“Countdown to Armageddon” begins playing over the Cheesedome loudspeakers.
Marcum: “Oooh, boy I wonder what Pig Iron has to say?”
Monroe: “One thing is for sure—it will be crazy. He’s a nutjob.”
Pig Iron walks into the ring escorting the ex-officer Schwarz through the ropes. Ex-Officer Schwarz is no longer wearing her police uniform, and is instead wearing black hot pants, a tied off-midriff revealing dress shirt, motorcycle boots, and her old police belt complete with accessories.
Monroe: “Hot damn another babe, but what is she doing with the Dark Lords? She must be suffering from some disorder, or she could be suffering from venereal Schwartz, and it’s affecting her brain.”
Marcum: “Not funny, Marcum and venereal warts doesn’t have that affect--you’re thinking of syphilis.”
Monroe: “ No comment.”
PI grabs the mic…. To random boos and a few cheers from the crowd
PI: “I was going to come out here with my buddy SPAMM, but it seems he was up to random nuttiness back stage and I couldn’t find him. Anyway, I just thought I’d take a second to introduce everyone to a lovely young lady who came to us just last week. Well, she was enlisted last week…it seems I have an eye for new talent. Tell us a bit about yourself Ms. Schwarz.”
Ex- Officer Schwarz: “Well, I quit my job last week, and I decided to come to the RDCW to help in your crusade because it sounded worthwhile. I kept my belt though because it has lots of cool gadgets, but they wouldn’t let me keep the handgun. Sorry, I don’t feel really comfortable doing this I’m more a woman of action.”
PI: “Hah. Let’s hope so. Tell the audience your name and such.”
Ex-Officer Schwarz: “Oohh, I’m sorry…” PI interrupts…
PI: “ Aaah,aah, aahh. What’s the third rule of the Dark Lords?”
Ex-Officer Schwarz: “Oh, yeah. We never apologize. Hello everybody, my name is Heidi Schwarz, and I’m the new Enforcer for the Dark Lords.” Raises her hand holding her nightstick and the crowd pops.
Marcum: “Wow, that’s a nice welcome, and boy does she have a nice a...”
Monroe: “Assuming she is the new “Enforcer” I wonder what her job duties are?”
Heidi Schwarz: “So, I guess everyone will be seeing me soon laying down punishment for the dark lord brand of justice.”
PI: “Schwarz, don’t give away too much now. Anyway, SPAMM and I have an upcoming match with Chewy Walrus and Kilconey. “
The crowd pops….
PI: “A team, the Hardcore champ and his life partner. All they need is Sammitch to complete the trinity of Paragon Puppets. He pulls the strings…pull the string Paragon, pull the string. Manipulate your puppets—you master of puppetry—master of puppets. The Bastardos, The Sudden Death Connection, The Tuesday Night Rockers, The IV….puppets all. I see your manipulations and the fracturing of the RDCW Paragon. The Whoayyahhhh of Paainnnn will start fracturing things himself, Paragon. And the fracturing will begin with the Walrus and Kilconey, and I also think SPAMM has some pent up frustration he needs to dish out…”
Monroe: “ Why does he always go on about this conspiracy stuff…its getting rather tired.”
PI: “Glooorriious Paain will be served up for the crowd. Gladiators will compete in the eternal battle. The war that Paragon started will continue, and the Dark Lords will be one step closer to their goals. A single battle will ensue, the campaign will continue...The Campaign of Paainnnnn, and it will begin with Paragon’s new puppets Walrus and Kilconey. The Whhooayyaaahh off Darknnneesss and SPAMM will bring forth another epic battle, and darkness will ensue. I taught you all that a pig can fly…and you will belieeeeeve again…when I’m through with Chewy Walrus you will all believe a Fat Ass can fly.
FLY, FAT ASS, FLYYYYYYYY! .”
Exit music..to mixed reaction from the crowd.
Marcum: “Insane, just insane. But we do have some new eye candy.”
Last edited by Pig Iron; 2005-12-17 2:11 AM.
