marcum: Lothar has no business interfering in this match!

Monroe: Interfering?! Howlerama have to follow tag team rules!

Howler takes advantage of the distraction to deliver a low blow to PenWing as he was trying to lock in the Sharpshooter.

Monroe: That's not right! That's cheating!

Marcum: You said it yourself, Howlerama have to follow tag team rules!

Howler gets to his feet and starts working over PenWing's leg, trying to re injure him. Howler tags in Highwayman, who drops an elbow and PenWing's outstretched leg as Howler holds it in place. Lothar signals the tag and Howler steps into his corner as Highwayman continues to work on PenWing.

Marcum: PenWing would have been wise to chicken out of this match. He's only going to get hurt!

Monroe: Never count out a former champion!

Highwayman pulls PenWing to the ropes and uses pulls on them as he steps down on PenWing's leg. Lothar starts counting and Highwayman is forced to discontinue his hold. Lothar starts yelling at him, and Highwayman yells back. Howler takes advantage, pulling PenWing out of the ring. He tries to set up the the Wolfman Slam (Powerslam), but PenWing twists out and hits Howler with some elbows before pushing him out to arms length and hitting the Spin-o-rama. PenWing slips back in the ring and grabs Howler from behind, rolling him into a small package. Lothar counts two, but Highwayman kicks out.

Marcum: How could Lothar allow PenWing to attack Howler outside the ring?!

Monroe: PenWing wouldn't have bothered if Howler wouldn't have pulled him out!

PenWing looks to be in control of the match now as he continues to use various holds to try and force a pin. Highwayman never lets him get more than a one-count on several attempts, and finally manages to kick PenWing into the ropes. PenWing jumps onto the ropes and springboards into the air, catching Highwayman with a crossbody and forcing him the mat. Lothar counts two but the pin is interrupted by an irate Howler. Lothar yells at him to get back to his corner, but Howler pushes him out of the way. PenWing gets to his feet and turns to face the veteran, but Howler quickly knocks him down with the Full Moon (Clothesline from Hell).

Monroe: This just isn't right!

Lothar signals for the bell, awarding the match to PenWing. Highwayman slips out of the ring and walks over to the announce table.

Monroe: Oh no! What is he doing?!

Marcum: I think now would be a good time to get out of the way!

Highwayman tosses off the monitors as Howler pulls PenWing out of the ring. Highwayman walks over to them and helps to drag PenWing to the announce table. Together, Howlerama hit La Cosa Bastardo (3D), sending PenWing through the table.

Monroe: BUHGAWB! This is madness!

Marcum: You should really keep your mouth shut right now, Monroe!

The fans start cheering as Captain Sammitch and Chewy Walrus rush down to the ring. Howler and Highwayman run into the crowd. Sammtich and Chewy follow. Meeko comes down behind them with the paramedics.

Monroe: Folks, it looks like all hell has broken loose in the Cheesedome tonight! First, Nowhereman took out both Killconey and Doc. Mid-Nite in a vicious assault, and just a few moments ago Howlerama sent PenWing through the announce table!

Marcum: They were just showing some generous hospitality to PenWing for entering La Cosa Bastardo!

Monroe: We've got cameras in the back now, following the SDC's counterattack on Howlerama!

The Cheese-o-tron shows the backstage area. Sammitch and Chewy have finally caught up with Howlerama, and start laying into them. Highwayman gets away from Chewy and turns the corner. The Walrus follows. There is a loud clanking sound, and Chewy falls backwards to the ground unconscious. There is a dented steel chair lying on his chest.

Monroe: Buhgawb! That must have been-

Marcum: The making of Flubber! And here comes Charlie to finish off Sammitch!

Charlie walks up behind Sammitch, who is still trading punches with Howler. He spins Sammitch around and dishes out the Million Dollar Pitbull (Discus Punch with his diamond-encrusted knuckledusters). Howlerama grab another table from a nearby storage room. Charlie steps aside and watches along with Johnny Evil as Sammitch is sent through the table via La Cosa Bastardo.

Monroe: This is a disgrace!

Marcum: No, that's Grace!

Louie and Grace walk over to view the devastations. Louie looks into the camera.

Louie: Now that is how the Family takes care of business! Anathema Wednesday, it doesn't matter which two of you it is! Howlerama's gonna finish you off! There's not gonna be any Sudden Death Connection left to team with Balls Nasty at Conniver Series!

IC Division Match (non title)
Darth vs. Capt. Howdy

Rob's Killer Instinct rip-off music hits and Captain Howdy walks to the stage waving his Union Jack flag. After a few moments, he walks down to the ring. Once inside, the lights go out, and Imperial march starts to play. However, when the lights come back on, Darth is nowhere to be seen.

Monroe: What's going on? Where's the Sith Lord?

Marcum: Maybe he got scared when JLA disappeared?

The music suddenly changes to "Low Rider" by War. A black low rider with flames painted along the sides and a flaming skull on the hood slowly makes its way down the ramp.

Monroe: Buhgawb! Is that Darth in there?

Marcum: What the hell is he driving, a death mobile?

The fans eat up Darth's salute to Eddie Guerrero and cheer him as he drives down to the ring and parks the low rider. Darth exits the car and goes to open the other door. He helps Chesty out of the car, and she hands him the IC title belt. Darth enters the ring and holds up the belt. He then hands it back to Chesty. Lothar signals for the bell, and Howdy attacks Darth from behind to start the match. Howdy continues to lay into Darth, but when he goes to Irish Whip him, Darth is the one to whip Howdy into the ropes, and he lays him out with the Maul.

