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Posts: 342
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Chewy Walrus / Killconey (54%, 7 Votes)
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Captain Sammitch / PenWing (46%, 6 Votes)
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PJP / Urg (36%, 5 Votes)
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Johnny Evil / Charlie (64%, 9 Votes)
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Outcasts (79%, 11 Votes)
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Playaz Club (21%, 3 Votes)
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Dr. William Paragon (14%, 2 Votes)
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Pig Iron (86%, 12 Votes)
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Harleykwin / Schwarz (80%, 12 Votes)
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Stareena / Butter (20%, 3 Votes)
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Spandex Monkey Man (64%, 9 Votes)
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Nowhereman (C) (36%, 5 Votes)
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I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Camera fades to the backstage area,where we see Joey Biles standing by the door to the Outcasts' dressing room;off to his right,Chris Oakley and El Superbeasto proudly flaunt their RDCW World Tag Team belts.
JOEY:Chris,you and the Giant Luchadore have bullseyes painted on you--not only do you have a match tonight against the Playaz Club,but a host of potential challengers are lining up to demand title shots against you at No Way Out of the Closet. Your reaction?
CHRIS:You want my reaction,Joey? Here it is:every team we face--INCLUDING the Playaz Club--will wind up being just another notch on our holsters. You saw how we conquered the Tuesday Night Rockers the night we won the belts. You saw last week how we annihilated Team OC. You know that I'm the only man in RDCW history ever to face the federation's entire roster in a single match...(nods toward El Superbeasto) and last but not least,you know about the sheer physical power and competitive spirit of the Giant Luchadore. Long story short,we're gonna kill the Playaz Club like D-Con kills rats.
SUPERBEASTO:And do not doubt that we can do it,Señor Biles--we are the greatest tag team in RDCW history! (raises his fist to the camera)
CHRIS:And one more thing,Joey....right here,right now,on behalf of myself and El Superbeasto,I am challenging Homeland Security to face us in a falls-count-anywhere match for the tag team titles at No Way Out of the Closet. I guarantee you that not only will we win that match,we're also going to win the T.I.T's and establish ourselves once and for all as the greatest RDCW tag team of all time.
Joey mouths "Holy crap!" to the camera as the Outcasts retire back to their dressing room to get ready for their match.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 257
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'Through the Fire and Flames' plays, and the crowd goes wild as James Fantastic, Big T and AJR appear on the ramp.
Louie: Just as I was beginning to enjoy myself!
The three come down to the ring, and Fantastic produces a mic from within his robe
James Fantastic: Before I get down to business, I have an announcement. Unfortunately my former tag partner Tommy Savitz has departed from RDCW. He has moved to India to continue his career as a doctor. I'm sure we all wish him the best in his life to come.
Now, let's get down to business, huh?
The crowd cheers, and Fantastic grins
James Fantastic: Now, doubtless some of you are wondering where I've been. Well, I've gone back to my roots, and I've been working in Rob's Damn Lucha Libre. You're looking at a former RDLL World Light-Heavyweight champion! WHOO!
Louie: Somebody please shut him up! I can't take anymore
Fantastic: Now, when I found out about Tommy's decision to leave, I figured we couldn't use the Rockers tag anymore. There were, and shall forever be, three Tuesday Night Rockers. That ain't ever gonna change, so now, ladies and gentlemen, ALL ABOOOOOAARD...THE REBEL EXPRESS!
The crowd pops, and Fantastic WHOO's again before handing the mic to Big T
Big T: The Outcasts better not think we've forgotten about them! Boys, y'all enjoy your time in the sun, 'cos whenever and wherever we want...we're taken those belts back!
More poptacular response from the crowd. AJR takes the mic
AJR: I've worked with a lot of wrestlers in my time, both as a manager and a wrestler, and these two men are among the very finest I've ever seen. When you consider that I was priveleged to stand alongside 5 time Big Cheese Champion 'Lager Lad' Dave Lister that's saying something. Whatever it takes, however long it may be, One Day The Rebel Express will stand at the top of the mountain!
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Camera cuts to the backstage area,where we see the Crotch chasing after a seemingly unruffled Chris Oakley.
CROTCH(almost out of breath):You've just heard James Fantastic's comments...your reply?
CHRIS:You can tell Jimmy Faboo for me that the Outcasts haven't forgotten him either.Once the Playaz Club and Homeland Security are out of our way,we're going to derail the Rebel Express.And hell yeah,we'll enjoy our time in the sun,because that time is going to last for YEARS,my friend.
CROTCH:What about AJR?
