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Wednesday said:
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Joe Mama said:
A few questions for the candidates, as I am still undecided:


I'll be glad to field your questions, Joe Mama. My opponent, however, will undoubtedly continue to hide behind doctored pictures and thinly veiled lies.

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Joe Mama said:
1) Where do you stand on the wasting of our most valuable natural resource: the graemlin? Will you provide with alternate graemlin resources? Are there more graemlins to be had?


Now, you may remember that once during the 2004 primary, I stated that our most natural resource was in fact Brian Fellow . However, please do not mistake this as a lack of pure, wholehearted respect for our beloved graemlin . I daresay I love graemlins . The graemlin is indeed a precious thing that should be protected and nourished . GRAEMLINS ROCK TEH BIG ONE !!!11!

Now my opponent will also tell you he supports the graemlin . Well, to that I say: . I'm sorry, I lost my cool for a moment there . Don't worry, though, I'm A-OK .

The truth is, PJP has once again kept the truth from you and our fellow posters . He's EVIL . It makes me so mad just to think about it !!! No, even maddER than that !!!!!

You see, my good fellow, I introduced not one, not two, not ten, but 156 new graemlins to Rob's board . In fact, they are all on his server at this very moment, and have been for over a year. Graemlins such as:

Graemlin banging head against wall:

Confused graemlin:

Other confused graemlin:

Beatnik graemlin (especially useful in making fun of the French):

Hippy graemlin (especially useful in making fun of...well, you know):

Graemlin reading a book (great for rex's book threads in Media X):

A graemlin shooting a rifle (great for n00bs):

A graemlin holding a sign that says "Pics or STFU":

And, of course, graemlins having sex:

There are 148 more, just waiting to be used .

But don't let PJP fool you, he doesn't want you to have graemlins . He wants to keep graemlins out of the hands of, as he put it, "the common man" . Worst. crime. ever. if you ask me. Poor little graemlins .

No, poorER little graemlins .



Now, if you were to elect me for this position I would start and sticky a thread in the Random Chat forum where I would display all of existing smileys and hold open requests for new smileys . Even G-Man's Johnny Cash graemlin would be given placement in the new and improved system .

A vote for PJP is a vote AGAINST graemlins . He'll fall asleep on the job . Don't be caught with your pants down . Don't get caught up in his ness and lies. He thinks you're stupid enough to believe him . Nay, even stupidER than that .

He thinks you'll just say and vote for pretty lies.

But I respect my fellow posters . I toast to all of you . And I will be here for you no matter what .

I say we show PJP what we "common men" can do .

A vote for Wednesday is a vote for all .

Wednesday for co-mod of all !

, my fellow posters for reading.

I know you'll make the right choice .

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Joe Mama said:
2) We are currently in the month of March. March 17th was St. Patricks Day. While Wednesday celebrated Black History Month in the Womens Forum in February, I see no similar love given to the redheads and Irish women - Ashley Robbins was the only exception, and she wasn't even known by name! How do you plan to correct this horrible oversight?


As you undoubtedly know, I was quick to thank King Snarf for naming Miss Robbins. Indeed, it was a horrible oversight on my part. Sadly, a name was not provided on the site from with I "borrowed" said pictures. However, once I saw them--once I saw that red hair--I had to post her.

Now, you may realize how difficult it can be to find well-shot pictures of our beautiful, redheaded female companions. However, recently, I discovered a website that catalogs galleries of women in many different categories, including hair color. I have already set into motion steps which will not only get more redheaded women onto Rob's server, but Asians, Latinas, and African-American women as well.

This is only the beginning, my fellow posters. Viva variety!

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Joe Mama said:
3) Ginger kids: Yes or No?


First, let me say that I don't believe there has been enough research done on our freckled friends. However, allegations have been made, and one of my first acts will be to secure research aimed at discovering whether or not Ginger kids do indeed lack souls. If this is indeed true, WE WILL FIND A CURE. We sent a man to the moon, by God we can surely cure Gingervitus.

If they do have souls, then that's great. They will be heralded as equal members of society (especially the ladies who provide naked photos).

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Joe Mama said:
4) I read a lot about "more Frontpages" and "something in every pot", but I don't see any of you offering assistance where it's TRULY needed. Where is a job and more socks for Rex? Where is the sympathy fuck for King Snarf? Where are the nude pictures of the female posters for ALL OF US? What are you offering that is SUBSTANTIAL???


PJP offers you fluff. I offer reality.

Now, we've had difficulty in the past with providing more socks for rex. Indeed, one pair per hour is simply too much to keep up with. However, what I propose is to provide rex with a new, high capacity washing machine and coupons from Publix for half off laundry detergent for life.

There are solutions.

I know of KS's problem. We've all been there. Of course, I haven't been there for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time, but I've been there.

But now I'm not. I know many women who will be glad to put out. All I need is an address, Dear Snarf. An address and round-trip air fare.

I have been in talks with sneaky for a while now. If anyone will go nude, I daresay she's up to the challenge. Princess Elisa is a bit more difficult, sure, but she loves me, and this pimp cane is crazy nice.

A push for Lor, a nudge for Butterrican.

Everything's eventual.

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Joe Mama said:
5) Who is your pick to win the AL East?


The Yankees look good (as always) and so do the Blue Jays. However, I live in Florida, so baseball makes me cry.


This is an epic post and deserves RACK Points.

100 Points.

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