IC Division Match (non title)
Darth vs. Capt. Howdy
Rob's Killer Instinct rip-off music hits and Captain Howdy walks to the stage waving his Union Jack flag. After a few moments, he walks down to the ring. Once inside, the lights go out, and Imperial march starts to play. However, when the lights come back on, Darth is nowhere to be seen.
Monroe: What's going on? Where's the Sith Lord?
Marcum: Maybe he got scared when JLA disappeared?
The music suddenly changes to "Low Rider" by War. A black low rider with flames painted along the sides and a flaming skull on the hood slowly makes its way down the ramp.
Monroe: Buhgawb! Is that Darth in there?
Marcum: What the hell is he driving, a death mobile?
The fans eat up Darth's salute to Eddie Guerrero and cheer him as he drives down to the ring and parks the low rider. Darth exits the car and goes to open the other door. He helps Chesty out of the car, and she hands him the IC title belt. Darth enters the ring and holds up the belt. He then hands it back to Chesty. Lothar signals for the bell, and Howdy attacks Darth from behind to start the match. Howdy continues to lay into Darth, but when he goes to Irish Whip him, Darth is the one to whip Howdy into the ropes, and he lays him out with the Maul.
Monroe: Howdy tried to take advantage early, but Darth is now in complete control of this match!
Darth works over Howdy with a series of arm holds, but Howdy fights back and quickens the pace. He takes Darth down with a clothesline. Howdy tries to drop and elbow on Darth, but Darth sits up as Howdy drops. Both wrestlers get to their feet, and Howdy tries to turn the match into a brawl with a series of open fisted punches. He backs Darth into a corner, but the Sith Lord quickly grabs Howdy and trades places with him. He viciously shoulders Howdy in the-
Fat Retard: Sternum! He hit him in the Sternum!
Marcum: I thought they fired you!
Darth backs up and runs at Howdy for the Stinger Splash, but Howdy manages to get out of the way, and Darth hits the turnbuckle. Howdy grabs Darth from behind and hits a neck breaker. He goes for the cover, but Darth kicks out at two. Howdy lifts Darth up and tries to set up the Twatbuster, but Darth lifts him into the Sabrestretch (torture rack). Howdy slips out of the hold before Darth can lock it in, and he hits another neck breaker on Darth. This time, Howdy climbs the ropes for a Frog Splash, but Darth sits up as Howdy is about to leap. Darth becomes a blur as he runs to the ropes, scales them, and pulls Howdy into a superplex. Both wrestlers stay down and Lothar starts to count.
Monroe: That may not have been the smartest move by Darth!
Marcum: He's still in the match, ain't he?
On the stage, Jeeves is seen wheeling out a casket. Chesty starts walking up the ramp towards him.
Monroe: What's going on up there? What is Jeeves doing with a casket?
Marcum: Maybe he and Howdy are planning on burrying Darth once and for all!
In the ring, both Darth and Howdy slowly get to their feet before Lothar can finish his count. Howdy Irish Whips Darth to the ropes. Turns to hit the ropes with his back and bounces forward. Howdy runs at him with a clothesline, but Darth ducks and grabs Howdy from behind, laying him out with a Sithspawn (reverse DDT).
Marcum: So much for Howdy's plan!
Monroe: Buhgawb! Jeeves just knocked Chesty out with a nine iron!
Marcum: He can't do that!
Monroe: Darth saw the whole thing! He's leaving the ring to confront Jeeves!
Marcum: Hey, the butler really did do it!
Darth steps through the ropes but Lothar grabs his arm and tries to hold him in the ring. Darth pulls away, and Lothar falls forward, into the ropes. He bounces off and lands on the mat, out cold.
Monroe: Lothar is out!
Marcum: Sleeping on the job again!
Jeeves stands ready with the nine iron, but when he goes to swing, Darth blocks Jeeves' arm with his own, and grabs his throat in a choke hold. Facing away from the casket, Darth lifts Jeeves up for the Sabreslam. Suddenly, the casket opens and JLA stands up. He swings a nine iron of his own, connecting with Darth's head. Darth drops to the ground, releasing Jeeves.
Monroe: It's JLA! He's back swinging!
Marcum: He's going to be swinging all the way to his grave for that!
JLA drops to the stage floor. He helps Jeeves back to his feet, and they work together to drag Darth back to the ring. Muttering every four letter word he can think of, JLA, with Jeeves' assistance, lifts Darth and rolls him into the ring. Howdy slowly crawls to cover the Sith Lord, and Jeeves drags Lothar into position. Lothar opens his eyes to see the cover and counts ever so slowly to three. The bell rings and Rob's Killer Instinct rip-off music hits as JLA races up the ramp to disappear with the evidence.
But before JLA can make it to the back, the arena darkens again. JLA stops on the rampway and curses as "Cemetary Gates" begins to play.
Monroe: The Dark Lords are playing through, Madman!
Grimm, Pig Iron, and Spamm race through the curtains and begin pounding on JLA! Harleykwin follows, taking in a few shots on JLA as well. Jeeves attempts to help his boss, but someone pulls on his arm. He turns around just as Chesty spits Hellfire (red mist) directly into his face!
Monroe: BUHGAWB!!!!!!!!!!
The Dark Lords throw JLA into the ring and Grimm orders them to set JLA up for the Straight to Hell spike piledriver. But before he can go for the move, Nowhereman jumps out of the crowd and shoves Grimm off of the turnbuckles!
Nowhereman starts punching away at Grimm's forehead, but is soon caught with a crescent kick!
MarcuM: Doc. Mid-Nite just made another hardcore housecall!
Monroe: Fans, we're getting word that there's another commotion in the backstage area!
The screen cuts from the brawl in the ring as we see Ian Bond and the Bond Brigade in the TNR's locker room. The Brigade have taken their foes by surprise and are laying them out!
Monroe: All hell has broken loose in the Cheesedome tonight!
The cameras cut back to ringside as "Faded" begins to play and Joe Mama appears on the rampway, Big Cheese Title over his shoulder and "Loosie" in his hand. JM runs down the rampway, dropping the belt and sliding into the ring. He goes to work on Pig Iron with "Loosie" nailing him in the sternum before turning his attention to Spamm.
The fight is playing out all over the arena, in the ring, around the area, and into the crowd as we cut back to the announce position.
Monroe: Fans, I hate to do this, but we're out of time! We'll see you at Anathema Wednesday!
Havoc fades out as the out of control brawl continues in the Cheesedome!
