RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts Remember the days when Rob wasnt gay..

...nah, me neither!

Rob is gay.

please stop with all the bullshit threads?

This forum needs attention too!

I wanna give Nowhereman's avatar a bunch of head-slaps.

It looks like a young Sloth.

like a human/balooga whale hybrid.

Holy shit! PJP's getting rid of his mos def powers!

I've been tryiong to get rid of them for a year and a half now.....Rob won't let me go. Apparently I was very good!



If you know what I mean!

Hey, he doesn't look very greek to me!






SHENANIGANS!

Noone loves you.

High noone!

HA! The joke's on you...Rex was never ordained.

ugh!

Dirty Jobs Anthem

Now everyone who's got a job, has got their dues to pay,
working for that paycheck and just gettin' through the day,
but if you're bored or otherwise inclined to be a slob,
grab some boots, and lose that suit and get a dirty job.

Now dirty jobs are everywhere, just take a look around.
They're down the street, they're up the stairs,
they're even underground.

You don't have to borrow, beg and you don't have to rob,
All you've got to do is get yourself a dirty job.
All you need to do is get yourself a dir... ty... job!

Dirty White Boy
Foreigner

Hey, baby, if you're feelin' down
I know what's good for you all day
Are you worried what your friends see
Will it ruin your reputation lovin' me

'Cause I'm a dirty white boy
Yeah a dirty white boy
A dirty white boy

Don't drive no big black car
Don't like no Hollywood movie star
You want me to be true to you
You don't give a damn what I do to you

I'm just a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

Well, I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
A dirty white boy

I've been in trouble since I don't know when
I'm in trouble now and I now somehow I'll find trouble again
I'm a loner, but I'm never alone
Every night I get one step closer to the danger zone

'Cause I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

C'mon, c'mon boy
Dirty white boy, white boy
Dirty white boy, I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

Hey, I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, yeah, I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy, dirty white boy, yeah

England is one of my favorite places. The fans are just so crazy.
Britney Spears

Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking about things that I stress about.
Britney Spears

It's traditional for an heiress to be raised in a sheltered way. No one thinks that's true of me, but it actually was.
Paris Hilton


When my dad divorced my mom it was kind of like him leaving me also. I just really didn't understand why he wasn't returning my phone calls, or why I couldn't see him whenever I wanted to. That was the most hurtful thing to me.
Nicole Richie

List of bald people


Actors/Actresses
Jason Alexander
John Amos
Ed Asner
Daniel Benzali
Michael Berryman
Yul Brynner
Dave Chappelle
Dominic Chianese
Michael Chiklis

list of bald people


Clint Barmes - US Baseball player currently for the Colorado Rockies
Fabien Barthez - French footballer
Scott Bigelow - 1990s pro wrestler whose bald head is decorated with a distinctive "flames" tattoo
Chauncey Billups - U.S. basketball player
Barry Bonds - Prolific and controversial baseball slugger
Jay Buhner - former Seattle Mariners star whose shaved head inspired the annual "Buhner Buzz Night" promotions, where Mariners fans shaved their heads f or free admittance to the ball game
Vince Carter - U.S. basketball player
Sam Cassell - U.S. basketball player
Derrick Coleman - U.S. basketball player
Pierluigi Collina - Italian football referee
Christopher Daniels - Professional wrestler
Pavol Demitra - National Hockey League player - currently for the Los Angeles Kings
Aleksandar Djordjevic - Serbian basketball player

