A remix of Rage Against the Machine's "Township Rebellion", Rob's Damn Killer Instinct Rip Off Theme Music, and Ice Cube's "Lethal Injection" is boomed through the CheeseDome's speakers!

Quote:

Bastardo: That's...an interesting blend of music!





The IV take the ring, and JLA can be seen holding a mic. As the music stops, he covers the mic, and whispers to Joe Mama.

Quote:

JLA:<whispering> Would you like to start us off, Joe?

Joe Mama: That's OK. You start us off. I'll let you know when I'm ready with my comments.</whispering>



As JLA gets ready to speak, the crowd becomes quiet.

Quote:

JLA: Here we are, at No Way Out Of The Closet. Myself and Captain Howdy, better known as the Greatest Tag Team EVAR, the Allied Powers!



The crowd responds mainly with boos.

Quote:

JLA: Former Cunt Holder, and Tag Champion: Doc.Mid-Nite !



The crowd roars its approval!

Quote:

JLA: And the former 2 time, 2 time, 2 time Cunt Holder, a 2 time, 2 time, 2 time Tag Champion, a former Big Cheese Champion, and the last man EVAR to hold the Eurotrash Championship, Joseph Mother!



Once again, the crowd goes wild!

Quote:

JLA: And despite all of that, despite all of our accomplishments, despite the fact that we are the greatest collection of talent in RDCW history, the IV of us stand before you...naked.

Bastardo: HOLY SMOKES! They're going to get naked! I'm covering my eyes! Tell me when they're gone, Monroe!

Monroe: That's not what he meant.

JLA: That's right. We are all naked: there isn't one title belt covering one of our waists!




JLA turns to JM, whispering again:

Quote:

JLA: Now's a good time, Joe. Want to take it from here?

Joe Mama: No, no. You're doing fine. I'll give you my comments soon, don't worry!



MisterJLA turns his attention to the crowd again.

Quote:

JLA: This is embarrassing! We deserve better than this! But never fear, fans. We have...a plan! And that plan starts tonight! Tell 'em, Doc!





Doc. Mid-Nite grabs the mic and begins to speak...

Quote:

Faithful Fucktards...! The IV have been jobbed as of late, as the hierarchy of the RDCW has obviously decided to declare war on us. But don't believe the hype. The IV is still here. The IV is still strong. The IV is still the most dominant force of wrestling talent ever assembled in the history of the wrestling industry!"

(The crowd roars and throws up all four's...)

"They're holding us back 'cause they're running scared... They're holding us down because they are frightened...!"

(The Late One pauses...)

"It was only inevitable... The fear in their eyes was there since our inception. We are all former champions, we are all the elite... We are the IV and in the RDCW, we are the Villains United!"

(The crowd begins to repeatedly chant "Four!","Four!")

"At No Way Out of the Closet, The IV begin to right the wrongs of the RDCW... At No Way Out of the Closet, The IV take back what's rightfully ours... At No Way Out of the Closet, The D.O.C. takes on Cap'n Somebitch and the Boogeyman for his Intercuntinental Championship in a three way dance..."

(Chants of D.O.C! D.O.C! bellow throughout the Cheesedome...)

"At No Way Out of the Closet, Protect Yo' Neck!"



JLA takes the mic from Doc.

Quote:

JLA: Nicely played, Doc. But that's just one phase of our plan. I haven't commented on it yet, but it's true: I will be Main Eventing RobbleMania for the World Heavyweight Championship!



The crowd grows silent.

Quote:

JLA: I know you're all sitting there, quietly pondering the great match that I will be a part of at the biggest PPV of them all.

Monroe: No, I think they're just bored by the thought.

Bastardo: What did you just say? Sorry, I was in Deep Thought, thinking about how aweshome that match will be!

JLA: And get this! SPAMM, Nowhereman, and Grimm are going to kill themselves in a Triple Decker Cage Match tonight! I don't even have to compete here! I'll be fresh as a daisy for RobbleMania, and whoever wins that bitch fest will probably be broken down! I WIN AGAIN!



The crowd boos wildly!

JLA hands the mic to Joe Mama, but Joe begs off.

Quote:

JLA: Uh...so there it is! Our plans to bring the IC, and World Championships home!

Howdy: Don't forget T.I.T.S.!

JLA: I'm always thinking of tits, but this is business, my friend!



Howdy rips the mic from JLA's hands...

Quote:

Howdy: The T.I.T.S. Tournament is still going on, and myself and MisterJacksie over there, are still in it! We still haven't gotten our rematch yet that we deserve as former champions! Once we win T.I.T.S., the ratbags that run this bloody company will have to give us our match at RobbleMania!

JLA: W H O A ! Settle down, dear boy! I already have a match for the World Title that night!

Howdy: You know I'll do all the work! You'll just throw some botched moves, and then kick someone in the goolies!

JLA: Sounds like a plan! And since I won you and Jeeves extended visas, you both can stay for the biggest PPV of them all!

Howdy: And you beat Homeland Security by yourself to get them! How did those two grebs get a Title shot tonight?

JLA: Ask thedoctor!

Howdy: No, I don't want to! He smells like old cheese!

JLA: OK! So there it is! Doc Mid-Nite will bring us the IC Belt! I will Main Event, and win the World Title at RobbleMania, since I won this year's Randy Rumble! I still get all randy just thinking about it!

And Howdy and I are still dreaming of conquering T.I.T.S.! The Tag Titles will soon be ours once again, so get our belts ready, Outcasts!

Our plan is starting tonight, and when it concludes at RobbleMania, we will be naked no more!




The IV's remix music hits, and JLA happily throws the mic back at James White.

Quote:

Joe Mama: JLA? I'm ready with my comments now...





Camera fades to black...