<Shot of the Cheesedome backstage. A number of RDCW superstars are milling about, variously occupied, but none are making their way toward the ramp. Chewy Walrus and Killconey are at a card table - playing Magic: The Gathering of course...>

Killconey: Dude, nobody's goin' out there.

Chewy Walrus:

KC: This is fucked up, dude. Seriously.

CW: ...

KC: Well check it out. <The camera follows Killconey's pointing finger...> Joe Mama's lighting candles on his Ted Williams shrine again. Big Pimp Tim and Krazed are ogling the chicks in that issue of Low Rider magazine. Charlie's been ogling himself in the mirror for the past fifteen minutes. And Snarf's singing 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' into a hairbrush.

CW:

KC: Yeah, I dunno why he's got one of those either. But dude, there's like fifty thousand people out there...

CW:

KC: There's like twenty thousand people out there...

CW:

KC: Fine. There's like seventy-three hundred people Rob gave free Wii T-shirts to out there waiting to hear from some RDCW superstars. Dude, we are those superstars.

CW:

<The two get up from the table and head down the ramp, and are met with thunderous applause. Entering the ring, Killconey accepts a microphone from James White and addresses the crowd...>

KC: What up bitches?

<Massive pops from the crowd...>

KC: My colleague the esteemed Chewy Walrus and myself would like to welcome you all to the muthafuckin' Cheesedome!!! Tonight, we are gonna square off against... the Monkey World Order! Now I know what you're all thinking - easy victory for such unparalleled competitors as us - but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Crucial to unraveling this tangled web of a match is the answer to one vital question... Who the hell names their team the Monkey World Order?

CW:

<Laughs from the crowd...>

KC: Well, tonight, that very person is faced with the monumental challenge posed by one King Snarf.

CW:

KC: Yeah, major pressure there, Spandex Dude. Or whatever your name was. Anyway, after we've broken in the ring by knocking the MWO around, and after the Queen stretches out some Spandex...




CW:

KC: Dude, that didn't sound right, did it?

CW:

<More laughs from the crowd...>

KC: Yeah, after all that, you're gonna get to see what you all came to stick around for after seeing us... the Stairway to Hell!

<Pops from the crowd...>

KC: Six competitors will be beating the living shit out of each other. Three of them will have weapons. The other three will be S-O-fuckin'-L. We know you may have come here to cheer for different people here and there. We know we're probably not gonna change your minds about that. But we also know that you'd better not count out the Cap'n!

<Huge pops from the crowd...>

KC: One way or the other, tonight's show is gonna be apeshit crazy! So stay in your seats and enjoy the ride, muthafuckas! Poice!

<The two head back up the ramp amid thunderous applause and exit the arena. Fade to black...>