Why the fuck doesn't Jack tell everyone to just piss off? Seriously, the man is always right - why do these fuckheads always doubt him?!! It could be a sunny, summer day in the middle of a heat wave and if Jack said, "it's gonna snow in 5 minutes" I'd break out my motherfucking sweaters and make some hot chocolate, because he is never wrong about shit! Gah!

And then its like, "hi, I've been tortured for 20 months and the only reason that you assholes got me out of a Chinese prison camp is so you can fucking sell my ass to a terrorist sos he can kill me?" WTF? If I were Jack I'd be like - "Fuck you Mr. President! Fuck you ugly Chloe - who did you blow to get this job because you are seriously hein and Hollywood has much prettier tail out there than you - fuck everybody! Y'all can kiss my hero ass! My ass has done enough for you ungrateful fucks - I'm going to Jamaica, getting me some alcohol, pot and poonany and calling it a day!"

















Great eps, BTW.


Dear, sweet Harley Kwink...I'm madly in love with you. Marry me! We can go to Canadia. Or Boston or something. It'll be grand...You know the cookies are a given. They are ALWAYS a given. You could dump me tomorrow and you'd still get the cookies. Boston..shit, wherever dyke weddings were legalized. And where better to rub their little piggie noses in how bad they suck than right on their doorstep? What are they gonna do? Be jealous of you? Stare furiously at your tah-tahs? Not willingly give you cookies, but instead begrudgingly give you their cookies? Woman, time to wake up to the powers you wield - Uschi