Monroe: Howdy tried to take advantage early, but Darth is now in complete control of this match!

Darth works over Howdy with a series of arm holds, but Howdy fights back and quickens the pace. He takes Darth down with a clothesline. Howdy tries to drop and elbow on Darth, but Darth sits up as Howdy drops. Both wrestlers get to their feet, and Howdy tries to turn the match into a brawl with a series of open fisted punches. He backs Darth into a corner, but the Sith Lord quickly grabs Howdy and trades places with him. He viciously shoulders Howdy in the-

Fat Retard: Sternum! He hit him in the Sternum!

Marcum: I thought they fired you!

Darth backs up and runs at Howdy for the Stinger Splash, but Howdy manages to get out of the way, and Darth hits the turnbuckle. Howdy grabs Darth from behind and hits a neck breaker. He goes for the cover, but Darth kicks out at two. Howdy lifts Darth up and tries to set up the Twatbuster, but Darth lifts him into the Sabrestretch (torture rack). Howdy slips out of the hold before Darth can lock it in, and he hits another neck breaker on Darth. This time, Howdy climbs the ropes for a Frog Splash, but Darth sits up as Howdy is about to leap. Darth becomes a blur as he runs to the ropes, scales them, and pulls Howdy into a superplex. Both wrestlers stay down and Lothar starts to count.

Monroe: That may not have been the smartest move by Darth!

Marcum: He's still in the match, ain't he?

On the stage, Jeeves is seen wheeling out a casket. Chesty starts walking up the ramp towards him.

Monroe: What's going on up there? What is Jeeves doing with a casket?

Marcum: Maybe he and Howdy are planning on burrying Darth once and for all!

In the ring, both Darth and Howdy slowly get to their feet before Lothar can finish his count. Howdy Irish Whips Darth to the ropes. Turns to hit the ropes with his back and bounces forward. Howdy runs at him with a clothesline, but Darth ducks and grabs Howdy from behind, laying him out with a Sithspawn (reverse DDT).

Marcum: So much for Howdy's plan!

Monroe: Buhgawb! Jeeves just knocked Chesty out with a nine iron!

Marcum: He can't do that!

Monroe: Darth saw the whole thing! He's leaving the ring to confront Jeeves!

Marcum: Hey, the butler really did do it!

Darth steps through the ropes but Lothar grabs his arm and tries to hold him in the ring. Darth pulls away, and Lothar falls forward, into the ropes. He bounces off and lands on the mat, out cold.

Monroe: Lothar is out!

Marcum: Sleeping on the job again!

Jeeves stands ready with the nine iron, but when he goes to swing, Darth blocks Jeeves' arm with his own, and grabs his throat in a choke hold. Facing away from the casket, Darth lifts Jeeves up for the Sabreslam. Suddenly, the casket opens and JLA stands up. He swings a nine iron of his own, connecting with Darth's head. Darth drops to the ground, releasing Jeeves.

Monroe: It's JLA! He's back swinging!

Marcum: He's going to be swinging all the way to his grave for that!

JLA drops to the stage floor. He helps Jeeves back to his feet, and they work together to drag Darth back to the ring. Muttering every four letter word he can think of, JLA, with Jeeves' assistance, lifts Darth and rolls him into the ring. Howdy slowly crawls to cover the Sith Lord, and Jeeves drags Lothar into position. Lothar opens his eyes to see the cover and counts ever so slowly to three. The bell rings and Rob's Killer Instinct rip-off music hits as JLA races up the ramp to disappear with the evidence.

But before JLA can make it to the back, the arena darkens again. JLA stops on the rampway and curses as "Cemetary Gates" begins to play.

Monroe: The Dark Lords are playing through, Madman!

Grimm, Pig Iron, and Spamm race through the curtains and begin pounding on JLA! Harleykwin follows, taking in a few shots on JLA as well. Jeeves attempts to help his boss, but someone pulls on his arm. He turns around just as Chesty spits Hellfire (red mist) directly into his face!

Monroe: BUHGAWB!!!!!!!!!!

The Dark Lords throw JLA into the ring and Grimm orders them to set JLA up for the Straight to Hell spike piledriver. But before he can go for the move, Nowhereman jumps out of the crowd and shoves Grimm off of the turnbuckles!

Nowhereman starts punching away at Grimm's forehead, but is soon caught with a crescent kick!

MarcuM: Doc. Mid-Nite just made another hardcore housecall!

Monroe: Fans, we're getting word that there's another commotion in the backstage area!

The screen cuts from the brawl in the ring as we see Ian Bond and the Bond Brigade in the TNR's locker room. The Brigade have taken their foes by surprise and are laying them out!

Monroe: All hell has broken loose in the Cheesedome tonight!

The cameras cut back to ringside as "Faded" begins to play and Joe Mama appears on the rampway, Big Cheese Title over his shoulder and "Loosie" in his hand. JM runs down the rampway, dropping the belt and sliding into the ring. He goes to work on Pig Iron with "Loosie" nailing him in the sternum before turning his attention to Spamm.

The fight is playing out all over the arena, in the ring, around the area, and into the crowd as we cut back to the announce position.

Monroe: Fans, I hate to do this, but we're out of time! We'll see you at Anathema Wednesday!

Havoc fades out as the out of control brawl continues in the Cheesedome!