CHRIS:Not a problem.We've already recruited somebody from Ring of Dishonor to even things up,and he'll be in our corner at No Way Out Of The Closet.
CROTCH(staring in amazement):You don't mean....?
CHRIS:You'll just have to wait and see along with everybody else.
Chris flashes a cat-who-swallowed-the-canary grin before walking off-camera.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1
living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,546 Likes: 1 |
*Backstage, we see the Crotch, mic in hand.
Crotch: The leader of the Dark Lords, Grimm, has just entered the CheeseDome! I'm going to get an exclusive right now! Let's go!
The Crotch and the cameraman run up to Grimm who is attempting to walk past them, ignoring them.
Crotch: Grimm. . .Grimm! It's me, buddy, the Crotch! Why did you walk out alone for your match at the Randy Rumble? Are the rumors of dissension in the Dark Lords true?
Grimm looks at the Crotch disdainfully for walking on, ignoring the questions. The Crotch follows.
Crotch: C'mon, buddy, you gotta give me something! What about Pig Iron and Darth? What's with that? Can they really co exist? Chesty? Schwarz? There's gotta be some hard feelings there!
Grimm pauses for a moment, before giving Crotch another dirty look. Then he keeps walking. Crotch continues to follow.
Crotch: C'mon, man, work with me here! What about the MWO? What is their relationship to the Dark Lords? How do you feel about Spamm's title match tonight? C'mon, give me something here!
Grimm stops and seems to be considering something.
Grimm: You want me to "give" you something.
Crotch: Yeah, work with me here. Gimme something, man!
Grimm. Give you something. I'll give you something.
Grimm suckerpunches the Crotch in the gut, and rams him facefirst into the wall. The Crotch staggers back, and is caught with a clothesline, before Grimm punches away at his head, busting him open! Grimm picks him up and delivers a devastating Triple 6 Bomb onto the concrete floor! He kicks Crotch once more just for good measure.
Grimm: There, I gave you "something." Enjoy your scoop, Crotch.
Camera focuses on Grimm as he continues down the hallway. Fade out back to Monroe at ringside.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
T.I.T.s Matches
Captain Sammitch and PenWing vs. Chewy Walrus and Killconey
The two SDC tag teams faced off in a match that looked more like it would tear apart the faction for good rather than bring it back together. Captain Sammitch and Killconey did all they could to remind their tag partners that after the match they were still on the same side. But when Penwing and Chewy found themselves tagged into action at the same time, all bets were off. Both wrestlers gave everything they had, but the Warlus finally got the upperhand with a tusk, forcing Sammitch to break a count.
Chewy looked annoyed at his friend, but Killconey blind-tagged himself in. The high flying risk taker kept Sammitch off-balance and almost got a pinfall, but the IC champ kicked out at two, and quickly made a veteran decision to tag in Penwing. Shortly thereafter, Killconey avoided Sudden Death and tagged in Chewy, who surprised Penwing with Random Acts of Violence for the pin.
After the count, Chewy just stood over Penwing, and Captain Sammitch slipped into the ring to help his partner back to his feet. Penwing looked up at the Walrus and held his hand out. Chewy just stared at Penwing for a few moments, and finally took Penwing's hand in his monstrous grip. With a big smile on his face, Chewy raised Penwing's and Sammitch's hands to the crowd, and then lifted his tag team partner, Killconey up on his shoulders as the SDC celebrated their win in the ring to cheers from the crowd.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
T.I.T.s Matches
Johnny Evil and Charlie vs. PJP and Urg
Johnny Evil and Charlie again advanced in the tourney, as Big Fat Elvis chased Urg's handlers, The Teen Angels away from ringside. The mighty caveman left his partner in the ring to pummel the massive Elvis impersonator on the rampway as the two former Bastardoes doubleteamed PJP into oblivion!
Charlie finally hit a Million $ Pitbull, allowing Johnny to follow up with a Mission to Mars for the pin!
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
T.I.T.s Matches
Playaz Club vs. The Outcasts
TK-069 and Wednesday hit the ring to the strains of Eminem's "Slim Shady" and signal that they plan to put the 'Playa Hatin' manuver on El Superbeasto;as they're posing in the middle of the ring for their fans,"Breakin' the Law" erupts from the PA speakers and the Outcasts barrel into their opponents like a runaway train.
MONROE:The champs not wasting any time getting down to business!
LB:That's why they are the champs,Monroe!
The two teams brawl in the ring to start the match as the Playaz try to double team the Giant Luchadore, who shrugs them off like gnats. Giant Headbutts send TK and Wed reeling as Oakley follows up with swinging ddts, dropping them down to the mat!
