Hardcore Porn Title
Charlie (C) vs. Chewy Walrus
*AC/DC’s TNT blasts over the speakers as Chewy Walrus makes his way down to the ring with his bike chain flail in his hand. He sidesteps the collection of weapons at ringside and climbs into the ring as the crowd cheers. He hands his hat over to the ring attendant and waits.
The Kaiser Chiefs' 'I Predict a Riot' cuts in as Charlie struts down to the ring with a big grin on his face and his title around his waist. He unstraps his belt as he comes through the ropes and holds his trophy up for everyone to see. The ref takes the belt and hands it off to the attendant then calls for the bell to start the match.*
Monroe: This is the second match-up tonight involving the SDC and The Family. It is all leading up to the Conniver Series match next week.
Marcum: This is just a warm-up beating so Charlie can show the SDC just what he’s going to do to them at the Series.
*The two men circle around the ring for a few seconds before Chewy charges with his flail held high above his head. Charlie quickly drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring.*
Monroe: Looks like Charlie is a little scared.
Marcum: It’s called strategy, pea brain. Charlie is making the Walrus come after him.
*Chewy keeps motioning to Charlie to get back into the ring. Charlie just smiles as he circles the ring.*
Marcum: See, there is no count outs in a hardcore match. Charlie can stay outside as long as he wants. If Chewy wants a fight, he’ll have to come to Charlie for it.
*Chewy decides to go after Charlie. As he’s coming through the ropes, Charlie runs up and cracks Chewy across the head with a Singapore cane stopping the Walrus’s forward motion. A few more whacks to the side of Chewy’s head had the SDC big man drop his flail and drops backwards into the ring. Charlie reaches under the bottom rope and pulls Chewy’s head the through, hanging it off the side of the apron. Charlie steps back a little, raises the cane over his head, runs towards Chewy, and drops the cane across Walrus’s throat.*
Monroe: My gawd!
Marcum: Hardcore rules, baby! Anything goes!
*Chewy rolls back into the ring, holding his throat. Charlie climbs up on the apron. As he’s climbing back in through the ropes, Chewy reaches out and sweeps Charlie’s foot out from under him. Pain shoots across Charlie’s face as his groin straddles the rope.
Chewy rolls out of the ring and goes to set up a table at ringside. Charlie attacks him from behind with a stop sign. Chalie sets the sign down on the table and smashes Chewy’s face into it. Holding Chewy by the hair, Charlie walks around ringside, colliding the Walrus’s face into everything, the railing, the apron, the ring post, before rolling the man back into the ring. Charlie grabs Chewy’s flail and wraps one of the chains around his fist before sliding back into the ring himself. He puts a headlock on Chewy and begins to pound away at the man’s skull with the chain wrapped fist.*
Marcum: He’s wearing him down now.
*With his last bit of strength, Chewy lifts Charlie up. Charlie keeps punching away as the Walrus falls backwards, onto the ropes. He uses the momentum to toss Charlie backwards, onto the table with the stop sign laying on it. Chewy falls to his knees as blood runs down the side of his face. Charlie lays crumpled in a heap on the outside.
Chewy exits out of the other side of the ring and grabs a steel chair. He rolls back and sets the chair up in the ring close to the ropes. Charlie is now to his feet, though a little groggy and confused. Chewy reached down from the ring and grabs Charlie by the hair. The Walrus pulls Charlie back onto the ring apron.*
Monroe: What’s he..... Oh my gawd! I think Chewy is setting Charlie up to be suplexed onto the steel chair!
Marcum: What? No! The ref needs to call this match right now!
Monroe: Hardcore rules. Anything goes.
*As Chewy tries to suplex Charlie back into the ring, Charlie ties his leg up in the ropes to block the move. Chewy tries but can’t lift all the way. Charlie then drops his weight, bringing the Walrus’s already injured throat down on the top rope. Chewy staggers backwards as Charlie reenters the ring. He drop kicks Chewy, and the Walrus stumbles backwards and gets his arms tangled up in the ropes.
Charlie smiles as he sees his trapped prey. He picks up the chair. Balls Nasty bounds out of the audience, over the guardrail and slides into the ring. Charlie sees Nasty and turns to hit him with the chair. Balls hits Charlie with a big boot that drives the chair into Charlie’s face. Charlie drops the chair and staggers about drunkenly in the ring. Nasty picks up the chair and lays Charlie out cold on his back.*
Balls Nasty: You don’t have your friends with you now, do you, Charlie? Can’t take the heat by yourself, can you? I’m going to destroy you Bastardos. Destroy!
*Nasty drops the chair to his side and turns around to see that Chewy has worked his way out of the ropes. After a few seconds Chewy offers his hand to Balls Nasty. Nasty looks around to the audience, who are cheering at the top of their lungs.*
Monroe: This is it. Balls Nasty is supposed to lead this man as well as PenWing and Sammitch at Conniver Series against the Bastardo Family. This is where a grand alliance is formed.
Marcum: Oh no!
*Balls begins to nod his head at the crowd’s cheer of approval. Nasty extends his own hand. The crowd pops even more. As Chewy goes to accept it, Nasty pulls the Walrus into a DDT.*
Monroe: He just DDT’ed Chewy Walrus on the steel chair! What does this mean for Conniver Series?
Marcum: It means that The Family is going to run rough shod over the SDC and Balls Nasty!
*Nasty leaves the ring and climbs back over the guardrail and out through the audience. The ref looks down to notice that Chewy’s arm is draped over Charlie. 1-2-3. The bell is rung while the ref tries to wake Chewy and give him his new title.*
Monroe: And once again the Hardcore Porn Title switches hands.
Marcum: No! This isn’t fair!
Monroe: This title, due to the sheer extremes of the division itself, is one of the hardest championships to hold on to.
Marcum: There was cheating! You can’t lose a title through cheating!
Monroe: You know damn well that there is no such thing as cheating in the Hardcore division. Charlie won thanks to interference from Johnny Evil and his crew; and now, thanks to Balls Nasty, Chewy Walrus has become the Hardcore Porn Champion.
