The clock counted down again as the former IC Champion, Doc. Mid-Nite hit the ring! Mid-Nite allied with his 4 teammate, Capt. Howdy, and joined in on a beatdown on Pig Iron!
Mid-Nite then turned his attention to Chewy, following a Darth Sabreslam up with a Rolling Thunder splash!
Monroe: Normally, that move sets up Doc’s Nite Cap!
Bastardo: He better not go to the top rope in this match!
Mid-Nite and Darth then began brawling and the clock counted down again! Senor
Muerte hit the ring and went straight for Mid-Nite! Mid-Nite backdropped the luchadore up and over the top but walked into a Sithspawn from Darth!
Chewy Walrus slammed into Darth, knocking the Sith Lord backwards into a turnbuckle, and followed up with several shoulders into the midsection!
Monroe: Chewy’s been out there a long time!
Bastardo: He’s gotta be getting tired by now. Especially after getting slammed through that table!
Monroe: He’s a competitor!
The clock struck again as the Million $ Pitbull, Charlie hit the ring, brandishing a table leg!
Monroe: Another former Hardcore Porn Champ! Looks like Charlie’s pissed about losing his title earlier!
Bastardo: He’s going a little old school tonight! He's gonna take hardcore to the Rumble!
Charlie nailed Chewy Walrus with the table leg, and took a shot at Darth for good measure for turning his attention to Pig Iron! He pummeled the Wooaayahhh of Paaaainnnn while Mid-Nite and Howdy turned their attention to Darth.
Highwayman hit the ring next and Charlie held Pig Iron for a Stand and Deliver superkick! Highwayman and Charlie tried to dump PI, but he managed to hold onto the ropes!
“Breakin the Law” played again as the Giant Luchadore, El Superbeasto hit the ring as #20!
Monroe: Buhgawb! What a draw for Superbeasto!
Bastardo: He’s rested and fresh! He’ll be damn near unstoppable this late in the match!
Superbeasto hit the ring and went right after Highwayman, tossing his former stablemate easily!
Monroe: He feels abandoned by his former allies, Louie!
Bastardo: That’s not my fault!
Monroe: There’s one more for you over here, Giant!
Bastardo: Shut up!
Charlie went after Superbeasto with the table leg, but the Giant Luchadore shrugged off the blow. He picked Charlie up high over head and dumped the two time Hardcore Porn Champ over the top with ease!
Monroe: Another former partner gone!
Bastardo: I told you!
Monroe: Don't forget Louie, he abandoned you too!
Bastardo: I did not!
James Fantastic hit the ring next and the TNR member immediately went for the Giant, but Superbeasto was on a roll and tossed Fantastic quickly! Superbeasto signalled for the Chokeslam to Oblivion!
Monroe: The Giant is on a roll!
Howdy, Darth, Mid-Nite, Chewy, and Pig Iron all attempted to gang up on the Giant Luchadore, but he managed to hold them off as the clock counted down again!
Howler of Howlerama was next and he went after the Giant as well, determined to avenge his friend’s elimination, but the Giant nailed with several Giant Headbutts, staggering him back! A Chokeslam to Oblivion and Howler was easy prey for the Giant!
#23 in the Randy Rumble was Big Fat Elvis! Elvis climbed up to the ring steps, but paused to finish his cheeseburger. Darth pulled him into the ring and began pummeling the enormous bodyguard!
Rob’s Killer Instinct Ripoff Music sounded again as MisterJLA entered the Rumble!
Monroe: All three active members of the 4 are now in the Rumble!
Bastardo: This is where the numbers are really come into play now!
Monroe: You know a lot about playing numbers, don’t you?
Bastardo: Purely speculation on your part, Monroe!
JLA entered the ring and along with Howdy and Mid-Nite ganged up on El Superbeasto! Howdy and Mid-Nite held the Giant’s arms while JLA delivered a devastating “Final Justice” to the Giant!
Monroe: Well, that certainly slowed him down!
Bastardo: That’s one way to kill a giant!
El Asesino was next in the match, and immediately went after Chewy Walrus!
Monroe: Asesino going after the man who’s been in the match the longest!
Bastardo: Smart thinking!
Asesino set Chewy up for a running corner splash, but the drained Walrus dropped down and Asesino hit the turnbuckles! Pained, the luchadore staggered back into a SabreSlam from Darth, and the Sith Lord tossed him up and over the top!
Following that, Darth and Pig Iron teamed up on Big Fat Elvis, attempting to hoist him out of the ring! JLA, Howdy, and Mid-Nite joined in, as did Chewy and Superbeasto! Finally, the group eliminated the massive bodyguard!
Monroe: Big Fat Elvis has left the Randy Rumble!
Tommy “The Surgeon” Savitz hit the ring next and went for Superbeasto, attempting to hit a Scalpelplex on the Giant, but the Luchadore blocked the move and broke free of Savitz’ hold! He grabbed Howdy and rammed Savitz and Howdy together with a noggin knocker!
The brawl continued as Spandex Monkey man entered the match, as did Chevy Nova!
Monroe: Apparently they’re entering the match together?
Bastardo: I don’t know! Who knows what these guys are thinking?!