11. My neighbor has a treadmill - and a riding lawn mower.
12. Isn't it redundant to say an offer is void where prohibited?
13. If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished.
14. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
15. -Don't break someone's heart; medical bills are expensive.
16. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
17. -What good is knowing all the answers if no one will ask the questions.
18. I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
19. Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
20. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone
21. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
22. I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese.
23. The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
24. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
25. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
26. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
27. I misplaced my dictionary. Now I'm at a loss for words.
28. Money talks....it says good-bye.
29. School days are the best days of your life...provided your children are old enough to go.
30. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
31. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
32. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
33. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
34. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
35. Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson You find the present tense and the past perfect.
37. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
38. Gravity...it's not just a good idea. It's the law.
39. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
40. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
41. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic!!
42. You can't have everything, where would you put it?
43. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
44. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
45. My Mother Is a travel agent for guilt trips.
46. That man could have had any women he pleased--he just couldn't please any!
47. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
48. A pessimist is a man who gets a clean bill of health from his doctor, then goes to get a second opinion!
49. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me
50. What we see depends on mainly what we look for

32. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
33. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
34. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
35. Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson You find the present tense and the past perfect.
37. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
38. Gravity...it's not just a good idea. It's the law.
39. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
40. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
41. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic!!
42. You can't have everything, where would you put it?
43. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
44. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
45. My Mother Is a travel agent for guilt trips.
46. That man could have had any women he pleased--he just couldn't please any!
47. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
48. A pessimist is a man who gets a clean bill of health from his doctor, then goes to get a second opinion!
49. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me
50. What we see depends on mainly what we look for

Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.

Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.

Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.

Q: What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q: What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams
every night??
A: Hanson.

Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have
you done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.

Q: What's somewhat brown and often found in children's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.

Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you
lose your house.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody
at the party except you.

Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling

Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home."

Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
A: You just KNOW she'll swallow.

Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same
day in Iraq?
A: They don't want to wear out the camel.

Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelery.

Q: Do you know why women fake orgasm?
A: Because men fake foreplay.

Q: What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting
circumcised?
A: When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!

Q: A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
A: Dating children.

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A: She knows she's given her last blow job.

Q: What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
A: Cough, gag, choke, etc.

Q: What did One gay sperm say to another?
A: How do we find an egg in all of this shit?

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.

Q. How do you find a blonde in long grass?
A. Pleasing

Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?
A. Bingo!

Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is
bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...

Q: When is a pixie not a pixie?
A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.

Q: How does every ethnic joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: What's a Japanese girl's favourite holiday?
A: Erection day.

Q: How can you tell if a valentine card is from a leper?
A: The tongue's still in the envelope.

Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blow job?
A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but
you just can't beat a blow job.

Q: What is the definition of Confidence?
A: When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her
on the ass and say, "You're next Baby... !"

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board A: It's
difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

Q: What's pink and hard?
A: A pig with a flick knife.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: They are easier to keep amused.

Q: Why do seagulls have wings?
A: To beat the gypsies to the tip.

Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
A: So fat women can get laid too.

Q. How do you get three little old ladies to say the "F" word?
A. Have a fourth one yell "Bingo!"

Q: What do you get if you cross a pit bull with a hooker?
A: Your last blow job.

Q: Why did god create women?
A: Because dogs can't get beer out the fridge.

Q: What's 100 yards long and smells of piss?
A: The Post Office queue on Thursday mornings.

Q: What's the difference between a woman from Wigan and a walrus?
A: One's got a moustache and smells of fish and the other lives in the
sea.

Q: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, but it takes 15 to write a paper entitled "coping with
darkness"

Q: Why don't blind people skydive?
A: It scares the shit out of the dog.

Q: What have women and condoms got in common?
A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.

Q: What's the difference between PMT and BSE?
A: One's mad cow's disease and the other's an agricultural problem.

Q: Why was the washing machine laughing?
A: Because it was taking the piss out of the undies.

Q: What will Postman Pat be called when he retires?
A: Pat

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What's got four legs, and goes "Woof"?
A: Piper Alpha.

Q: How do you make a dog drink?
A: Put it in a liquidizer.

Q: What's got 500 legs and no pubic hair?
A: The front row at a Boyzone concert.

Q: What's got four legs and an arm?
A: A Rottweiler.

Q: What's got two legs and bleeds?
A: Half a dog..

Q: What do you do if your boiler explodes?
A: Buy her some flowers.

Q: What is the definition of confusion?
A: Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

Q. What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
A: Patient..!!

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