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Wondrous.Platinum.Owl said:
A couple of days ago, Hoogaboom and his ex-wife walked in on me downloading a preview of Geoff Johns’ ‘Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps Special’. In embarrassment stakes this is on par with being caught masturbating to Nancy Reagan’s guest appearance in ‘Different Strokes’.
Quickly thinking on my feet, I broke down in floods of tears. In between choked sobs I confessed that an armed gang were holding my family hostage. They would only set them free when I could display sufficient knowledge of the Geoff Johns canon. The excuse appeared to be acceptable to the couple. They disappeared into the guest bedroom and spent several hours having noisy sex with each other.
Sinestro Corps opens with a naked purple man bent over on his knees. Grimacing in pain, he uses his fingers to make a shape like a giant stretched asshole, around a gold solitaire ring which is lying on the floor.
Clearly naked purple man has been savagely raped and is in the process of reliving his trauma. The ring represents the original size of his asshole before it was busted wide open - the single stone at its centre - the preciousness of his lost virginity. The jagged arcs of yellow lightening that shoot out from the ring, are representative of the aftershocks of pain brought about by the brutal sexual assault.
At this point naked purple man experiences a flashback to a happier time when he still had clothes and was yet to feel the intimate touch of man. He and The Green Lantern are battling each other in the middle of an asteroid field. The Green Lantern looks like someone who spends all day at the gym and then goes out in the evening and picks fights with overweight drunks. The Green Lantern is a dick.
The fight ends with defeat for naked purple man. Although not shown on panel, it is implied that as punishment, Green Lantern strips him naked and then fucks him.
Back in the present day, naked purple man has found a lantern. The acquisition of the lantern has enabled him to locate his clothes. In the lamp glow his thin, curled-up mustache and $2 haircut make him look like Hitler, if Hitler was Mexican. Could The Green Lantern’s greatest nemesis be a purple Mexican rape victim? Geoff Johns clearly thinks: Yes, it could.
In writing the ‘Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps Special’ Johns presents us with a poignant allegory for the continuing mistreatment and exploitation of Mexico by the US. If Americans continue to rape the dignity of their cousins down south, then it is likely that Mexicans will rise up en masse against their oppressors, storming the borders of the United States and plundering its precious lanterns.
I give this preview 9 out of a possible 10.
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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