Spamm and Nova pulled off their MWO tshirts and attempted to offer them to El
Superbeasto! The Giant paused for a moment before delivering a double chokeslam to them both!
Darth nailed the Giant with an Omen, before PI followed up with a Pork U in the center of the ring!
Monroe: I guess the Dark Lords can still work together sometimes!
Bastardo: But can they do it long enough for one of them to win this?
Johnny Evil made his way to the ring, accompanied by Arial.
Monroe: He’s #29, Louie! Only one person left to enter the match!
Bastardo: What a great draw for Johnny! Last year he was one of the final four men!
Monroe: He almost won!
JE stepped in the ring and watched as the Allied Powers hit the Allied Bombing on Savitz before tossing him out! JE applauded and motioned for the 4 members to continue, and continue they did! Another Allied Bombing and Evil was easy prey for the former tag champs!
Monroe: The Allied Powers working very well together now!
Bastardo: They’re a well oiled machine, Monroe!
Next, the Powers and Mid-Nite teamed up to eliminate Chewy Walrus, following another Allied Bombing with a Blackout Bomb from The Late One, and Chewy’s bid to win was no more!
Monroe: This crowd is standing and applauding Chewy’s effort!
Bastardo: He went a long, long way, but no one can stand against three men!
Monroe: Superbeasto did earlier tonight, Louie!
Bastardo: That was a tag match, you moron!
Darth and Pig Iron brawled again, as Pig Iron went for a Schwein Shlop Suplex, but Darth reversed into a Sabreslam and tossed his ally up and over the top!
Bastardo: Bad move! They shoulda held off until everyone else was gone!
The clock finished it’s final countdown as #30 hit the ring, the new IC Champion, Captain Sammitch! The crowd got to it’s feet as Sammitch rushed down to the ring and immediately began brawling with Doc. Mid-Nite!
Monroe: Sammitch is #30! One of these men will go to RobbleMania to fight for the World Title!
Mid-Nite punched away at Sammitch and went for a clothesline, but Sammitch scooped him into an overhead Sammitch Suplex and dumped him out and over the top!
The Allied Powers were attempting to dump Superbeasto, and Darth joined in! Another group effort from all in the ring resulted and Superbeasto finally went up and over!
Monroe: The Giant has been eliminated!
Bastardo: That was a smart move! Gang up on the biggest guy out there and toss him!
Darth immediately turned his attention towards Chevy Nova and Spandex Monkey Man
and hit Sabreslams on them both, before hurling them out of the ring and over the top!
Monroe: We are down to the final four! Darth! Howdy! JLA! and Sammitch!
The Allied Powers squared off and began brawling with Sammitch and Darth. JLA
whipped Sammitch into the ropes and Jeeves grabbed Sammitch’s leg, attempting to trip him! Sammitch turned and grabbed at Jeeves as JLA came flying at him! Sammitch ducked down and JLA went flying over the top rope, landing on Jeeves!
Monroe: I think JLA was just eliminated!
Bastardo: No! Look! He landed on Jeeves!
JLA did indeed land on Jeeves, and held his feet high into the air. The officials signaled that his feet had not touched the ground and therefore he was not eliminated and he lifted up and was placed back into the match!
Monroe: This isn’t right!
Bastardo: It’s the rules! His feet never touched the floor!
JLA hit Sammitch from behind as Howdy ducked under a charging Darth and eliminated the Sith Lord! Howdy hit a Twatbuster on Sammitch and the Powers celebrated as Jeeves entered the ring!
Monroe: I think Jeeves just entered the Rumble!
Bastardo: Don’t be silly, Monroe!
The Powers argued over who would toss Sammitch while Jeeves attempted to calm things down.
Monroe: Well oiled machine, huh?
Bastardo: Most of the time. Every machine needs it’s oil changed every now and then.
Sammitch recovered and hit a flying dropkick on the Powers, sending them reeling! He followed up with a running clothesline that sent Howdy over the top and out to the floor!
Monroe: SAMMITCH!! SAMMITCH!! SAMMITCH!!
Bastardo: Are you hungry or something?
Sammitch then picked up Jeeves into a Sammitch Slam and dumped him out of the ring as well!
Monroe: He eliminated Jeeves for good measure!
Bastardo: Uncalled for! Jeeves wasn't in the match!
Monroe: Then he should've stayed out of the ring!
Sammitch paused to signal to the fans that it was over, which allowed MisterJLA just enough time to hit a “Final Justice” on the SDC leader! The fans booed heavily as MisterJLA smirked in the ring. Grabbing Sammitch by the hair he picked him up and delivered a second “Final Justice” on his foe!
Monroe: That was uncalled for!
Bastardo: You didn’t hear what Sammitch said to JLA before that!
With ease, JLA tossed Sammitch out of the ring and dropped to his knees in celebration as Rob’s Killer Instinct Ripoff Music began to play again!
James White made the announcement: “The winner of the 2006 Randy Rumble. .
.MisterJLA!!!!!!!!”
Monroe: Fans, this is a travesty! We’ll see you next week on Tuesday Night Havoc. For the RDCW, I’m Mike “The Mouth” Monroe. Good night!
