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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
let's try this again.
Killconey (53%, 8 Votes)
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Jeremy (47%, 7 Votes)
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Karla (47%, 7 Votes)
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Butterrican (53%, 8 Votes)
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I-Man (40%, 6 Votes)
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Bibbo (60%, 9 Votes)
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Rob Kamphausen (60%, 9 Votes)
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King Snarf (40%, 6 Votes)
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DCWEBMASTR DCWEBMASTR2 Irwin Shwab Dumas (36%, 5 Votes)
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MisterJLA (64%, 9 Votes)
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I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,900
notnotnotnotnotnotnotwedge 2500+ posts
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notnotnotnotnotnotnotwedge 2500+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,900 |
*"Last Dinosaur" plays as the Otaku make their way to the ring. Ramada runs around excitedly as Hiro walks slowly and smiles enigmatically. Big Fat Osaka Elvis is eating a funnel cake. Evil Wrestler Johnny does his best to look surley. Ramada has the mic as they enter the ring and she raises her arm in salute.*
Ramada: HAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIILLL EWJ!!
*She hands the mic to EWJ.*
EWJ: You'd probably think we'd be satisfied with two title matches at Prom Night. Well, we're not. The Otaku deserve more! We are using our limited knowledge of Japanes culture to dominate all levels and all divisions of RDCW and that includes the Y division. Now, I believe that Hiro has something he'd like to say...
*Hiro reaches for the mic, but FWJ doesn't hand it over.*
EWJ: Unfortunately, he's far too mysterious to do so, so i'll have to speak for him. You see, it's kind of obvious how things are going to play out in the Y division at Prom Night. Killconey is going to get a shot at Jeremy's title. Now, I'm not going to say he doesn't deserve it, but the fact of the matter is that the Otaku's own Hiro won a much tougher match last week against a much tougher opponent who just happens to not be the current champion. I'm sure you all can tell that a Y division title run is inevitable for Hiro, but we're inpatient. We want it to start right away and we want it to start at Prom Night! Now, we don't have any matches tonight, but we'll be around for our answer. Oh, and we'll have our cell phones if you can't find us. Wait, you may not know our numbers. Hmm, well check the snack stands if we aren't in our locker room. Look, we'll just make sure someone is always in the locker room. Uhm, that's all.
Ramada: HAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIILLL EWJ!!
*"Last Dinosaur" starts to play again and we cut to commercial. In the commercial, Llance is laying on a bearskin rug in front of a fire.*
Llance: You know, when I get that itch, there's nothing like rubbing Rob's cream all over my genitals.
*He pulls out a tube of Rob Kamphausen Brand Genital Itch cream.*
Llance: It now comes in three varieties; Extra Strength, Banana Flavored and Spicey Original. Be sure to try all of them. But not at the same time. For the love of Krishna, not all at once.
Announcer: Eating Rob's cream is not reccomended.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,353
Award-Winning Author 10000+ posts
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Award-Winning Author 10000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,353 |
"When It All Goes Wrong Again" hits as King Snarf makes his way to ring!
Hello, peoples, it's great to be back! Tonight, I could talk about my big PPV return in the King of the Mooktain match! I could talk about my match tonight with Kamphausen, and how I ultimately hold him responsible for my disgraceful release from RDCW. But instead, I'm forging new ground in avant-garde wrestling promos, for tonight, I will be playing the spoons!
With that, King Snarf pulls out 2 spoons in his right hand and starts hamboning a jaunty little rhythm. After about five minutes, he stops, waves to audience, and leaves.
Louie Bastardo: What the hell was that?
The Mouth: Uh... I think that's the end of the segment. Why don't we go to commercial?
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813
I Am Groot 5000+ posts
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I Am Groot 5000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 5,813 |
Camera fades to the backstage area, where we see Joey Biles standing by with Chris Oakley and Nuriko while Superbeasto is sitting to one side watching old tapes of Captain Howdy.
JOEY: I have to say, Chris, I'm surprised to see you looking so calm after Amuck turned on you and Superbeasto during last week's Havoc...
CHRIS: Well, Joey, karma is going to catch up with Amuck sooner or later. Besides, we've still got two things he doesn't: the RDCW world tag team titles(holds up the tag team belts) and the greatest manager in RDCW today(points to Nuriko). Now let's talk about something truly important, like the Outcasts' sensational victory last week against the Liberal Conspiracy.
JOEY: Yeah, that certainly was impressive, I'll admit-- it took you less than two minutes to beat Jim Jackson and Whomod. However, at Prom Night you'll have a considerably tougher road to hoe when you and the Giant Luchadore battle Captain Howdy for the RDCW hardcore title in a handicap match.
CHRIS: What, you think we're worried about the IV Stooges?(laughs) Superbeasto could take them all out just by spitting at them!
NURIKO: Hai! We are the greatest tag team in RDCW history!
SUPERBEASTO(finally getting up from his tape): And do not forget it, Senor Biles!
