<'Let's Get it Started' blares over the speakers and the crowd cheers loudly as Captain Sammitch makes his way to the ring...>
Louie: I wonder what kinda half-ass showboating we're about to witness here...
Monroe: 
At least let the man get to the ring and
say something before you start drawing conclusions!
<Sammitch slides into the ring and climbs a turnbuckle. He holds the IC belt up high and salutes the fans, and is greeted by massive pops from the crowd. Hopping down, the IC champion accepts a microphone from James White and addresses the Cheesedome...>
CS: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Tonight, you've already had the opportunity to hear two factions weigh in on just how
incredible and
unbeatable they happen to be. How bout that?
Louie: What about it? Does he have a problem hearing from wrestlers who're better than him?
Monroe: 
CS: Yeah, about that. Tonight, we've got a bevy of title matches in almost all brackets, including the brand-new
Y Division. In those matches, you may or may not see the aforementioned smack-talkers live up to their words. But I'll tell you what you're
guaranteed to see...
Louie: I wonder what
that could be...
CS: Tonight, in the Y Division Gauntlet Match, you will see the high-flying master of mayhem,
Killconey!
<Pops from the crowd...>
CS:You'll see the raw power of a man who can smack down opponents
almost as easily as he can woo the ladies, the mighty
Chewy Walrus!
<More cheers from the crowd...>
CS: And last, but certainly not least, you'll see half of one of the most successful tag teams to
ever grace this ring, the once and future RDCW Heavyweight Champion, the one and only
Penwing!
<Huge pops from the crowd. Some begin chanting PenWing's name...>
CS: These three men will be vying for a new title, and even though
statistically, the SDC has about a one-in-five chance of picking up this new title, the teamwork, intensity, superior technical abilities, and the commitment to hard work and to the fans that make the SDC so great all come out to better than even odds that there'll soon be another title in the house for the
Sudden Death Connection!
Louie: As usual, he's all talk...
Monroe: Can you think of one good argument to dispute anything he just said?
Louie: Easy! He's... it's a... well... Sammitch used a run-on sentence! So there!
CS: Now, I've heard that I'm about to be stripped of my Inter-Cunt-inental title belt tonight. Supposedly, the pressure should be on for me, right? Well, I'm not so sure about that. You see, I've already defeated both of the opponents I'm about to face. I've outlasted Darth in more faction-versus-faction matches than I care to count, as well as in the Rumble. And I outlasted and
defeated Doc Mid-Nite not only in a number of tag matches, but in one of the most grueling battles of endurance and determination
ever, the unprecedented
Running Man Match.
Monroe: It's true! Sammitch has outperformed both men on several occasions!
Louie: Even the worst low-life jobber gets lucky now and then. That's wrestling!
Monroe: What exactly does that have to do with Sammitch?
CS: You'd think I'd be under a lot of pressure in this match, but to be honest, tonight's a win-win scenario for me. Why? If I win this match, I've defended another title against not one, but
two tough opponents. And if I lose? Well, that'll just start me down the road to the only title I have yet to win - the RDCW World Heavyweight Championship. Now, I don't mean any disrespect to either of my opponents tonight. I know what they're capable of, and since my name isn't
Chris Oakley, I have enough of a grip on
reality not to underestimate opponents in the ring. But as I said, I've been in tougher matches, and I've fought and beaten both of them before. So I can promise all of you one hell of a show tonight!
Louie: Well, at least he was dead-on about Oakley being off his nut!
CS: The Sudden Death Connection is on the warpath. Win or lose, we always have and always will bring one hundred and ten percent to the ring. If the opposition brings any less, they can expect a very short and very painful match. Peace.
<'Let's Get it Started' cranks up again and the crowd goes wild as Captain Sammitch hands the microphone to James White, exits the ring, and disappears backstage...>
Monroe: Captain Sammitch has thrown down the gauntlet! Can the SDC pick up the Gauntlet
Match? And will Sammitch still be holding the title after the three-way IC match? Stay tuned!
