<The guitar hook from 'Peace Of Mind' plays and the crowd leaps to its feet as Captain Sammitch makes his way to the ring...>Marcum: Now why is
he wasting our time out here? He's not even scheduled to
wrestle tonight!
Monroe: I would answer you with the all-powerful eye-rolling graemlin, but it appears Rob neglected to pay the graemlin bill this month!
Captain Sammitch: Good evening, everyone!
<Pops from the crowd...> I know I'm not due to wrestle tonight, so I'll keep it brief. You may wonder why Killconey hasn't made an appearance - long story short, I advised him not to.
Marcum: That's a good idea! Killconey wouldn't even last long enough in the ring to talk
trash to Balls Nasty!
CS: As much as he would have enjoyed a chance to set things straight with a certain post-retirement 'contender', Killconey's time prior to tonight's match, in my opinion, would be much better spent preparing mentally and physically for the match itself, not to mention spending time with his wife and checking in on Chewy Walrus - who by the way is doing
much better. I
would like to briefly address the incident which transpired last Havok myself, however. While I generally don't go in for personal attacks, one has to wonder about the intestinal fortitude of a
fomer RDCW superstar who is so confident about coming out of retirement that he finds it necessary to show what he's capable of in the form of bush-league cheap shots against victims at unawares.
Monroe: Whoa!
Marcum: Hey! He can't talk about the living legend Balls Nasty like that!
CS: But I digress. While I'm looking forward to Killconey turning in a solid performance in the ring tonight, I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'm already thinking ahead to Scammiversary. Thanks to the support of all of you fantastic fans out there, I will have the opportunity to fight for the one title that's eluded me ever since I came to the RDCW - The
Heavyweight Cheese Championship!<Pops from the crowd, and sporadic chanting of Sammitch's name...>Marcum: Would someone please tell this clown he doesn't stand a
chance?CS: And as thrilled as I am about having a shot at the title, I couldn't be more satisfied with the choice of opponent. It's no secret that there's quite a bit of history between Joe Mama and myself. We've beaten the
hell out of each other more times than I care to count, and although he certainly may have seemed pretty
nonchalant about our approaching battle earlier tonight, if the truth were known, you'd see that our friend Joe is more than a little nervous. He never expected me to come out of the Stairway To Hell in one piece, let alone emerge victorious!
Marcum: Neither did we!
CS: And if I'm capable of winning a match against
five outstanding competitors - no, I
didn't have to individually
destroy all five to win the match, but I'm here and they're not - what else might I be capable of? We know what Joe Mama's capable of. You'd have to be a fool not to respect his natural fighting ability and his thirst for violence. But
I seem to be
full of surprises these days.
Marcum: Full of
something, that's for sure!
Monroe: 
CS: And while the
past might encourage
some to put their money on Joe Mama, anyone willing to
see should be able to tell that the RDCW, and Joe Mama, and
myself, have each turned a corner. The future of the RDCW is
now, and I intend, for the sake of each and every
fan in here, to make my mark on that future. Stay tuned.
<Huge pops from the crowd as 'Peace Of Mind' plays and Captain Sammitch exits the ring and heads up the ramp and out of the arena...>
