RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts If YOU were the Devil, how would YOU punish posters here?

Who would you punish....and how would you accomplish this?

Rex would have no reading material other than printed copies of ALL my posts!

Pariah would be locked in a room....with an exact duplicate of himself!

PJ would ..well, I gotta save SOMETHING for you all, don't I?

Isn't this board punishment enough?

I would force the unworthy to wash a load of rex's whites. That, I'm sure, would be penance enough for most transgressions.

All you fuckers are tongue-bathing LLance or Sneaky's friend Jabba. Enjoy your eternal punishment!!!*


























































_{*Except for CJ, Sneaky Bunny, and Harley...Satan needs his brides, y'know!!!}

What do you mean by "if"?

As evil as the devil is supposed to be, you know the devil is a woman.

That li'l guy hovering over her? That's me...

I knew harley looks hot nude!

I remember someone posting that cartoon in here..or somewhere.....It was rather strange but quite amusing!

You look like an angel
talk like an angel
walk like an angel
but I got wise
you're the devil in disguise!

teehee

Ho Ho Ho!

Posting on teh RKMBS is your crime as well as your punishment.

am reminded of a colleague who reiterated "all my homosexual patients are quite sick" - to which I finally replied "so are all my heterosexual patients." ~Ernest van den Haag, psychotherapist


For a long time I thought I wanted to be a nun. Then I realized that what I really wanted to be was a lesbian. ~Mabel Maney

Bump

How would I punish them? Easy. Take away their hand lotion for eternity.

hats the name of helen kellers new movie? silent scream.


how did helen keller burn her face? she was bobbing for french fries.


How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? Stuck doorknobs to the walls.

Why were Helen Kellers hands purple? She heard it thru the grapevine.

First name: dave
joke: Have you heard about Helen Kellers new car? neither has she

First name: dave
joke: Why did helen keller go crazy? she was trying to read a stucko wall.

A Cats Prayer


Although I am too proud to beg, and may appear to be a very independent creature, I ask for your loving care and attention.

Translation: I'm the boss, serve me.


I rely on you for my well being much more than you may realise.

Translation: Go out and earn money to keep me in the style to which I intend to become accustomed.


This I promise you, my benefactor, that I will not be a burden on you nor will I demand more of you than you care to give.

Translation: The more attention I get, the more I want. You may have to hire another slave for me (by the way, I lie!).


I will be a quiet peaceful island of serenity for you to gaze upon; a soft soothing body to caress, and I shall purr with pleasure to rest your weary ears.

Translation: I will tear round the house smashing ornaments at 3 a.m., infest the house with fleas, and bite your mother when she comes to visit (did I mention that I lie?).


Since I am a gourmet who appreciates different taste sensations, I pray you will give me a variety of nutritious foods and fresh water daily.

Translation: I need Evian water, changed at least six times per day, chilled but not too cold. Any food offerings that you make, no matter how expensive, will be turned down if I think there is a chance that I can scrounge the three day old bread that next door put out for the birds.


You know dear friend, how I love to sleep. Allow me, I pray, a warm sheltered place where I can rest peacefully and feel secure.

Translation: Don't you dare wake me, I know where you sleep, and will get revenge - claw type bloody revenge!


If I am wounded in battle or suffering from disease, please tend me gently, and see that I am treated by loving and competent hands.

Translation: I reserve the right to mangle the most expensive hands you hire to treat me.


Please protect me from the inhuman humans who would hurt and torture me for their own amusement. I am accustomed to your gentle touch and am not always suspicious nor swift enough to avoid such malicious acts.

Translation: If you ever find out that it was me who bit your mother's thumb and gave her tetanus, I'll have to claim that she woke me up when I was having a bad dream.


In my later years when my senses fail me and my infirmities become to great to bear, allow me the comfort and dignity that I desire for my closing days and help me gently in my pain or passing.

Translation: When I've had enough of being pampered, please send me to my next reincarnation, where I look forward to being satisfactorily served once more.


Hear this prayer, my dear friend, my fate depends on you.

Translation: I might just accept you as slave, if you behave yourself.

Cats' hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to easily go in one ear and out the other. - Stephen Baker


"Cats are notoriously sore losers. Coming in second best, especially to someone as poorly coordinated as a human being, grates their sensibility." - Stephen Baker


Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives. - Stephen Baker


"If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him." - Drew Barrymore

The Doctor: Don't worry. I always leave things until the last moment.

---

The Doctor: Well, well. The Rani. I can't say I think much about your outfit. Doesn't do a thing for you.
The Rani: Your regeneration isn't too appealing either.

--

A guy is walking past a bus stop and says to a woman "Can I smell your cunt?" "Fuck off, no you can't smell my cunt!" the woman yells back at him, "Oh" he replies, looking slightly confused, "it must be your feet then".


--

News Flash : Today the world was stunned by the news of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred approximately 8:42 PM last evening. Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going, and going and going, "Pinkie" as he was known to his friends and family was alone at the time of his death. An emergency autopsy was performed early this morning. Chief Medical Examiner, Dura Cell, concluded that the cause of death was acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over-stimulation. Apparently, someone had put the bunny's batteries in backwards and he kept coming, and coming, and coming...


--

We live under continual threat of two equally fearful, but seemingly opposed destinies: unremitting banality and inconceivable terror. It is fantasy, served out in large rations by the popular arts, which allows most people to cope with these twin specters.
- Susan Sontag

By writing much, one learns to write well.
- Robert Southey

The first chapter sells the book; the last chapter sells the next book.
- Mickey Spillane

Words are a lens to focus one's mind.
- Ayn Rand

[Editors] drive us nuts. We go from near-worshipful groveling when we submit to bitter cursing when they reject us.
- Ken Rand

Writers are schizophrenic. On the one hand we tell ourselves, "This is a work of genius! I've created Art!" Then we try to peddle it, like a widget, to The New Yorker, Playboy, or SF Age.
- Ken Rand

John Byrne went on to work on the Charlton books Wheelie and the
Chopper Bunch, Space: 1999, and Emergency!, and co-created with
writer Joe Gill the post-apocalyptic science-fiction series
Doomsday + 1. Byrne additionally drew a cover for the
supernatural anthology The Many Ghosts of Doctor Graves #54
(Dec.
1975).