Intercuntinental Championship
Darth (C) vs. Johnny Evil
The "Soarin'" theme by Jerry Goldsmith plays over the speakers as Johnny Evil makes his way to the ring accompanied by his wife, Ariel, and her bodyguard, Big Fat Elvis.
Monroe: It looks like Ariel has cleaned up nicely!
Marcum: Hey, that's Johnny's wife you're talking about!
The sound of sirens blasts over the speakers before "Countdown To Armageddon" starts playing. Pig Iron slowly walks down the ramp, accompanied by Chesty Lerou.
Monroe: This is strange. Why isn't Chesty walking down with Darth?
The lights go out and lightning strikes the ring posts. Darth's voice is heard over the speakers.
"Beware the POWER...of the dark siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddde!"
Lighting strikes the ring posts again, and the lights flicker back on. Big Fat Elvis and Ariel are lying unconscious outside the ring, and Darth is standing behind Johnny Evil. Johnny looks in shock at the carnage. Pig Iron casually waves a chair in his hands, and Chesty is wiping her mouth with a handkerchief.
Monroe: Buhgawb! Pig Iron busted Big Fat Elvis open with a steel chair, probably via Swine-A-Sault, and Chesty knocked Ariel out with Hellfire (red mist)!
Marcum: That's fucked up!
Johnny slow turns to face Darth, who smiles at him. Johnny strikes at Darth's gut with a quick knee, and Lothar signals the bell. Johnny tries to execute the CTX, but Darth pushes him away and quickly knocks him down with a clothesline. Darth drops and elbow, but Johnny rolls out of the way. Johnny quickly gets to his feet and climbs the ropes. As Darth stands up, Johnny leaps off the top rope for a Surprise In The Sky, and takes Darth down with a Mongolian chop. He then runs to another corner, and when Darth gets up again, he leaps off the ropes for another Surprise In The Sky, this time hitting a flying clothesline. Johnny runs to third corner, and when Darth gets up again, he leaps at him, but this time Darth sidesteps Johnny, who somehow manages to land on his feet. Johnny turns around, and Darth Maul's him (big boot). Darth walks to the corner ropes and scales them. This time, it's Johnny who gets to his feet, and Darth leaps at him a Concussion Missile (missile dropkick). Darth goes for the cover, but Johnny kicks out at two.
Monroe: Unbelievable!
Marcum: No, that's Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil!
Darth pulls Johnny to his feet, but Johnny manages to take control and execute an atomic drop. Darth stumbles backwards into Lothar, knocking him over as he falls to the mat. Johnny immediately begins to go to work on Darth with a series of punches to his head. Darth tries to get back to his feet, but Johnny pushes him into the ropes and uses them to strangle the Sith Lord. Chesty begins to move towards the ring, but Pig Iron holds her back.
Monroe: Why is Pig Iron holding Chesty back? Johnny should be disqualified for this anyway!
Marcum: Obviously he doesn't want Chesty to get hurt. And he probably wants Darth out of the way! I mean, who wouldn't?
Darth continues to struggle, and finally hits Johnny with a low blow of his own. Johnny falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring as Darth pulls his head out of the ropes. As Darth recovers in the ring, Pig Iron approaches Johnny Evil. Pig Iron starts beating down on Johnny Evil, kicking him while he's down. Darth move the center of the ring and calls for Pig Iron to throw Johnny in. Pig Iron lifts Johnny over his head throws him back in. Darth waits for Johnny to get to his feet while Chesty shakes Lothar awake. Johnny stumbles over to Darth, who spits Hellfire at him. Johnny screams as his hands go to his face, and Darth runs at him and hits the Oman (running DDT). That gets the crowd to their feet.
Monroe: This looks bad for Johnny Evil!
Marcum: Big Fat Elvis is back on his feet!
Big Fat Elvis runs at Pig Iron from behind and takes him down with a thunderous clothesline. Chesty yells for Darth to turn around as Ariel distracts Lothar. Darth walks towards her, but Big Fat Elvis steps into the ring and pushes Darth into the ropes, sandwiching Lothar, and knocking Ariel off the ring apron. Darth turns around, but Big Fat Elvis knocks him down with another thunderous clothesline. He then climbs the ropes and leaps onto Darth, seemingly crushing him with a splash.
Marcum: That had to hurt!
Monroe: What about Ariel? He hurt her, too!
Marcum: She knew what she was doing!
Big Fat Elvis goes to wake Johnny, not noticing Pig Iron as he steps into the ring. Pig Iron spins Big Fat Elvis around low blows him. He then hits the Schwein Slop Suplex (Northern Lights), and rolls Big Fat Elvis out of the ring. Pit Iron slides out of the ring behind him, and continues his beat down. Johnny slowly gets back to his feet, and seeing Darth down, he makes his way to the corner ropes. As Johnny reaches the top rope, he looks back just in time to see Darth sit up. Johnny jumps up for another Surprise In the Sky, but this time Darth catches him in a choke hold, lifts him high in the air, and sends him to the mat with a Sabreslam. Darth makes the cover, and Pig Iron wakes Lothar, who counts three for the pin. "Imperial March" starts playing as Darth, Chesty, and Pig Iron celebrate in the ring.