JOEY: One more thing...Chris, you recently offered to take Big Pimp Tim up on his top rope challenge. Does that offer still stand?
CHRIS: Damn right it does-- nothing would make me and the Giant Luchadore happier than to give Big Joke Tim a dose of his own medicine.
SUPERBEASTO(raising his fist): Viva Los Outcasts!
JOEY: The RDCW world tag team champions sounding as confident as ever...back to Louie and Monroe at ringside!
Last edited by Chris Oakley; 2006-05-26 2:08 PM.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Ten Minute Challenge
Jeremy vs. Killconey
Killconey survived the ten minute challenge by escaping another Spoiler attempt from Jeremy, with only seconds left in the match! KC took the mic and said that now the RDCW and Jeremy had to give him the title match at Prom Night! This brought out Hiro of the Otaku, who attacked both men with Deathscythes! Hiro attempted to grab the Y Division title, but was jumped by Amuck, who hit the ring out of nowhere! All four men began brawling in mid-ring and were soon joined by Big Pimp Tim, who joined in the fray until security separated all five men!
thedoctor then appeared on the Cheese-O-Tron and said that since there were at least four worthy contenders for the title, that at Prom Night there would be a four man gauntlet match with the winner going on to challenge Jeremy later on at Prom Night!
Hotties Match
Butterrican vs. Karla
Butter won the match with a Butterbomb into a pinning bridge!
Monroe: That's so hot. I was the Madman was here to see this.
Bastardo: Me too. He would've loved this match.
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
Brother vs. Brother
Bibbo vs. I-Man
This match was signed due to a backstage incident when I-Man opened one of Bibbo's new G1 Transformers by mistake. Bibbo flipped out and a brawl ensued as the brothers needed to be separated!
So the match was made! Bibbo came out roaring as the former Hardcore Porn Champ tore into his brother with reckless abandon! "That's for damaging my mint in box Starscream!"
I-Man rebounded using his heavy impact power moves! "Toys are meant to be played with!" Ultimately, however, Bibbo won the match with his feared Ace O Clubs maneuver, and I-Man agreed to replace the damaged toy. But following the bout, the brothers were attacked by two huge masked men wearing costumes emblazoned with the DC logo! A third man, smaller and wearing a bad suit, cheered them on from the ringside area!
Monroe: Who are these guys? And why do they have the DC logo on their outfits?
Bastardo: They must be the DCWEBMASTRS! Two of JLA's opponents later tonight!
The DCWEBMASTRS laid out Bibbo and I-Man in mid ring as their manager, Irwin Shwab, joined them in the ring and promised that JLA would get more of the same later tonight!
Snarf's Challenge
King Snarf vs. Rob Kamphausen
King Snarf made his return to the ring in this "warmup" bout for the King of the Mook-tain match at Prom Night! Snarf demanded that his opponent, Rob himself, come down to the ring to get what was coming to him! Snarf waited for several moments until "Real American" began to play and the curtains parted to reveal. . .a midget dressed up as Rob!
Snarf fell on his back laughing as the fans booed heavily! Lothar ordered the bell rung, and the match began as Snarf immediately trapped Mini Rob in a headlock and began playing the spoons on his head! Taunting the much smaller wrestler. Lothar ordered Snarf to stop, but Snarf ignored him. After several repeated warnings, Lothar tried to physically remove Snarf, but Snarf trapped Lothar in a headlock and clamped down on him! Lothar ordered the bell to be rung again, signaling a disqualification as several other officials attempted to get Snarf to release the hold!
Snarf was taken to the back by security, as ringside physician, Dr. Eelco F. Wijdicks and medical personnel attended to the fallen Lothar.
Monroe: Lothar's been injured by the headlock! Who will referee our main event now?
Bastardo: That's what he gets for getting in Snarf's way! That headlock is one of the most dangerous moves in the history of wrestling!
I make stars, baby!
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,506 Likes: 64
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,506 Likes: 64 |
Quote:
Bastardo: ...and it's time for the Main Event! MisterJLA vs. not one, not two, not even three, but four competitors!
Monroe: Who are these guys anyway?
Bastardo: Four of the greatest wrestlers to ever compete in the defunct DCMB league!
Monroe: And you know this how?
Bastardo: JLA told me all about it! We already saw the mighty duo of the DCWEBMASTRS, I and II! Plus their manager, IRWINSHWAB!
Monroe: THERE'S NO NEED TO YELL!
Bastardo: Sorry, but the three of them spell their names in all CAPITAL LETTERS!
Monroe: Ah.
Bastardo: Then there's Dumas! Another old school DCMB vet! JLA will fight them all tonight!
Monroe: Nice set-up! JLA is backstage with Fat Retard right now!
Camera cuts to Fat Retard and MisterJLA.
Quote:
Fat Retard: BY GOD! You're fighting four men tonight! Government mule!