Finally, Lothar manages to clear the extra men out to start the match proper, but the damage has been done. Superbeasto continues working over Wednesday in the center of the ring with simple maneuvers made deadly by his massive frame!
TK tries to get at the giant, but El Superbeasto flings TK-069 into the stands like a rag doll,then nails Wednesday with the Chokeslam to Oblivion;as the former RDCW hardcore champ lies dazed in the middle of the ring,the Giant Luchadore tags in his partner,who gestures to the crowd that he's ready to put the Red Alert on his foe.
LB:Looks like the Playaz Club are about to join the Tuesday Night Rockers, Los Cazadores, and Team OC on the Outcasts' casualty list!
MONROE:You're not kidding...Oakley picks Wednesday up...and WHAM!There's the Red Alert!1--2--3!(Referee signals the timekeeper to ring the bell to end the match)And the reigning RDCW world tag team champions move on to the next round of the T.I.T.s!
Posing triumphantly for the crowd,Oakley and Superbeasto show off their title belts;the camera zooms in on Chris,who mouths the words "Homeland Security's next." But The Outcasts are interrupted as Team OC's "Powerman 5000" theme music cues up instead of "Breakin' the Law."
Team OC appears on the rampway, holding pieces of the bloody table that the Outcasts sent them through last week.
Bastardo: I thought these guys were done!
Monroe: It looks like they're not ready to give up yet! They're still in the T.I.T.s as well!
Team OC and the Outcasts glare at each other across the arena as we fade out.
Last edited by Louie Bastardo; 2006-02-27 5:33 PM.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Grudge Match
Pig Iron vs. Dr. William Paragon
“Countdown To Armageddon” erupts and Pig Iron and Schwarz walk down the ramp.
Bastardo: “Well, Pig Iron looks sober tonight….for a change.”
Monroe: “Yes, hahahah. Time to live up to that role model status expected of all champions.”
Bastardo: “Monroe, he is Hardcore Porn Champion. He isn’t a role model.”
PI and Schwarz enter the ring and “Ode To Joy” blesses the ears of all those in the Cheesedome, and Dr. William Paragon enters the dome escorted by Princess Elisa and Rev. Willie Williams.
Monroe: “Pig Iron will learn some “Old School” tonight.”
Bastardo: “He will be taught a lesson I’m sure. The Hog Roast is about to begin especially with Paragon having his escorts to ensure fair play.”
Paragon enters the ring and asks the ref to check PI for illegal objects.
Monroe: “Smart move he really is a legend.”
The bell sounds and paragon goes for a neck clench power move, and gets it. The two men struggle with paragon maintaining an edge. PI goes to a knee and Paragon slides around for a quick ankle lock. PI uses his other leg to try to kick out of the hold, but can’t. Paragon continues to mangle the ankle of PI, and PI doesn’t give in but shows sign of pain and physical damage. Meanwhile the Rev and PE continue to fuel Paragon by giving him support. PI finally makes a last effort for the rope and gets it after Schwarz makes him aware how close he actually is. The ref signals for a break, but the damage looks harsh.
Bastardo: “He had that lock in for awhile….wheww.”
Paragon doesn’t wait long and grabs PI by the hair and lifts him up and gets in a quick german suplex. He goes for another but PI backs him into the ropes knocking a little wind out of him. PI takes advantage of the release and uses the ropes to gain momentum, but seems hampered by the ankle and paragon ends up clothes lining him instead off the rope rebound. Paragon again lifts PI to his feet and gets in two consecutive german suplexes.
Monroe: “Oooh, that looks painful. Ol’ PI is gonna need a few beers after the match I think.”
Paragon again lifts PI to his feet by the hair and reverse the hold into…
Bastardo: “ Shoulders of Atlas! Oh, my. This match has been all Paragon. PI doesn’t seem to have any spunk or is the legend…just that good?”
Paragon releases the hold and PI falls to the canvas. Schwarz bangs the mat to try to stir PI, and begins yelling at him. Paragon doesn’t immediately go for a cover, but instead begins swaggering in ring doing a trademark dance routine and yells to the crowd to a mingling of pops and boos.
Monroe: “One could only guess what Schwarz is saying to PI, but one thing I know…Paragon should go for the pin. This isn’t like the usual antics of the Legend that is Dr William Paragon.”
