Johnny Evil vs. MisterJLA

Fat Retard is waiting outside the "IV" locker room, hoping to catch JLA. After a few moments, he does...

Quote:

Fat Retard: BY GOD! JLA! I want to be the first to hear your comments, about the Allied Powers' loss of the Tag Team Cham...

JLA: ...

Fat Retard: JLA?

JLA: ...







JLA winds up his leg, and connects with...



"Final Justice"!

Fat Retard slumps to the arena floor. JLA picks up the fallen mic, and stares into the camera...

Quote:

JLA: Did you all see that? That was EEEE-VIL! Kicking a defenseless fat nimrod in the balls is the very definition of evil!

And how appropriate that tonight, I face Johnny EEEE-VIL! Johnny, you don't know what Evil is all about! Evil is what I do! Evil is going out to the local tittie bar, sitting there for hours on end, and not even buying a drink, nor a dance! Evil is scouring the Internet for porn passwords that other suckers paid for! Evil is spamming Rob's precious little boards, in an attempt to amuse oneself, AND to piss people off!

You might be the toughest Faggot to compete here, but I'm going to show the RDCW the difference between a lightweight like you, and a true heavyweight like me!



JLA looks down at Fat Retard with disgust. He picks him up by his shirt.

Quote:

JLA: As for the RAWKERS...their days are numbered.

And Big Fat Elvis...I have a plan for him as well!




JLA snaps his fingers, and Captain Howdy and Jeeves emerge from the locker room, and flank JLA.

Quote:

Howdy: Snap yer fingers at me again, you bloody cunt, and I'll break 'em off!

JLA:



Rob's Damn Killer Instinct Rip Off Theme Music plays, and the three make their way to the ring. Johnny Evil, his wife Ariel and her bodyguard Big Fat Elvis are already in the ring.

Quote:

Howdy: Crickey! Elvis is HUGE!

JLA: Yeah, I heard he's on the "LLance diet". No matter, it's your job to neutralize him. Jeeves, can you see to it that Ariel doesn't get involved?

Jeeves: You can count on me, sir!

JLA: Considering how Chesty did you earlier, I have my doubts.

Jeeves:





JLA enters the ring, and we're off!

Before Evil and JLA lock up, JLA, knowing that Evil is big on martial arts and striking, gets in a defensive position!



Evil charges him, and quickly knocks him to the canvas with a kick of his own!

The match goes on for about 20 minutes, as Evil hits JLA with a variety of strikes and a few moves, while JLA counters with an array of semi-botched moves and holds!

The momentum turns in Evil's favor, when JLA attempts his Final Justice! Evil steps out of the way, and delivers "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride": A Cradle neckbreaker that starts out like a fisherman's suplex!

Evil holds JLA in a pinning position, but before Lothar can make the 3 count, Howdy jumps on the apron and distracts the ref!

Big Fat Elvis immediately pulls Howdy off the apron, and the two begin to brawl! Jeeves then puts his gentlemen like qualities aside, and chases Ariel back to the locker room!

Quote:

Jeeves: I do apologize my dear, but these are my employer's orders! This is nothing personal, I assure you!

Ariel: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!





Lothar finally turns his back away from the chaos outside the ring, and makes the count.

1...2...JLA kicks out!

Quote:

Monroe: Evil had him pinned for a 10 count!



Evil complains to Lothar, and turns his back on JLA. JLA gets to his feet, and wisely spins Evil around, and delivers a...



Quote:

Fat Retard: DROP TOE HOLD!



Evil's face hits the canvas with such force, that his nose is bloodied.

Quote:

JLA: GOSH! His nose is bleeding! Lothar, get this man a towel!





Lothar foolishly turns his back on the action, and leaves the ring to retrieve a towel. JLA smirks, stands up Johnny Evil, and then connects with "Final Justice"!



Evil falls to the mat, and JLA pins him.

Lothar re-enters the ring, looks confused for a moment, drops the towel, and then makes the count.

1...2...

But JLA breaks his own pin. An EEEE-VIL look is on his face, as he picks JE off the canvas, and then throws him over the top rope!

Quote:

Monroe: He could have had the pin!



Howdy and Elvis still duke it out, while Lothar counts Johnny Evil out.

Quote:

James White: The winner, by countout: MisterJLA!




JLA dives out of the ring, and helps Howdy beat down Big Fat Elvis. The Allied Powers roll him into the ring, then proceed to try to throw him over the top rope.

Quote:

Howdy: This bugger is heavy! Help me out!

JLA: I'm trying! Lift with your legs!

Howdy: FUCK! I think the top rope is going to snap!

JLA: Just pretend it was that sheep you were trying to help over the fence!

Howdy: Fuck off!



The Powers finally manage to throw Big Fat Elvis over the top rope. He lands close to Johnny Evil. JLA gets the mic from James White...

Quote:

JLA: I just threw two men over the top rope! That was a small preview of Rob's Randy Rumble! I'm going to be in that FUCKING event, and if I have to eliminate the other 29 wankers in the battle royale, I will!

Howdy: You git, don't you realize I'm in the battle royale, too?




JLA and Howdy look at each suspiciously...