Falls Count Anywhere
World Tag Team Titles
Outcasts (C) vs. Homeland Security
John Philip Sousa's "Stars & Stripes Forever" blared from the Cheesedome PA system as G-man and Wannabuyamonkey rolled down to ring in a World War II-vintage Jeep decked out in red,white,and blue trunks with Reagan T-shirts.
LOUIE BASTARDO: How corny can you get?
MIKE "THE MOUTH" MONROE: You may not agree with their politics, Louie, but you've got to love their entrances!
G-man picked up the mic and was about to address the crowd when Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law" started playing and the Outcasts hit the ring,attacking Homeland Security like rabid pit bulls; El Superbeasto delivered a wicked DDT on WBAM just two minutes into the match.
LOUIE: Yeah, baby, yeah! The Giant Luchadore's kickin' ass as always!
MONROE: No wonder Oakley wanted him as his tag partner--this guy's a freakin' war machine!
As if on cue, Superbeasto hurled G-Man and Wbam against the guard railing! Chris set up a ringside table between the railing and the ring apron as the Giant Luchadore climbed onto the apron!
Monroe: He's not gonna. . .
Bastardo: He is! Homeland Security's laid out on the table!
Superbeasto delivered a massive Giantsault, crashing through the table and sending all three men onto the floor!
Fans: RDCW! RDCW! RDCW! RDCW!
Oakley picked up G-Man and began walking him down the aisle leading to the backstage area. The brawl continued through the locker rooms,the concessions,and even at one point the Cheesedome parking lot. Halfway through the match,the momentum shifted in Homeland Security's favor as G-man caught Oakley off-guard and nailed him with a powerslam near the remote broadcast van;just as the challengers were getting ready to execute their signature Right Winger finisher,however, Superbeasto interrupted with multiple Giant Headbutts, sending the neocons reeling.
MONROE: What the hell is this?
LOUIE: El Superbeasto stickin' up for his partner, like a good teammate should!
Chris hit WBAM with a pair of brass knucks while Superbeasto dropped a Giant Elbow on G-Man on the floor! Following up, Chris and Superbeasto set G-man up for the Odd Man Out.
MONROE: This is carnage!
LOUIE: More like poetic justice!
Chris and Superbeasto executed the Odd Man Out on G-man,and the ref counted 1-2-3 to end the match.
LOUIE: Chalk up another sensastion victory for the RDCW world tag team champions!
MONROE: With a little help from brass knuckles, of course!
LOUIE: Everything's legal in a Falls Count Anywhere match, Monroe!
MONROE: Hey, what are they up to...(camera follows Chris and Superbeasto back to ringside)I don't believe it! They're stealing Homeland Security's personal jeep!
LOUIE: I love it! The boys are takin' home a little combat trophy!
On their way out of the Cheesedome,the Outcasts briefly paused in front of the camera to deliver short personal messages to the Rebel Express and the Sudden Death Connection.
CHRIS: James Not-so-fantastic, next week the Outcasts are going to rip you and your Rebel Express buddies apart like wet paper! And when we're done with them, you SDC punks are going down permanently!
SUPERBEASTO(raising his fist):Viva Los Outcasts!
With that,the reigning RDCW tag team champions sped off into the night in their stolen jeep;when G-man and WBAM finally came to their senses and realized that their ride was missing,they went berserk,vowing to destroy the Outcasts if it was the last thing they ever did.
MONROE: Chris and Superbeasto don't seem to give a damn that they're making a lot of enemies in RDCW...
LOUIE: Why should they? They own the tag team division and they know it!
With that,the camera to Pig Iron's dressing room as he got ready for his match against Dr. Paragon.