PI gets to his feet slowly as Paragon shakes his head and looks disgusted. He walks towards PI and PI kicks Paragon in the gut, but falls due to his injured ankle. Paragon grimaces and shakes it off. Paragon points at Schwarz and the ref backs her away from the ring, and while PI is using the ropes to stand up Paragon elbows PI from behind and begins choking him with the top rope. Schwarz warns the ref who walks over to Paragon getting him to stop. Paragon raises his hands in deference and looks smug. Meanwhile Schwarz walks over to PI and smacks him across the face as he slouches to get up. The ref again motions for Schwarz to get away, and PI looks dumbfounded. Paragon again grabs PI while his back is turned and tries to get in another suplex, but PI blocks the move with his leg. PI then gets in a blind reverse Pork U on the legend. Paragon seems rattled and PI gets up and tries to regain his composure. The Rev and PE urge Paragon on and the legend returns his focus to PI. The two men begin exchanging chest blows and it evolves into closed fist punches.
Monroe: “ PI seems to be getting some composure back.”
Bastardo: “ Back? This is the first he’s shown.”
PI and Paragon continue to lay blows upon one another, and appear more evenly matched. When Schwarz steps up to the ring.
Schwarz: “ Paragon, check out these pair-o D’s.” Schwarz unleashes her pleasure orbs from their bounded confines.
The crowd Pops madly. Paragon looks stunned and frozen PI then kicks Paragon in the stomach again. Paragon then doubles over setting up PI to lock in a colt-45 and he begins to run and brings Paragon down to the canvas.
Monroe: “ Bughawb! An Iron Cross. Louie, the Reverend has fainted at the site of those udderly fantastic pontoons of paradise.”
PI drags Paragon to ring center and puts him into a Hogtied Cradle as a fuming PE attacks Schwarz.
Bastardo: “ Catfight! The prurient Princess of virginal virtue is battling that badass babe from Roboken all the while the ref is going to mat….Paragon taps ,Paragon Taps.”
Schwarz takes a few blows from PE but not before she pulls down PE’s skirt.
Bastardo: “ Thong! The princess wears a thong I knew it. Paragon has tapped out and the good Reverend is still passed out cold.”
PE runs up the ramp while trying to pull up her skirt. PI exits the ring and lifts Schwarz into the air and then raises her arm signifying her importance in the match.
Monroe: “This must be a dream come true for Pig Iron defeating his arch nemesis, and what a Havoc for the fans in attendance. I wonder if Schwarz will get fined?”
Paragon motions for a mic…
Dr Paragon: “ Pig Iron. This isn’t the last of this. You can cheat all you want. I’ll know better next time, and next time is No Way Out Of The Closet…a hair match. You and I will duel once more. Not just for pride, but for a prize. Schwarz will be able to knit herself a nice sweater with your locks of hair, and cover herself up at the same time.”
Bastardo: “ I’m sure Doc Paragon will have more to say on this subject soon.”
Monroe: ”………”
Bastardo: “ Monroe, you’re still drooling. Pull yourself together man.”
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Hotties Tag Match
Stareena and Butterrican vs. Harleykwin and Heidi Schwarz
Following a commercial break, Havoc returned as "Cemetary Gates" began to play and the Dark Ladies hit the ring first. Kwin and Schwarz took the ring as Lothar checked them out. Lords of Acid's "Voodoo U" then cued up as the Divas, Stareena and Butterrican, made their way to ringside! The RDCW fans gave them a warm welcome back!
Monroe: "The fans love our RDCW Hotties, Louie!
Bastardo: "They're not the only ones, Monroe! You've still got your hands in your pockets from the last match!"
Monroe: "I DO NOT! I mean. . .uh, let's get to the match!"
The match was fast and furious as both teams gave their all! The Divas tried to work over Kwin with double team moves, but she used her speed to keep them off balance! Finally tagging in Schwarz, who tried to set up for the Crowd Control (Widow's Peak), but the pin was interrupted by Stareena, who called for a boobie posedown with Schwarz. Schwarz seemed unsure, but Stareena began removing her own top as the fans went wild!
Monroe: Twice in one night! Who'd believe it!
Bastardo: No! Look!
Kwin tossed Schwarz her nightstick, allowing the former cop to crack both Divas in the head with it, knocking them cold! She hit a Crowd Control on Star and took the fall and the match, as the Dark Ladies worked over their opponents after the bell!
A furious Meeko ran down to ringside to complain to Lothar, but was attacked by Chesty LeRou! Chesty tossed Meeko in the ring as well, and the Dark Ladies went to work, trashing their opponents! Schwarz produced several handcuffs and within moments, Meeko and the Divas were cuffed to the ropes as the Dark Ladies ripped apart their clothing!
