Kickstart my heart blasts out as NM makes his way to the ring

NM:"Good evening Cheesedome!"

Crowd pops

NM:"Now as you know I have a very important match coming up against a very unimportant competitor!
No, not my opponent tonight, Crapstain Hokey, I'll get onto that in a minute.
I'm talking about my Robblemania opponent, MisterGayLA!
As we have seen by the video shown earlier, GayLA has been practicing with his surrogate mother, Joan Mammary.
Now I say we saw the video, I saw the start of it & thought it was the thrown room scene from Return of the Jedi and switched over to VH1 Metal mania classic!"

Fans chant Jabba Mama

NM:"Anyway, we all know that despite the total lack of talent GayLA displays, I would be a fool to think of myself as anything other than the underdog at Robblemania.
No no, not because I think GayLA is the better man, I have four reasons that its gonna be tough for me.
Thats right, GayLA has three team mates & his nanny, who I am sure will interject themselves in the match (I actually heard that Joan Mammary interjects himself into the IV regulary!)"

Crowd roars with laughter

NM:"That brings me onto tonights opponent, Captain Hasbeen.
While The good Captain was once a great pal of mine, relying on me to make a name for himself, it has become apparent in recent times that the old boy has trouble standing on his own.
It took a joke like GayLA to turn him into a winner again, and of course teaming with the IV to make sure he has his regular bed baths & that his meals are pre-chewed.
Tonight, I am sure you will bring your little friends Cap, but be very aware that I will be bringing a few of my friends too.
My left hook, and my right!
And I'll even make the match real quick tonight as I know Joan is hungry, and McDonalds closes early tonight!"

NM slams the mic to the floor & walks from the arena!

Snarf is shit. His death will be rejoiced!