JLA: That's right, 'tard. First up is DCWEBMASTR I. I have five minutes to defeat him. If he can last for five minutes, and he won't, he gets a guaranteed title shot at the next HAVOK! And so will the others! He doesn't even have to defeat me! Just last five minutes.
But, if...when I defeat him, it will be DCWEBMASTR II's shot! Same as before, if he can last for five minutes, he gets a title shot! This continues until SHWAB and Dumas are vanquished!
Fat Retard: Mastodon! Why are you doing this, drop toe hold?
JLA: It's a warm-up for Prom Night, which will be the greatest Prom Night PPV EVAR! I have to go it alone against four others who will continue their obsession with me and my belt, so tonight I'm using HAVOK to get me ready for my PPV title defense!
Fat Retard: IT'S STONE COLD! IT'S STONE COLD! IT'S STONE COLD! Who are these guys you're stomping a mudhole in on HAVOK, and what are your thoughts about your opponents at Prom Night?
JLA: I guess you weren't listening to Louie.  DCWEBMASTR I and II were one of the most feared tag teams that the DCMB's ever saw, and IRWINSHWAB guided them to greatness as their manager. Dumas was just a persistent wrestler.
These guys were some of the best that the DCMB League had to offer, and tonight's their chance to show the RDCW what they were all about!
I already gave my comments about Chewy and SPAMM last week. Chewy doesn't deserve a shot at Prom Night in the King of the Mook-tain match, just because he...pinned me in a meaningless tag match by using what should be an illegal move...
Fat Retard: THE WALRUS TUSK SLAM! THE WALRUS TUSK SLAM! THE WALRUS TUSK SLAM!
JLA: That's the one. I started a petition to ban that FUCKING move, and it will be ready in time for the PPV! Chewy will be fighting an uphill battle at Prom Night!
SPAMM was a transitional champion who history will forget! His one-week title reign shouldn't have gotten him into next week's Main Event, but theproctor hates my guts, and thinks that SPAMM can take me down! He's wrong!
But the final insult was last week! theproctor brought back King Snarf! The same Snarf who turned his back on the RDCW, and who left the league forever (not really)! A man who thumbed his nose at everyone here! A man who broke kay-
Fat Retard: <coughs loudly>
JLA: Uh...right. But the return of King Snarf is too much! AND, I still don't know who the fourth challenger is going to be!
Fat Retard: Nice subject-verb agreement in that sentence!
JLA: Thanks! Huh?
JLA's music hits...
Quote:
Fat Retard: DCWEBMASTR I is already in the ring!
JLA: I'm off to kick his punk ass!
RDCW World Champion MisterJLA vs. DCWEBMASTR I, first round of the first EVAR World Title Exhibition Gauntlet Match
Recap: JLA took his first opponent apart in impressive fashion! He ended the match with a slingshot suplex at 3:32 into the first round!
RDCW World Champion MisterJLA vs. DCWEBMASTR II, second round of the first EVAR World Title Exhibition Gauntlet Match
JLA kept his momentum going! JLA caught WEBMASTR II as he tried to enter the ring, and stomped him like a government mule! WEBMASTR II never had a chance to recover, and was pinned at 2:32 into the match, with a gourd buster!
Third round:
A pissed off IRWINSHWAB hit the ring after waiting in the locker room area for the first two rounds to end, but he fared no better than his tag team! At (you guessed it) 1:32 into round three, JLA knocked SHWAB out with an Iron Claw!
Fourth Round
JLA used a drop toe hold against Dumas, and immediately locked him in a figure four leglock!
at 32 seconds into round 4, Dumas tapped like a little bitch!
Quote:
Bastardo: W H O A ! JLA crushed them!
Monroe: Says a lot about the old DCMB League.
Bastardo: No! It says a lot about JLA! In this match, the longer it went, the better he got! He's going to be the King of the Mook-tain, bank on it!
Fin.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342
300+ posts
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300+ posts
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 342 |
*MisterJLA held up his title and celebrated in the ring as the fans booed loudly. JLA climbed a turnbuckle and held up the title as music began to play. However, it was not "Rob's Killer Instinct Ripoff Music" but "War Pigs" as GM thedoctor made his way out onto the entranceway, accompanied by Spandex Monkey Man, King Snarf, and Chewy Walrus!
Doc: Welly welly well. I see you were victorious against your old pals from the *snicker!* DCMB league. . .
JLA: Just tell me who my fourth opponent is, you demanding prick!
Doc: Very well then. I have his info right here. Your fourth opponent is. . .yet another former RDCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .his career spans former leagues like Athanan, Mobius Infinity, the JQWF, and the DCMBs! He is none other than your mentor, trainer, and former manager. . .Drzsmith!!!!!!!!
*Drzsmith walks out and shakes hands with thedoctor as JLA gapes in astonishment in the ring. Havoc fades out as the former allies eye each other up from the distance.
I make stars, baby!
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