Monroe: "I can't believe they're doing this!"
Bastardo: "Beat 'em! Beat 'em! Hhahahahahah!!!"
The Dark Ladies left their foes battered in the ring as Havoc went to break.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
World Title Match
Nowhereman (C) vs. Spandex Monkey Man
It was now time for the main event and the CheeseDome fans got to their feet as the voice of Spamm could be heard saying "We're taking over!" followed by the MWO's entrance music, which was occasionally broken up by MWO signature phrases such as "Brother brother brother brother brother" and "Sons of Rob-El, Kneel before Zod!" The fans cheered the trio as they made their down, despite the MWO's best efforts to inspire hatred.
"Kickstart My Heart" then started up as Nowhereman made his first appearance in the CheeseDome since winning the RDCW World Title! The fans applauded as the new Champion made his way down to ringside for what everyone assumed would be an easy match for the former GM!
The match started with Nowhereman firmly in control, as he dominated SPAMM with a vicious series of chops and punches, flinging Da Monkey Guy around with ease. Nowhereman tried to go for an early pin, but SPAMM kicked out on 2.
Monroe: Nowhereman's had it all his way so far!
Louie: Why shouldn't he? SPAMM's just meat for the lions!
SPAMM attempted to hit the Monkey World Piledriver, but Nowhereman reversed it into a back body drop before going up top for an elbow drop. However SPAMM rolled out from under the blow, and came back with a flurry of blows to the recumbent Nowhereman before locking in The Monkeylock. Nowhereman frantically tried to break the lock, but SPAMM managed to maintain the lock. Finally, just as it looked as if he might tap, Nowhereman made a frantic dash to the ropes and broke the hold.
Monroe: The tide just might be turning!
Louie: What? Just finish him, Nowhereman, so we can all go home!
As Nowhereman got to his feet Nova distracted the ref whilst ZOD entered the ring and demanded that Nowhereman "KNEEL!" The General managed to get in a couple of shots, but Nowhereman hit him with a Kik Tracee. The m.W.o promptly fled to ringside, and Nowhereman followed them. NWM went for a Hardline outside, but Chevy Nova slipped on one of Spamm's banana peels and Nowhereman's arm hit the post!
Monroe: Nowhereman's underestimated the cunning tactics of the m.W.o! They're trying to reinjure the arm he hurt at the Randy Rumble!
Bastardo: Tactics? Tactics?! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! That was luck!
The trio rolled Nowhereman back into the ring, and SPAMM went to the top rope as Nova hit his legdrop finisher. SPAMM's attempt at The Ouch Factor backfired as Nowhereman got back to his feet and bodyslammed SPAMM straight off the top rope. Nova attempted to flee the ring, but Nowhereman dragged him back and hit the Black n' Blue, knocking Chevrolet Nova clean out. The Rated X Superstar flung Nova out over the tope rope onto ZOD, but SPAMM had recovered and came back with a series of forearm shots, following up with The Monkey T. He went for a pin, but Nowhereman kicked out just as the ref's hand hit the floor a third time.
Louie: C'mon Nowhereman, get in the game!
Nowhereman and SPAMM exchanged a brutal series of Chops, and SPAMM seemed to keeping pace with the bigger man. Da Monkey Guy went for an irish whip, but Nowhereman ducked under the clotheslines and went for a vicious series of Hardlines before going up top and hitting The Twisted Sister. SPAMM kicked out of the subsequent pin (just), but Nowhereman just hauled him up and hit The Slammin Gladys.
Louie: It's all over! It has to be!
Monroe: I'm not so sure Louie! LOOK!
Sure enough, an attractive dark-haired woman in an MWO tshirt ran down to the ring and disrupted the pin before grabbing Nowhereman and hitting a Sitout Facebuster. The woman then pushed the groggy Spamm over as he fell on top of Nowhereman! In an astonishing turn of events, SPAAM managed to win the match 1-2-3!
Monroe: BUHGAWD!
Louie: I DON'T BELIEVE IT! IT CAN'T BE TRUE!
Monroe: FANS, WE HAVE A NEW BIG CHEESE CHAMPION! SPANDEX MONKEY MAN HAS SOMEHOW WON THIS MATCH! THE m.W.o HOLD THE TOP TITLE! THIS IS A HISTORIC MOMENT IN ROB'S DAMN CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!
The MWO rushed the ring and lifted Spamm up as Lothar presented the stunned Monkey Man with the RDCW World Title!
I make stars, baby!
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