Dark Lords (Grimm & Pig Iron) vs. SDC (Penwing & Captain Sammitch)
“Cemetary Gates” plays as Harleykwin and Heidi Schwarz lead Grimm and Pig Iron to ringside. The Dark Lords step into the ring and Grimm sits in one of the corners as kwin sits on his lap. Pig Iron stands in another corner as Schwarz playfully bats at him with her nightstick.
“Let’s Get It Started” cues up as Captain Sammitch makes his way to ringside alone.
Monroe: I don't understand, where's PenWing? The SDC always come out to the ring
together.
Bastardo: PenWing probably passed out from all that blood loss earlier. He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, Monroe.
Sammitch climbs into the ring, looking stoic. He surveys the ring and removes his jacket."Detroit Rock City" hits and PenWing makes his way to the ring. He's still dressed in his street clothes, and the front of his shirt is drenched with blood. The gash on his forehead is bandaged again. PenWing is carrying a Sherwood, heavily taped. PenWing rolls into the ring and poses for the crowd.
PenWing motions for Grimm to start against him, but Grimm turns his back and steps out onto the ring apron as the crowd booes heavily. Sammitch attempts to corral PenWing back into his corner, but PenWing blows right past him and attempts to get at Grimm.
He’s blocked by a spear from Pig Iron, however. PI works PenWing over with several elbowdrops. He steps on PenWing’s throat and taunts Sammitch on the ring apron before setting up for a Pork U. PenWing slips out and tries for a Drag-N-Whip, but PI reverses into a Hog Heaven! Pin attempt gets two, and Pig Iron berates Lothar.
Bastardo: I don’t understand why an incompetant like Lothar is allowed to keep his job!
Monroe: Lothar calls it down the middle, Louie! Unlike some people.
Pig Iron goes for an Iron Cross, but PenWing ducks under and rolls into his corner, tagging in Sammitch.
Pig Iron and Captain Sammitch circle each other in the ring a few times before locking up. Pig Iron immediately uses his size advantage to throw Sammitch into the corner, and he runs at him with a shoulder, but the Captain gets out of the way, and locks his arms around Pig Iron for a Sammitch Suplex. Sammich can't maintain the hold, and Pig Iron goes flying out of his arms on impact. Both wrestlers return to their feet, and Sammitch begins assaulting Pig Iron with a series of martail arts chops and kicks, keeping his opponent off balance. Unexpectedly, Sammitch sends Pig Iron to the mat with a Sammitch Spin, and quickly goes for the cover. He makes the pin and PI is down, but Ms. Schwarz
took that moment to climb the ring apron and tell Lothar that he's been a naughty boy.
Monroe: Sammitch just won this match! Look at the blatant cheating going on right now!
Bastardo: Did Schwarz just call Lothar a naughty boy?
Sammitch gets up to check on affairs, but Grimm hits him with a clothesline, sending him crashing to the mat! Grimm laughs and turns but PenWing flies into him from the top turnbuckle! Grimm lands on the mat, but rolls over and begins pounding away at PenWing’s forehead opening him up again.
Bastardo: That’s never gonna heal if you keep playing with it!
Monroe: PenWing is not himself tonight, fans!
Bastardo: Of course he isn’t! Grimm’s gotten into his peanut head and driven him insane!
Sammitch breaks things up with a Sammitch Spin, knocking Grimm off and goes for the Sammitch Series of Suplexes. But Pig Iron catches him off guard with an inverted ddt, following up with a Pig on the Wing!
PI tries for another pin attempt, but Sammitch gets his shoulder up at the two count. PI locks in the Hogtied Cradle, but Sammitch manages to get to the ropes. Schwarz and Harleykwin begin calling Lothar over to the corner again, blowing kisses at him. Lothar is sufficiently distracted and Grimm and Pig Iron go for a doubleteam.
But PenWing runs in and the four brawl across the ring. Lothar tries to restore order and eventually does. PI tags in Grimm, who continues working over Sammitch, applying the dragon sleeper. Lothar checks Sammitch’s arm, but Sammitch rallies as the fans chant his name.
Monroe: Sammitch is fighting his way out!
Bastardo: He’s listening to all those humanoids in the audience!
Sammitch fights out and elbows Grimm in the sternum, before whipping him into the ropes! He nails a Sammitch Slam and goes for the pin, but is interrupted by Harleykwin! Sammitch is unsure what to do as kwin runs him down in the ring, but is soon reassured as Meeko hits the ring and takes kwin down! The two women fight to the outside where Schwarz joins in, pounding Meeko with her nightstick!
Pig Iron steps in and goes for the Schwein Shlop Suplex, but PenWing hits him with a BC 2 Hander, sending him to the floor! Sammitch and PenWing hit the Sudden Death on Grimm and Sammitch makes the pin! Lothar counts to three and the SDC wins the match!
Sammitch and PenWing celebrate, but Pig Iron rolls back in and nails them both with chairshots, dropping them to the mat! Grimm hits Triple 6 Bombs on both of them and motions to the back where Spandex Monkey Man runs down to the ring with a canister of gasoline.
Spamm pours gasoline around the ring as the Dark Lords take to the floor. Captain Sammitch rolls to the floor holding his head and attempting to recover. Spamm produces a lighter and sets the ring ablaze!
Monroe: Buhgawb! They’ve set the ring on fire with PenWing in it!
PenWing recovers and looks around the ring before beginning to laugh uncontrollably!
Monroe: He’s. . .he’s laughing!
Bastardo: The knucklehead’s gone insane!
Monroe: Someone call 911! We have to shut off this blaze! Fans, we’ll be back next week!
